Post from the Past: The Royal Wedding

So I'm not sure if you guys knew this or not, but Prince William and Kate Middleton got married. It's true! Not only did they get married, they got married butt-ass-early US time. Stupid International Date Line spinning planet revolving around the sun! What? I'm educated. Anyway, a royal wedding is like Steph and Meg's Christmas. As such, we had to celebrate. We did that in the following 2 ways:

1. Two weeks before the wedding, we held a hen party in Kate's honor. I believe that is the term for a bridal shower in England. We decided to do this at Steph and Meg's favorite British pub, The Old Angle. Sidenote/confession: I've been going to The Old Angle for years and totally thought it was an Irish pub. They have an Irish bartender there! Whatever I don't even care. I love pubs of all kinds. They have dark wood and fun employees and fish 'n' chips and vodka and that is all good with Sarah. Anyway, since Kate wasn't there and we couldn't give her presents, we all donated money to a Women and Children's shelter. Also we had to speak in British accents. Unfortunately for everyone around me, I could only do one by repeating lines from movies and plays I'd seen with British people in them. And on that day that meant Gavroche from "Les Miserables" and Oliver Twist from "Oliver!" so I kept telling everyone what little people can do and asking for some more gruel. Christy hung up some paper wedding bells at the bar and some of the girls wore lovely hats or "fascinators" as I have learned is the correct term for the feathery doo-dads. Here's a picture of one of us wearing a fascinator:

2. The day of the wedding was a Friday and television coverage started at 4am. So obviously we went to Steph's house. Actually we didn't start till 6am so it wasn't as bad even though it was still horrible. Steph had a party at her house at 6am on a Friday morning. Normal? Of course not, but boy did a lot of us show up. I guess we are seriously okay with having a party at any time of the day. Steph laid out a bunch of traditional British fare-tea, scones, crumpets. And pizza. Diane and I were like, "What's with the pizza?" And Steph goes, "We're still in America!" My favorite part about that exchange is that instead of recognizing that Diane and I were asking about the pizza because it was 6am-not a usual time to eat pizza ("Speak for yourself." - my brother-in-law), Steph immediately took the patriotic pride stance. Everyone knows pizza was invented in America. As I said, a bunch of us showed up, including our friends Chicken Noodle (Bill) and Katie who upon calling Steph to be let in to the building announced, "William and Kate are in the lobby."

Since it was so late in the morning, and I am a morning person, I was a pleasure to be around. <--OPPOSITE SENTENCE. I was actually very crabby until I had my juice. And by juice I definitely do not mean champagne of which there was none at this party since it was a Friday morning-what do you think we are, irresponsible adults? At one point I asked if Mr. Bean was at the wedding and then giggled like an 11 year old because that's how I roll. Meg immediately was like, "He's there. They already showed him." Then we laughed about how the President of the United States was not invited, but Mr. Bean was. That's my kind of wedding. After a couple hours of not drinking champagne and me not stuffing my face with shortbread cookies, it was time to go to work. Isn't that how every party ends, though?

A few quick thoughts on the wedding itself: Kate looked gorgeous, William looked like he was trying to have fun but kind of wanted to puke, Harry looked ready to get this m-effing party started, the kiss on the balcony was L-A-M-E so I hope they did it up real nice on their honeymoon, Harry is hot and I thought inviting intergalactic guests from neighboring alien nations was a nice touch: