Thursday, February 18, 2010

Faster, Higher, Stronger, Drunker

The Olympic opening ceremonies were on Friday. You might remember that we did something special for the opening night of the summer Olympics 2 years ago. So we felt we needed to do something in celebration of these Olympics. Steph decided to have a party. Everyone was to pick what country they wanted to be, come dressed like that country and bring a food dish traditional for that country.

Here's who we had:

- Meg was Jamaica. She wore green, braided her hair and said "mon" after every sentence. She brought plantains and Jamaican jerk chicken.

- Drew was Poland and wore a lot of red and white and brought paczkis. For some reason, he wore shorts. He also had a thing pinned to his shirt that said something about polish sausage. I can't remember exactly what it said, but it was innuendoy.

- Sharda was Mexico and didn't dress up at all. Yeah I just called you out, Sharda.

- Aloyd was Australia, but didn't dress up either because he picked Australia when he showed up. Called. Out.

- Steph was Ireland and basically dressed up as if she was going out for St. Patrick's Day. I'm quite sure they don't wear beads and vests with shamrocks on them in Ireland itself. Steph made several kinds of food, but I'm not sure if any of them were actually Irish. She can correct me in the comments if need be.

- Christy was France. She brought brie and french bread and french wine. She wore a beret and a scarf and carried a long cigarette. And by cigarette I mean candy stick which she held as if it was a cigarette all night long.

- Woody was Scotland and wore a kilt. For real. His food dish? Scotch.

- I was USA. Unoriginal choice? Maybe. But I wanted to represent. I wore red, white and blue, a big stars and stripes hat and gave myself a gold medal preemptively. It had a red, white and blue ribbon and it said "#1" on it. Steph was like, "You can't give yourself a medal before the games start." And I was like, "Hello I'm USA. I'm arrogant and I'm number #1." I brought apple pie and corndogs.

- Matt was Germany and wore his grandpa's actual lederhosen. He walked in with tear away pants on then when they tore away: lederhosen. I couldn't look at Matt all night without cracking up. He brought several kinds of sausage and sauerkraut.

Matt does not wear lipstick.

- Diane was Canada. She brought some kind of amazing sandwich that you dip in maple syrup. And you just have to see what she wore:

Some of you will recognize that as Phillip, half of Canada's famous duo Terrance and Phillip on "South Park". What you can't see: she had the cut off sleeve of a t-shirt on her head. It said Molson. Let's do a close up of that pin she's wearing, shall we?:

I love my sister.

Before the ceremonies started, we all started arguing about which country was better. At one point my sister held up her Phillip picture and yelled, "Stick your finger up your butt!" That won't mean anything to you if you've never seen South Park, but I literally cried I was laughing so hard. Also during the argument Meg said, in a horrible Jamaican accent, "Jamaica love everybody, mon."

As everybody's country walked into the stadium, we would cheer. I, of course, stood up and waved my flag (I brought a flag) and chanted "U-S-A!" No one else in the room, all from the United States, cheered. They all conceded they should be cheering, but no one was. When Poland came up, Drew polkaed. By himself.

Another awesome highlight: Meg asked the question, "If they light the torch indoors, how can they show it outside in aerial shots like they usually do?" It got quiet and everyone stared at her for a couple minutes then suddenly Diane held up her picture and yelled, "Poop your pants!" I cried for the next 10 minutes. I have a mature sense of humor.

Um, so, the opening ceremonies. The artistry was impressive. I imagine if you were from Canada it was absolutely incredible. If you weren't, it was pretty cool and then pretty boring. But I admired where they were coming from and what they were trying to do. How effing long did those Indian people dance? It was like an hour minimum. Also...slam poetry? Really, Canada? I mean I love that you were trying to embrace all kinds of art, but seriously? That dude's neckbeard was out. of. control. Those four big things, I think they were supposed to be people, that rose out of the ground were pretty cool. They definitely looked like penises. I said as much and then Steph corrected me, clearly appalled at my faux pas, "No, Sarah, those are vibrators. With arms." Sidenote: I felt SO bad when they went to light the flame and the one vibrator didn't come up. I can't imagine how much time, money and thought went into that final trick and then it didn't work. Don't worry, people who did the opening ceremonies, it was still really impressive.

My favorite part of the night was that Meg brought candles. A smaller one and a bigger one. We lit the smaller one and passed it around like we were passing the torch, then we lit the bigger candle which was our official Olympic flame. It is stuff like this that makes me head over heels in love with my friends. We passed our own torch!

