Friday, January 08, 2010

How in the world is it 2010?

Well how's it hanging, y'all? Sorry I have been MIA this week, but it is like migraine city up in here. Every day around the same time, I am sidelined by massive pain. Therefore most of my evenings have been spent massaging my head while sitting in the dark and then going to bed by 9. Thus no bloggy time.

How were everyone's holidays? Mine were wonderful-as usual. I was showered with gifts including "Flight of the Conchords" season 2 which I began watching the other day and can I just say this: You need to drop everything and watch this show. I cannot believe how funny those guys are, and I am so heartbroken that this was the last season. Major, major sad face.

Also here are the names of two cookbooks my mom gave me: The "I Don't Know How to Cook" Book and Leaving Home Cookbook and Survival Guide. Yeah. I left home 11 years ago. Awesome.

Our trip to Florida was wonderful. The weather was great, and we got to go to a couple Disney parks, and we saw a little kid wearing a homemade Pringles yarmulke. The trip was relatively uneventful in the best possible way. We just relaxed and hung out and laughed a lot. It was awesome. Sadly the tan I got had disappeared by the time I deboarded the plane in Cleveland so I don't think anyone believes we were actually in Florida. Just wait till I show them the picture of the Pringles yarmulke. Obvious proof.

My favorite exchange from the whole trip:

Dad: "What was that drink called again? Spank your monkey?"
Mom: "It wasn't called that, disgusting person."

Our New Year's Eve was totally crazy. We went to dinner at my parents' friends' house then went back to our resort and played games. My parents went to bed right after midnight. Whoa-can you handle that? All I know is I kissed so many dudes. And by that I mean I drank at least 2 bottles of champagne by myself while in my pajamas.

My favorite story from the whole week doesn't even involve me. I wasn't there. My parents had different flights than us. On the way there, they had a layover in Atlanta. The layover was only 50 minutes long, and my mom was really worried they wouldn't make it to the other gate in time. She called the airline, and the lady said, "Oh no problem-we'll get a cart for you to take you to your gate in Atlanta. It will be faster than walking."

This solution satisfied my mom, and I was like, "Awesome-I always wonder how they decide who gets to ride on those golf carts. I'm jealous." When my parents landed in Atlanta they got off the plane, and when they walked off the plane to go to their cart, they found themselves face to face with 2 men...and 2 wheelchairs. Yes. Instead of a golf cart, the lady had sent them 2 wheelchairs.

My parents were immediately like, "Oh there's been a mistake. We clearly don't need wheelchairs. We just need a cart to get to our gate on time." But the gentlemen explained that, a) carts cannot be taken from one concourse to another and b) while they were sorry for the mix up, once a wheelchair has been assigned to you, you must be picked up and dropped off at your next destination. Apparently, they couldn't even call it in and say it wasn't necessary. It's their job, and they must complete it. Just like Frodo and the Ring. No matter what, he had to destroy it. Hobbit analogy. Nerd alert.

So my able-bodied parents were pushed through the entire Atlanta airport in wheelchairs, hanging their head in embarassment and giggling the entire time. My greatest regret is not being there to see that.

Tell me about your holidays. Don't leave out the parts about your grandma getting drunk on egg nog or your high school aged cousin text-fighting with her boyfriend all night.


Fizzgig said...

that is seriously awesome about the wheelchairs! lol.

mine blew. I spent christmas crying and being depressed cus i got dumped, and my brothers an alchoholic and my moms got a gambeling problem. i only wish i was kidding. we were all down in the dumps. oh, and i got soap pads from dollar general for a gift. that was awesome. ha ha

new year was way better. spent with someone special and lots of vodka.

Anonymous said...

I had a wonderful Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Migraines are bitch! but only really smart people get them. Okay seriously your blog is great! The wheel chair story is a 'fall of the chair laughing'.