Thursday, April 30, 2009

Best laid plans

My plan for last night:
- Clean my bedroom
- Catch up on Lost (I'm 3 weeks behind)
- Post about Lost

What I did last night:
- Drank martinis
- Passed out in my recliner
- Woke up at 5am still in my work clothes

When will I learn that martinis on a weeknight is never a good idea?

My company just sent out an email with this subject line: Swine flu preparation. In it are some pretty helpful tips that are hard to figure out on your own if you are the sort of person who has a general misunderstanding of communicable diseases or has brain damage:

1. Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.
2. Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.
3. Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way.
4. Try to avoid close contact with sick people.

I'm amending number 4 to say "Try to avoid close contact with sick people. And pigs." I joke about these being common sense, but the sad thing is there are a lot of people who need these reminders. That is why I wear a full body rubber hazmat suit to work everyday. You never know who you can trust. Plus I look good in yellow.

In other news, X-Men Origins: Wolverine comes out tomorrow night starring every hot man in the universe. Also I heard that Jon from Jon and Kate Plus 8 is cheating on Kate! Someone please look into this right away and get back to me with the details. I am freaking out.

Finally, I love it when the marching band nerds win. Also, read that and tell me if you agree that that Deputy is working on building his stand up comedy routine.


shine said...

It's possible that people who don't know how to cover their noses and mouths when they cough should just be quarantined...from life.

Also, I read this about Jon and Kate today (though I don't watch the show). It doesn't sound like anything is confirmed.

Erin Jeannine said...
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Erin Jeannine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erin Jeannine said...

This is unrelated to your post but as soon as I saw it I had to get it to you. (My company is based in Cleveland, and someone at the main office sent this to everyone.)

I've never been, so I'm passing no judgement, but if there is a t-shirt anywhere with this motto, I am buying it.

(I apologize for being completely retarded with the linking and having to delete and repost 100 times.)

Jesslyn said...

Martini's are like boobs: One's not enough and three are too many.

Ryan Renolds is in the new X-Men movei. OMG. I wanna touch him.

Fizzgig said...

We had a "pandemic committee" meeting at work. Who has a pandemic committee? We also dont have hot water at work so they are bringing us all purell, which the president said doesnt work as well as HOT water and soap. Assholes.

I dont believe john cheated. He cant be that dumb. but then, who was the last to jump on the jennifer anniston and brad pit divorce? Me. I was in complete denial then too.

Fizzgig said...

ps. best laid plans is a good movie you should rent it if you havnt seen it

sarahsays said...

That sounds like my night last night - except it involved margaritas. And me passing out on my couch in my work clothes.

Anonymous said...

This is why I HATE those damn, unoriginal, "funny" Cleveland tourism videos. This is the impression it presents to outsiders...I want to have a stern talking to with the creators. You want to be a comedian, than be original. Be inspired. Don't dump on the place that you live with cheap obvious shots. Idiots. -Steph