Friday, December 04, 2009


Okay so my sister wants me to clarify that I'm not actually a lesbian. She thinks it sounded like I came out as a lesbian to the entire Internet and not just to my family. So, while I think being a lesbian would be a perfectly lovely lifestyle, I am not actually one. Especially not after this. (How many times can I post that link until you revolt?)

We were talking about Oregon during dinner. I don't know why. I've never even been there. Anyway my dad was talking about how great their health care system is there. And I commented that maybe I should move there given how sick I've been the past couple of months. Only before I could say my comment, my dad interjected a second observation about Oregon, but my brain was already sending the message to my mouth to form words out loud. So this is what happened:

Dad: Oregon has a great health care system.
Slight pause.
Dad: Also they were one of the first states to allow gay marriage.
Me: I should move there.
My sister bursts out laughing. Grandma looks confused.

I didn't bother to address it. I just giggled and ate more noodles. God I love noodles.

On Saturday I fell off a step ladder while putting up my Christmas lights. I won't tell you how close I came to breaking my neck and/or cracking my head open on my coffee table because my mom reads this, and I don't want to her to come over any time I have to use the step ladder. But suffice it to say, it was so close I almost threw up thinking about how close it was. Luckily all I did was hurt my wrist, scrape up my ankles, mess up my toe, hurt my left ass cheek and destroy my back. A half hour later I ran my arm into my bicycle handle. I'm moving into a bouncy house next week.

Some thoughts on current entertainment issues:

- Avatar is totally in my face. And I really don't get it. They have a hot guy starring in it, but they turn him into a weird looking blue thing for the whole movie. How am I supposed to lust over that? Boo.

- Tiger is at once disgusting and a huge mega dork. I really have never gotten this guy's appeal-beyond his wallet I guess. Which, in this sad day and age, is enough for a lot of women. I'm not kidding it makes me sad. Ugh. Also seriously he's a F*CKING DORK. And not the good adorable kind.

- Who watched Glee last night? "Jump" was amazing. I love you, Glee!

- My sister and Drew went to Star Wars: In Concert tonight. Drew was geeked out beyond belief. Hopefully they met a man for me.


Biscuit said...

"I'm moving into a bouncy house next week"

Jesus, I really do think you're me in a parallel universe some days.

Erratic said...

OMG that picture. He needs to be 18, like, now.

Anonymous said...

Okay, seriously, love your blog! In the past week, you have helped me kill countless hours at work going through your archive. If I move to Clevelend, can we be BFFF?

Kimberly said...

I am moving from my bouncy house. Its not as safe as you think as I can tell you from experience - trampolines will kill you.

Fizzgig said...

we had a group from work go see star wars in concert. talk about a nerd herd!


Jesslyn said...

I want to touch him. I feel like a dirty old woman, but damn I just want to touch him.