Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Letters for April 15th, 2009

Dear drivers on I-71 this morning,

Thank God you slowed down to cause a mile-long traffic jam while passing by the small fender bender that had clearly happened a while earlier and was all the way off the side of the road posing no threat to anyone because otherwise we all would've just driven right by it without issue, and I would've gotten to work on time. And by on time I mean 45 minutes late because I slept in.

Dear Mel Gibson's wife,

What took you so long?

Dear Johnny Virgil,

I'm so sorry.

Dear "ER" finale,

What? That's it? That sucked. Also am I the only one who every time she sees Scott Grimes she can only think of "Critters"?

Dear co-workers,

You don't know it, but this isn't coffee in my travel coffee mug. It's chocolate milk. I am 7.

Dear Flo Rida,

I hate you for making it so all I hear in my head is your new song "Sugar". I also love you for it. I used to drive my friend Renee and my sister crazy singing the "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" song by Eiffel 65 and now you've taken the best part of that song and paired it with a whole bunch of awesome. "I'll wrap you out of them clothes you my treat, my treat." Indeed, sir. In-deed.

Dear pirates,

Seriously? Pirates? That's your chosen vocation? What year is it? Also I thought you guys were like hot and brilliant and quirky and, despite initial appearances, ultimately good and loyal men on the inside-you know, like Jack Sparrow. No?

Dear my Lost friends,

Um...I just watched two episodes last night, and I am still one behind. The last one I watched ended with Sayid shooting 12 year old Ben. Sidenote: HOLYFUCKINGSHIT. But for reals what is Sayid's problem? Why is he trying to defect from the group? Also, Jack is wicked hot in every decade. P.S. Sawyer just had a new baby girl in real life. I'm sure she is really ugly, and that he does not look totally hot fawning all over her.

7 comments:

Sizzle said...

That blogger who lost his best friend? Heartbreaking. Too much sadness in the blogisphere this week. In the world, always.

I think Sayid is badass and he is brave enough to deflect to save the entire group without it being about attention(um, Jack) or pride (um, Sawyer). Though they are all hot and can haunt my dreams.

ER finale was LAME.

shine (the artist formerly known as meshealle) said...

I rediscovered Jin's cheekbones...yum.

But yeah, Sayid. I can't really say I understand what's up with him. Or anyone. But I don't want to say anything, lest I give something away.

sharda said...

You seriously didn't like the finale of ER? I thought it was fantastic ... did you watch the few months leading up to the finale? A lot of stuff happened in those episodes and actually, I think most of the story lines were resolved in those preceding episodes rather than the finale. I'm still so sad it's over.

Sassy Blondie said...

I was totally paying attention until I read about Jack...then all I could think of was his naked body all over mine...oh, did I say that out loud??

So, I guess that means I concur with your opinion that Jack IS indeed hot in any decade. But I don't like Kate making the googly eyes at Sawyer. Best line was the Kate-Jack exchange: "You didn't like the old Jack either." She's obviously on crack.

And despite our Losties showing up in the Dharma 70s, Ben STILL ended up with The Others, didn't he? No changing the ultimate destiny of the Dharma peeps, huh?

I have the ER finale Tivoed, but I have yet to watch it. If Mark Green is on it, I will bawl my eyes out uncontrollably and won't know if it was lame or not. I loved him first...

I was just glad to hear that we've decided (as a country) to grow and pair and take these idiots out. I mean, paying them just keeps the cycle going. Jeez. I suppose I should have more sympathy, yet I don't care much for criminals. Is that because I'm addicted to Facebook? (anyone catch that story??)

And Sarah, choco milk is my favorite. Plus I'm way older than you, so other people can suck it.

Fizzgig said...

Lost. Wait til you see this week. it'll freak your freak! This whole time travel thing is totally awesome and hurley cracks me up.

Sayid was trying to prevent what happened to them all from happening...the whole henry gale dibacle.

only according to faraday you cant change what happened cus their living the past that already happened. Wacked. No?

If i ruled the world it would be illegal to rubber neck.

Darin said...

I don't know what to say.. But I laughing it!

Golly Gee Damn said...

Why aren't you on twitter?! I'd follow you in a heartbeat. Chocomilk in your travel mug? Awesome.