Please note the ridiculous amount of bare man leg in this picture.

While we passed the torch we each had to say something in our country's accent. Things really broke down here. Here are some examples of why: Steph said "Lucky Charms". Diane said, "Poop in your pants, eh!" Woody yelled, "Freedom!!" Right about the time Meg said, "Smoke a doobie mon," Steph turned to me and said, "Are we celebrating different cultures or are we just being racist?" I told her I thought it was both. Our intentions were pure. We genuinely wanted to celebrate multiple nations coming together for a common interest and raise up those cultural differences. But most of us haven't been to any of those countries so we turned to stereotypes. Also we are aholes. Sorry, other countries! We love you! Americans are rude! Let's perpetuate the misunderstandings!

On a related note, the Olympics are ruling my life right now. Anyone else? I cried like 7 times tonight. Lindsey Vonn! Shaun White! It's just like the time I bought myself a plastic gold medal that said "#1" on it for this racist party I went to.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I swear this blog is still more than Lost recaps

I am a shitty blogger lately as I've only had time for Lost recaps. I realize this is super annoying for my non Lost readers. However, rest assured I am working on a post about what we did this weekend which I will have up tomorrow. And I will need your help in determining if my friends and I are bad people. So stay tuned.

Aaaand Lost.

- Hey Alterna John is with his lady! That makes me happy. Except she said they should have a small wedding with his dad there. Does that mean his dad isn't the one who paralyzed him? Or does it mean he lied to Helen about how he got hurt? Wait in the original reality did she leave before he got hurt or after? I can't remember.

- Smoke Monster cam! I totally feel like a smoke monster right now.

- Okay, "Randy", is it? Alterna John's boss? Why don't you go EAC? Prick.

- I like how New Locke's like, "Hey, Richard, come with me. I'll tell you everything. Let's be best pals forever." And Richard has crazy eyes and is like, "Um, you can bite me." Good call, Richard. Don't go with the smoke monster. The little kid New Locke "saw" is Jacob, right? He's holding his arms weird like Jacob always does.

- Drunk Sawyer is cracking me up even though it's sad why he's drunk. New Locke is clearly trying to recruit him. I don't like this game. I'm sure New Locke is going to be really forthcoming with the answer to the question "Why are you on this island?". It probably won't take 17 episodes.

- Alterna John and Alterna Hurley. Wait Hurley owns John's company! Best. Boss. Ever. Amiright?

- I can't remember the girl's name who wears the vest. I'm going to call her Nicer Ana Lucia. She's pretty. And she better cough up some answers before I punch her in her Nicer face.

- Creepy little boy in the forest! New Locke is obsessed with him. I know when I see creepy little kids staring at me like they know something, I like to run after them. Please let's spend time together, little kid who is clearly a weird incarnation of someone who is a) actually 20 years older and b) dead!

- Can I interject something unrelated here? This might be the first time in years I'm excited about the Oscars and that's for 2 reasons only: Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin. Genius.

- I like how every single person on this show has to be a little creepy. Like Locke can't have a normal person helping him at a temp agency. It has to be some weirdo lady who clearly has too many cats at home. ROSE! I love you, Rose. Ugh. She still has cancer. I was hoping we would somehow just skip over that, and it would go away and she would be fine.

- OMG they're burying our Original Locke on the island. This is depressing. At my funeral, I hope the person who killed me delivers the eulogy. Whoa! Ben just confessed! I cannot wait to see what his fate is at the end of this show. Like why is he on the island and why did the island constantly forsake him? Seriously I love you, Frank. Never button up that shirt.

- Katey Sagal has a smoking body. She's like 55. How is that possible? If I look half as good as her at that age, I will be happy.

- "Look a rickety rope ladder that goes down a cliff and a guy who is dead and wearing someone else's body wants me to climb down it. Sounds cool. I'm in." – Sawyer

- One white rock and one black rock on the scale. Good vs. evil perhaps? I totally get symbolism (not really). So Jacob just writes their names down on a cave wall and they come to the island. Look this is not answering some huge mystery, Lost. We already knew Jacob was bringing the people to the island. The actual question I'm going to need answered is why those specific people and what for?

- What if Locke was your gym teacher. Mah! And your sex ed teacher! Gross! Incidentally my high school sex ed teacher was a guy from my church who I have known since I was 5. Awkward! Shut up Ben is a teacher! I love that on the island, Ben's dickishness manifests itself as totally psychotic murderer and in Alterna World he's just a douchebag who's really anal about things like changing the coffee filter. For some reason that makes me laugh.

