Monday, April 26, 2010

Everyone should read this

Good Lord, April has been an abysmal month for Okay Seriously blogging, hasn't it? It's a testament to how busy I've been, how often I haven't felt well and, let's face it, how lazy I am. So I owe you, dear reader (I'm assuming there's only one left. Hi, Mom!). So here's a mash up of a bunch of crap.

My favorite songs right now:
"Out of the Blue" by Julian Casablancas, "Sunny Day" by Joy Williams and everything by The Maine. Listen to them. Smile. Dance in your car like no one's watching. Then look around and realize people are watching. Then feel kind of dumb. Then remember that you don't really care because at least you're not picking your nose like the dude behind you.

What I'm reading:
"The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. I've gotten as far as the title. It's a really long title. Just kidding-I'm almost done with the book. It's absolutely lovely.

My latest injury:
I jammed my kneecap into a garbage can walking into the house today after work. I then broke the world record for the number of times someone can say "fuck" in 20 seconds.

And now some pictures.

These are cookies my mom, sister and I made as favors for our friend Renee's baby shower. The theme of the baby's room is Little All Star so, essentially, sports. Yeah. We made these. We are three of the most uncreative people to ever grace this earth, and we. made. these. m-effers. Listen I don't want to brag, but I do want to post this picture on the Internet to show how awesome we are. In all honesty, we made hundreds of cookies, and it was a lot of hard work, but Renee is totally worth it.

Since you've been such patient readers, here is a special treat for you.

Twenty years later, my residual anger at my mother for forcing this haircut reared its ugly head in my Maid of Honor toast at my sister's wedding. Feel my pain.

But perhaps the best picture of all is this:

This was sitting on the coffee table at my sister's house, and I said, "Oh is this from Grayson?" (Grayson is Diane and Drew's nephew). And Diane said, "No. It's for you."

Are we putting the pieces together yet, Internet?

I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This news makes me so happy that I literally skip around my house when I think about it. My little sister is going to have a baby. That baby is going to be my niece or nephew. Holy shitzu.

Things I have started stocking up on:
- gum
- sage advice
- Velamints*

Obviously when they told me the news, I reacted calmly-as I do to most things. And by that I mean, I immediately started crying. And screaming. And hugging. Diane and Drew are going to be amazing parents. And my niece or nephew is going to be the greatest kid ever. And I will take him or her to Vegas on their 21st birthday. Most 21 year olds really want to go to Vegas with their 54 year old aunt, right?

More to come on this as the news comes in. So far all I know is that he or she is the size of a lime and is making my sister feel like shit. And I love him or her.

One more blast from the past.

I numbered some parts of this picture. Professionally.

1. That's an ashtray. Remember back in the 70's when everyone smoked in the house? You can't see the cigarette in my right hand.

2. I'm pretty sure my parents still have this lamp.

3. This car is awesome.

4. This was my little keyboard where pretty much every key played the same note.

5. This baby is having a baby.

6. This kid is still single. And is going to be a pretty good aunt as soon as she gets her swearing under control.

*My mom used to carry Velamints in her purse at all times. I looked it up. Apparently they still make them. This is amazing news. Can we bring back Chewels?


Courtney said...

How exciting! Congratulations Okay Seriously's family!!! This post reminds me that you never gave us a post on your sister's wedding...or did I just miss it?

Biscuit said...

That is awesome, my sisters say that being an aunt is the awesomest thing EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAr. Congrats to your sis, and YOU!

Johnny Virgil said...

God I hated chewels. How many times did they spring a leak and just make a mess of your pockets?

Also, congrats!

Coolerboy said...

Congratulations! Awesome picture. I think my parents have a similar picture of me somewhere except:

1. The chair is a bright orange itchy wool
2. The car is a baby blue Ford Galaxy (could hold your car behind the back seats)
3. I have on plaid pants and jacket and a jacket with a different plaid pattern.

Skeezix said...

HURRAH! Congrats to the OkSeriously family!

Dude, you were adorable.

PS. I would love to have that lamp rightnow.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic news!! Humongo congrats to you Aunt Sarah. You will love being an Auntie, it is one of my favorite titles in life. Oh, congrats to the expectant parents, too!!!


Fizzgig said...

you shouldnt take shih tzus in vain like that. they are tibetan, they dont even believe in god like most dogs.

congrats on bein an auntie. its way better than poppin one out yourself!

and i had that same hairdo in second grade, so did my friend maggie who just posted a pic on facebook for the world to see.

Tracy Lynn said...

Being an aunt is the best. My middle niece (18 yrs old) just called me up to ask my opinion of a tattoo she was going to get, because apparently she does not realize that I am lame.

Crystal said...

Congratulations on your aunt status!

A few posts back at some point (I am too lazy to go look) you said you were dismayed to find that egg production is greatly reduced in your thirties. I have to tell you that:

1. I am in my 30's

2. I have been on the pill for twelve years. I missed 1 week of pills because I was traveling and forgot them.

3. My boyfriend smokes a lot of pot so I figured his sperm would just wear sunglasses and get disoriented looking for cheetos in my vaginal canal.

4. I just found out that I am pregnant (and also have turned into the most boring person ever now that I can't drink a bottle of wine every night).

So... It is still completely possible to get pregnant on a golf course with a dried up whomb and half-stupid sperm.

There. You can thank me for making you feel better now.

Brandi said...

Congratulations! Being an aunt myself (in my 30s with no kids or no husband anytime soon), it's awesome.

And wait... Crystal's pregnant???

Laura said...

Yay! Still so happy for you and Drew and Diane.

You should start stocking up on orange tic-tacs. Those are the SHIT.