A stitch in time saves nine is not a good saying

Really quick apology: I'm sorry to Anita and Becky for showing up at your respective baby showers with the creeping crud and breathing all over everything. I swear I was bathing in hand sanitizer so as not to pass on my germs. And Becky, sorry I was so sick that I showed up with wet hair to yours. I literally only had enough energy to run my favorite pick through it (from Fantastic Sam's) and put on eyeliner. Truly it was a miracle I showered at all in my condition. You have a big beautiful belly with those 2 babies in there. I want to hug it and sing show tunes to it, but I will refrain. As long as other people are around.

So growing up, our maternal grandmother was always getting Diane and I to try different types of crafts. We would make Christmas ornaments for our parents and things like that. When I was about 11 or 12, she bought each of us a little starter kit to learn cross-stitching.

Diane made this for me when I graduated high school:







She hates it and thinks it's lame. But I love it and think it's sweet. Plus it looks a lot like me.










This is what I made:





















I call it "Minus Sign". Also you should know, that is from the starter kit my grandma gave me. That's literally as far as I got. I spent, like, 36 minutes stitching this 21 years ago, and that was it. I know what you're thinking: My commitment is unparalleled, and my grandmother is probably really proud. Look the way I see it, this is the only piece I ever did. That makes it more rare. More rare means more valuable. Amiright??

Yeah I'm probably gonna throw it away after I press "Publish". Just kidding. No way am I throwing this away. Now I don't have to buy my parents a Christmas present.