- Each of the names on the cave wall has a number, too. "Jacob had a thing for numbers." No shit. So those numbers are THE numbers. What is the significance dammit!

- So all our Losties are candidates for protector of the island. I don't believe New Locke that there's no reason to protect the island. He's just saying that so Sawyer will go with him. He probably can't get off the island alone. He probably needs Sawyer's body. Upgrade! You guys, that's not nice. I wonder who will end up staying to be the protector of the island. Probably Jack. Cuz he's hot. What's really tragic is that the one guy who definitely would've taken the job without question is being worn as a meat suit by Smoke Monster/Man in Black/Guy Who Was Clearly Banished to the Island for Something He Did and Now He's Just Bitter Cuz Jacob Wouldn't Let Him Leave.

Whoosh-great episode. And a big answer. Nicely done, Lost! However, I will require more of Jack next time. Preferably shirtless.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Things I have been up to

Going to Chinato, the new Italian restaurant on E. 4th. It was outstanding, though the service was s-l-o-w. However, I think that was on purpose, and we really weren't in a hurry so it was fine. The food was fantastic.

Going to Chocolate Bar. Things I ordered and/or tasted: Snickerbocher Mud, Dirty Girl Scout, Chocolate Chocolate Mint martini, Peanut Butter Cup martini, Chocolate Banana Cream Pie martini. Things I recommend because ho. ly. shit. amazing. : all of the above.

Leaning out of the shower with one foot in the tub and one foot out to try and reach my Olay facial cleansing cloth which was on the counter then slipping and falling out of my shower onto the floor. Then writing this to my boss: "Running late due to a shower mishap. Be there soon!"

Celebrating my brother in law, Drew's, 30th birthday by helping my sister throw him a surprise party where I:

- Broke my shot rule by doing one every hour then every half hour then every 20 minutes. (Reminder: my shot rule = I don't do them)

- Bet on a crab race while hammered and had this conversation with the guy running it who was using a GIANT pen to write stuff down:

Me: That's a pretty small pen.
Him: It's my Bill Cosby pen.
Me: Oh.
Him: Okay what do you want to name your crab?
Me: Small Pen

By the way, Small Pen sucked. He was, literally, the only crab that did not move. At all. I know he was alive, too, because the guy sprayed him with water, and he flinched like a little wimpy baby crab. Dammit, Small Pen.

- Saw Tony naked after we got back to Drew's house because he ran downstairs in the buff and ran around the table we were sitting at yelling and dancing. The best part was Matt yelling out in horror, "It touched my coat!" Dammit we miss you, Tony. Can't wait till you come back from Afghanistan for good! Did you ever know that you're my hero?

Liveblogging Lost. Let's do this:

"He's alive. He's aliiiiive!!" Yeah, Sawyer, I know you're sad about Juliet-we all are. But making disparaging remarks about Sayid is not going to bring her back.

- Sideways flash Kate's in the cab. She is being a beeyotch! I mean more than normal. I like how there's no regard for the fact that Claire is pregnant.

- "As you can see, Hugo here has assumed the leadership position. So that's pretty great." Awesome, Miles.

- Okay so far Sayid seems very Sayid and not Jacob.

- For people who claim to be protecting our survivors, they sure do love beating them up a lot.

- For some reason, Kate's badassery this episode is coming off as more annoying than impressive. Both on the island and in the alternate reality. Also I love how she stops at an auto mechanic's shop, and happens to run into the one auto mechanic who a) knows how to take off handcuffs and b) won't turn her in.

- Jack and Kate. Semi almost kiss. Look how he looks at her. Amazing. I know it makes no sense that in one sentence I am bitching about her and in the next I want her to be with Jack, but I do. I still believe in them, you guys!

- Holy fuck what is Englishtastesbadonmytongue doing to Sayid!? I will kill him. Also I'm semi-irritated the writers made it so that guy doesn't speak English so that we still don't know what the fuck is going on. Kind of a cheap trick, writers. I will be the flame.

- Okay Sayid didn't pass the test. What test do you think it was? To not cry while someone is poking you with a hot iron? Has anyone passed that test ever? Maybe Jack Bauer.

- Okay, okay. Kate came back for Claire. Feeling a little better about Kate. Aw Claire. I missed you.

