So the truth is, I'm kind of down right now. First of all, I haven't told you guys this, yet, but I turn 29 in one week. Well I guess officially it's 6 days now. Um...twenty-nine, people. For those of you not good at math that is only 3 years away from 30 (shhh-the bad-at-math people will never know). I have never, ever had a problem with any of my birthdays. Birthdays are fun. But for some reason when I think about this one, a tiny ball of panic crawls up from my stomach into my chest and then up into my throat, and I have trouble swallowing. Well, it's either panic or heartburn. I'm not sure which. This is the last year of my twenties. I am officially freaking out. There were things I was going to have done by age 30. Two key items on the list are not done nor am I even close to completing them. I will let you guys guess which two things I'm talking about. I'll just give you this hint: both involve Kirk Cameron. Or at least they did when I was 11.
I love my life. It's blessed. But sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'll ever finish those other things on my list.
Compounding this feeling is the fact that this weekend marks the one year anniversary of the day B left me. To be honest this is actually having a much more profound effect on me than my birthday is. I never thought I'd get to "the one year anniversary of our breakup" because I thought he would be back by now. That may be pathetic and naive on my part, but I can't help it. That's just how sure I was that we were meant to be together. It's a year later, and I still miss him terribly. That makes me sad.
Sorry to bring everyone down, but you asked. Okay no you didn't. I totally just made that up.
I just want to say something really quick: even though I'm not happy about turning 29, I am excited for my birthday. Everyone's really nice to you on your birthday, and they give you hugs and balloons and stuff. It's awesome. Plus "The Office" will be back with a new episode, and it's about the company Christmas party, and I just know it will be amazing because in one of the previews I saw that Kevin, the big fat guy, has mistletoe hanging from his belt buckle. That's pure gold.
Here's some good news. I have awesome plans this week/weekend which will no doubt counteract the shitty feelings. In fact, my guess is they will surpass the shitty feelings and the net result will be me feeling happy.
1. Suz and AJ are taking me out to dinner tomorrow night since they will be on a cruise during my birthday. Suz actually said, "I know you will probably do something with everyone this weekend, but you deserve many celebrations!" Man, what a bitch. I will kiss Suz and AJ full on the mouth. I don't care if it ruins their marriage.
2. My friends are taking me out Friday. Here's what I know about that night: I will not remember much of it, but the stories will be great. I will probably try to take off the shirt of every one of my male friends. Okay and female friends, I mean who am I kidding here. People will buy me drinks. I will make them dance with me. I might try to get into a fight with Diane's downstairs neighbor. I will make Danielle do the "Oops! I Did It Again" dance. Woody will hide from me. I will find him. Everyone will be awesome. Those are certainties. I'll let you guys know how it goes.
3. Saturday night Part 1: Dane Cook. Saturday Night Live. I think you get the picture.
4. Saturday night Part 2: I have two words for you guys. Two magical words that bring joy to people of all ages all over the world:
Oh hell yes we are going to see Cyndi Lauper. I was told by Jace not to tell anyone, but guess what, Jace? I will shout it from the rooftops. I'M GOING TO SEE CYNDI LAUPER IN CONCERT, AND THERE IS A DISTINCT POSSIBILITY I WILL GET ARRESTED TRYING TO GET ON STAGE!!!! P.S. MY MALE FRIEND JACE IS GOING TO SEE CYNDI LAUPER WITH LIKE 4 CHICKS! SPREAD IT AROUND!! Words can't describe how excited I am about this concert. I'm going to lose my mind.