Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Letters for Wednesday, October 15

Dear Readers,
Whoa-did I leave you hanging or what? What an ahole I am. I'm sorry I was all "oh my God New Kids concert!" and then just fell off the face of the Earth. The truth is I am still recovering. Actually the real truth is, I have hardly been home since then and have had no time to blog. I am currently writing my recap of the concert, but here is a quick one line recap to tease of what's to come:

Best night of my fucking life.

Yeah. F-bomb. What's up.

Dear Coldplay,
I'll be honest with you here. You have never really done much for me. I don't think you're horrible in any way nor do I hate your music. It's just that while some of your songs are okay, they don't awaken anything in me. In fact, it's quite the opposite: they totally put me to sleep. Sarah's tip for killing a party: put on Coldplay. Then...then you come out with "Viva la Vida", and it's not just an okay song or even a good song. It's a great song. Are you kidding me? All your songs should be like this. A+!

Dear Ryan Reynolds,
I read your post about why you're doing the NYC marathon, and I just want to say two things to you: 1 - Good luck. 2 - It physically pains me that I can't be married to you.

Dear car warranty,
Goodbye, my sweet.

Dear peanut at the Browns game Monday night,
Holy shit, peanut. How big are you?

Dear me,

Why do you have old lady hands? This is depressing.

Dear Browns,
Hell. Effing. Yes. Are you kidding me!? The Superbowl champs!? 3 touchdowns!? On Monday Night Football!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? Best game ever. The 2 point conversion "eff you" was just the icing on the cake. God I love you.

Dear Tara Reid,
No I'm sure you're not working now because of the strike (what strike?), but honestly-no need to come back. We are all holding down the fort without you so please take your time with your new lame-o, clearly drug-induced clothing line. It's just better this way, with you not here. Like I mean life is better.


Anonymous said...

My car is almost 100,000, too! Here's to another 100,000!

Thatgirl7278 said...

Were the nuts extra large too - or just the shell? Cuz that has happened to me too and I will get all excited about supersized nuts (who wouldn't?!?) and then BAM! regular nuts.
Life isn't fair sometimes.

Mon said...

I have like 5,000 more to go to 100,000. I see it's like an elite club. I thought I was the only one! Did I mention, my cars a 2004? yea, ok! Who got screwed?

Coldplay? Responsible for one of my favorite 40 year old virgin quotes....know how i know that you're gay? you like coldplay.....

Anonymous said...

Oh. My. GAWD.

Not only do the elite three have cars around 100,000, but we are all Sagittarians. (I clicked on your profile, Mon!)

Anonymous said...

Mon, I do have a question: Do you own a Christmas sweater AND wear it?

Sarah said...

I'm with you on that Viva La Vida song. I've been going around singing it for weeks!

Anonymous said...

i'm still glowing from the Browns win...AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My students had to pick two articles from the plain dealer and then write a summary and present one and tell why they picked it. Most chose political or world articles except one boy. He picked the Browns article in the Sports section and said he picked it because "it shows we don't suck". well said.


JL said...

Holy crap woman, I love you and I don't even know you. Which makes things odd. That and I'm married, but whatever.
I've yet to blog about my amazing the NKOTB concert in San Jose. Seeing Jordan with his shirt off excited a stalker-esq feeling inside me I didn't know I had.

Idea #527 said...

Wait. . . how can you not like the song "Fix You" by Coldplay?

Also, Ryan Reynold's is mine. I think I teared up a little when he got married a couple of weeks ago. I have had a crush on him since like 5th grade when he was on the show "Fifteen" on Nickelodeon.

And Tara Reid is an idiot. I can't say I have ever liked her.

Anonymous said...

On Coldplay- yeah, a lot of their songs are pretty mellow, but they put on a helluva concert... even their chill songs are full of energy live.

Sadly, Chris Martin doesn't rip his shirt off in a wind tunnel ala Jordan Knight; but its still great.

KT said...

I have the exact same feelings about coldplay. Before I could take them or leave them. Viva La Vida, best dam song I've heard in a while.

Anonymous said...

Nice come on with it.

Toren, of former "Well Hells Bells" fame.