- Just realized I'm an effing idiot for not realizing what the flight attendant meant last week about "the first flight". The second flight was the one that brought Locke's body. #sarahfail

- Holy eff that white guy on the trail with Kate and Jin is ANNOYING. Like worse than that dude from last season-Radishman or whatever. Oh! Nice move, Kate! You punch him right in the face! Starting to love the badassery more.

- Mkay so Sayid is infected with "the sickness". What does that mean? Obviously it's what the French people had, right? Hurley just asked Sayid if he was a zombie. I love Hurley.


- Back to hating Kate. Running away to be with Sawyer. I will punch you in your freckles, girly.

- So it looks like Claire was fated to keep Aaron, huh? I can't believe that lady's not going to take the baby even though her husband left her. Didn't she see Juno? If you're still in, I'm still in!

- Poor Sawyer. He can't even grieve for Juliet without Kate getting in his face. At least she tried to do the decent thing and walk away when she saw he needed to be alone. Then of course he saw her and so he has no peace.

- Ah! Scary Dr. Ethan!! Is he going to steal Claire's baby?? Bizarro Ethan doesn't want to stick her with needles. Puh-lease. Man, I really want to like this Ethan. And I do. And it's confusing me. I have inner turmoil. Fun fact: The guy who plays Ethan is Tom Cruise's brother cousin (Thanks, Russ! I fired my fact-checker).

- Whoa-Kate taking responsibility for messing up Juliet and Sawyer's submarine escape? Never thought I'd see the day. Sawyer is making me cry. It's not your fault Juliet is dead, Sawyer! And also-no one is meant to be alone. Don't say that. Oh my GOD. Sawyer was going to ask her to marry him. Why is Lost trying to rip my heart out?

- Holy crap, Jack-give Sayid the pill! Or not-it's poison? Pretty genius of you to swallow it. Englishtastesbadonmytongue totally just freaked out.

- SAYID HAS DARKNESS GROWING IN HIM AND CLAIRE HAD IT, TOO! That makes me incredibly sad. So is Claire dead? Or is she evil?

- Ugh-annoying dude again. I seriously want to-omg for real I was about to say "I seriously want to kill that guy" and then he got shot.

- CLAIRE!! Looking eerily like Rousseau.

Awesome ending! Man I really feel closer to knowing everything now. And by everything I mean nothing. However, as always, riveting stuff. Still love this show for making me so crazy. Need more Desmond next week. Also need to write in complete sentences.

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Sorry you had to see me like that

Are you guys recovered from Lost Tuesday night? I am not. I thought it was amazing, but it kind of pissed me off. Here's the deal: it's the last season, and I want answers. I went into the season premiere expecting a bunch of answers and got 900 more questions and MORE GD OTHERS!! I forgot the cardinal rule of Lost: Just go along for the ride.

So I rewatched tonight with my usual "this is an awesome mindfuck" attitude (also without a blinding migraine). And I must say: seriously what? What is happening!? It looks like they are setting it up to give us some answers. I watched the show with my sister, Drew and Matt so I wasn't able to post as I was watching. However, I can recreate what was happening inside my head at the time, and since I have no idea how to make a cohesive post about this show ever, that is what I have done. I'm sorry in advance.


- Thank God for the recap episode. At least 7 times I said, "Wait I don't remember that."

- So okay it worked, right? We're back on the plane with the flight attendant who disappeared and then became creepy. Jack needs a haircut.

- Ahh!! Spilled vodka!!

- Can I just say that I love Rose and Bernard. Although if Rose is on the plane that means she still has cancer, right? Okay that hurts my heart. Diane is extremely sad about this.

- Does Jack remember everything? Or no? It kind of seems like he does. Why is his neck bleeding? Seriously wtf is up with this show?

- Desmond! His hair is totally fluffy. Yet he is still hot.

- We're going into the water. Mah shark!!! Was that necessary, Lost? The island is under water? Say wha?? After the underwater island scene, Diane goes, "That was bad special effects." Awesome.

- How many times do I have to watch the scene where Juliet falls down the well and sets off the bomb? Twice in the recap and twice during the actual show. Enough! I already admitted I was wrong about her. Please stop torturing me!

- OMG Kate didn't make it back to the plane!? Ew I don't like how her ears are ringing, and they're making us hear what she's hearing. It's horrible. May I ask how they survived an H-bomb? I'm no scientist, but isn't that not really possible? Oh thank God her hearing is back. Seriously why isn't she with Jack? Dammit Miles didn't make it either. Uh...Sawyer and Jack are on the island, too? What the eff is happening!?

- Okay, Sawyer, I'm gonna need you to not kick Jack in the face.

- Back on the plane. Kate's there, too! Yeah Jack wants a piece. So does Sawyer. Ugh. Whatever. Kate is so pretty. People don't actually look like that. It's not normal to be that gorgeous.

- Arzt! Guy who blew up! Hurley's the luckiest guy alive? Is this Bizarro world?

- Okay so it's clear that the bomb worked, right? They went back to the plane, but right before the bomb went off they "skipped through time" to the present on the island. So now there are two realities. Freaky.

- OMG Juliet! Juliet's alive! Ooh-Sayid is, too, but really doesn't look it. Even when Hurley is in an extremely stressful situation he calls people "dude". Also his, "I gotta gun, and I know how to shoot it!" while clearly not knowing how to use it made me pee.

- Maybe in Bizzaro World Sun and Jin have a great marriage. No. They do not.

- BOONE!! Looking hot, Boone. Remember how Boone and Locke were friends? God I miss the first season. Did Locke really go on the walkabout? Or is he lying? Sidenote: "The Walkabout" which was like episode 4 or 5 from season 1 is still my favorite episode of all time. Maybe of any television show ever.

- Ben is like a shell of his former self.

- Yes! Fahey!! Check out that awesome chest hair. Goddammit I love this guy. Thank God he is on the show this season. I am 100% serious that I need him to be on every episode.

- So Jacob's friends who were on the plane and who brought John's body to show to Richard creep me out. Richard looks a little unhinged, and that guy never looks unhinged. Ben just saw Locke's body. And most likely soiled himself.

- What is Jacob's deal? I need him to just come out with it. I like how Hurley isn't freaked out at all by Jacob saying he's dead. Why does he need Sayid to be saved? I mean, I know why I need him to be saved. But why does Jacob? Just tell me, Jacob!

- Oh, Sawyer-we both know you're not going to kill Jack.

- God Sayid is hot when he is being all badass and kicking in doors. Even a flimsy airplane bathroom door. One time I accidentally locked myself in an airplane bathroom. That is just as badass. Oh great-Charlie's dead again. Like it wasn't horrible the first time I had to watch it. Oh wait maybe Jack will save him. Do you think when they filmed this scene it was super weird when Matthew Fox had to put his fingers in Dominic Monaghan's mouth? Wait-Charlie was choking on drugs? What? Was he trying to swallow them?

- Juliet! She's alive! Sort of. God she is not looking good. I said that out loud and Matt said, "Well she did fall down a well and a big crane fell on top of her." Shut up, Matt aka Captain Obvious. Sorry for the 'tude, Matty, I am worried about Juliet. Please Lord let Juliet live. I take back everything bad I ever said about her.

- Okay back at the big statue. Jacob's friends are being very pushy and decided to storm the statue. I have a bad feeling for them. The dude stole Locke's form. You really think a couple guns are going to stop him? Dumbasses. Ah-smoke monster! Everyone run! It is about to get gross up in here! So it can't cross the ashes which explains the ashes in front of Jacob's house-HOLYEFFGIANTPIECEOFWOODTHROUGHTHECHEST! Giant piece of wood through the chest!!! I just almost puked. Holy fucking fuckity fuck! New Locke = smoke monster? Mind. Blown.

- Oh no. Juliet isn't making sense. Oh no no no. Yes kiss her, James. Then take her topside and nurse her back to health please. No. OMG no! For real I have to suffer through her death twice? This is horseshit. What's the important thing she has to tell him?

- We're on the plane now. Whoa Charlie said he was supposed to die. Does he know something no one else does? Is it significant that Desmond is no longer in the seat next to Jack? If this plane crashes, I will fight somebody. Okay no it didn't crash. Aw. I miss Boone and the originals. Oh no-Locke's in a wheelchair. Honestly that breaks my heart. What an incredible actor Terry O'Quinn is. As the New Locke he's cold, ruthless and terrifying. And as Locke he's kind and sad and vulnerable. He's just astonishingly talented.

- Back on the island. Kate's kind of all up in Sawyer's business right now. I know she is sad for him and trying to help him through his loss, but maybe she could stop trying to have sex with him after his girlfriend just died. Okay that may have been a little harsh, but you guys know how Kate pisses me off. Poor Jack. He looks so sad that the plan didn't work. It did, though, Jack! Right now another you is at LAX! Both yous need haircuts.

- There's the guy without an arm! Remember how they kept showing the French dude's severed arm on the ground? Gross! I'm awesome-they totally just brought it up.

- Diane lost her mind that Kate walked away with the light as Jack and Jin were trying to carry Sayid and not fall down the hole. Then I was like, "She clearly has the crazies cuz she's hearing voices." Okay now they're all separated and have the crazies. I am very stressed out right now.

- Oh look-more. goddamn. OTHERS! At this point, Diane screamed, "No! Don't introduce new people!"

- Back in the airport. Kate stole Jack's pen. My head hurts watching her smack that guy's head into the counter. Sawyer needs a haircut, too.

- Island. Please ask Juliet what she was going to say, Miles, because I, too, need to know. "It worked." Creepy!

- Seriously Diane and I are super annoyed by the introduction of new characters. Weird flight attendant! What does she mean, "They were on the first plane"? Was there a second plane? Am I just forgetting? Seriously what is going on. Jacob's in charge. Fine. And he's at war with New Locke. And New Locke doesn't want anyone on the island. Why does Jacob want them there? Why these specific people? Why are they important to him?

- I need Sun and Jin to be loving again. And Jin to have no shirt on.

- So okay this spring is what-like the spring of eternal life? Is that why Richard never ages? Why isn't the water clear? Is it cuz Jacob is dead? I like how the temple people say, "If we do this, there are risks." about putting Sayid in the water. But no one asks them what the risks are. What I'm going to need is for Sayid to be okay. Yeah they're pretty much just drowning him at this point., temple people! If Sayid is really dead, I will smack a bitch. And bitch, thy name is Lost writers.

- Back at the airport with Kate's boring "trying to escape" storyline. Oh she just kidnapped Claire by accident. See how they all end up being connected even when not on the island!?

- Back on the island again. Right here is when Drew said that Jin was built like a brick shithouse.

- Ooh that guy doesn't like the way English tastes on his tongue. Whatever. You obviously have not heard my nasally 'a' and how I'm always telling people to eat a cock.

- Oh man-temple's going crazy. Warning people that New Locke Smoke Monster is on the loose, and there's no protection from Jacob. This is bad news, people! Oh for Christ's sake, New Locke, was kicking the piece of wood out of that guy's chest necessary? Oh no. Do not tell me that John's last thought was "I don't understand." This is too much for my heart to take. Seriously Terry O'Quinn is just knocking it out of the park here. New Locke wants to go home. Where is home? Why can't he go home? Was Jacob keeping him there? Why is that literally the scariest look I have ever seen in my life? I need to change my underwear.

- Can I interject here and say that this is all feeling a little good vs. evil, God vs. the devil? I doubt the show would go the way of religion, but it sure feels like it right now.

- Miles is sitting by Sayid's body and acting funny. What do you know, Miles? Spill it!

- Poor Jack. He feels so responsible for everything. He's carrying a ridiculous weight on his shoulders. I didn't see anyone else with a plan, haters (Sawyer)!

- I LOVE this scene between Jack and Locke at the lost baggage area. Remember how they kind of fought each other the whole series, and here they are having a great interaction. It's nice to see how they get along without the stress of being deserted on a weirdo island. Is it significant that they both lost luggage/coffin with dead father? Also so happy to see Locke again. I was really sad when I realized Locke was really dead, and we didn't even get to say goodbye. But he's still here, and he's lovely. Is Jack going to fix Bizarro Locke's spinal injury!? "Nothing is irreversible." Foreshadowing, you guys! What happened on the island cannot be reversed! Which leads me to my one and only theory: What if there can't be two realities that go on forever? What if, eventually, they have to converge to become one reality? A comment was made at one point (I forget by whom) that you can't change your destiny. Maybe both paths that they're on right now lead to the same destiny, showing us that it really doesn't matter whether or not they crashed on the island because they would've ended up where they are at the end of the season anyway.

- Yes-more Fahey. More Fahey chest hair. Always.

- "Hello, Richard. It's good to see you out of those chains." WHAT!! Ben is seriously pooping his pants right now. Why is New Locke disappointed in all of them? Did they used to be his followers till they defected to Jacob?

- What do the temple people want with Jack?

- Holy eff Sayid's alive! Risen from the dead! Much like a certain J-man who is a superstar. That's all I'm saying. Religiousy undertones? Check.

In conclusion, What. The. Fuck.

God, I love you, Lost!

By the way, my friend at work asked me this morning if I thought Sayid was now Jacob, and it blew my mind. Please leave your thoughts in the comments so I can freak out more.