Tuesday, April 06, 2010

My tan is already fading

I'm back! Florida was fantastic. I'm still putting together my slide show post for you. I know you can't wait.

I was just watching the latest episode of "Parenthood" and got about 10 minutes in until a scene where a 34 year old goes to a fertility doctor, and he says that female fertility declines massively between the ages of 34 and 37. I won't go into the gory details of the horribly depressing emotional tailspin this remark sent me into, but suffice it to say I stopped the show immediately, am considering ceasing to watch this show at all anymore and will now be going to bed to cry myself to sleep. Sorry-I hate to take it to a sad place, but sometimes even old Okay Seriously has her down moments.

Okay I need some cheering up. How about some hilarious conversations I've had with my hilarious friends lately? The first one was in person. The rest were over cell phone text messages.

Keith: "Sarah, is that a new shirt?"
Me: "Yes. It's a little bolder than I usually go for, but I like it."
Keith: "Well, yeah, it's bold, but my question is where's the cleavage? The ladies like to come out to happy hour, too. All I'm saying is, it's not your best shirt."

Scott: Sends me a picture of his son Drew with the text "Drew says hi!"
Me: Sends Scott a picture of my brother in law Drew with the text "Drew says hi!"
Scott: "OMG! He's getting so big. Its been so long since I saw him. What is he now...360 months? They grow up so fast. Cherish these years."

John: "Did you get a chance to see d's?"
Me: "What"
John: "deez nuts"
Me: "Dammit. i knew it
John: "ahhhh haaaaa"

Me: "Just got hit on by the hot dog vendor"
John: "you give him your info?"
Me: "By info do u mean order? cuz yes"
John: "footlong tubesteak smothered in underwear?

That last one was today as I was walking to my parking garage. I snorted. Really loud. Speaking of parking garage...




That is my new baby. Sorry about the bush in the front. Ahahahaha. Dammit, you guys, grow up. I picked her up last Friday 3/26. Then I immediately left for Florida the next morning. But I am back now and driving her around, and she is AMAZING! I am seriously obsessed with her. She has XM radio. How have I lived without satellite radio for this long? I was pretty sure when I got this car, it would be a boy. I knew as soon as I saw her, though, that she is a girl. Yes I am one of those people who assigns a gender to their car. And also names it. Does this surprise you at all? My blogiversary posts are about my blog actually being alive. In the last one it was pointing a gun at me. I'm insane.

Well I couldn't decide on a name. Then I had to run up to Target for some last minute stuff for my trip (and it was an excuse to drive the new car), and I said, "Okay, baby, we need a name for you. What are you thinking?" Then I turned her on and was immediately surrounded by the sounds of the chorus from "Toy Soldiers" by Martika. And so Martika it is-Tika for short. You guys can't judge me. She picked it herself.

Seriously, though, my car is freaking awesome. And I swear I'm not as weird as I sound*.



Idea #527 said...

I love it!!! And now that song is in my head. And not going to lie. 2 weeks ago we got on a discussion of Kids Incorporated, so we You Tube'd it, and then we watched the video for "Toy Soldiers".

Ummm. . . if it makes you feel better I watched "13 Going on 30" when I was 25 and had an emotional breakdown for 2 days. I even had to call in to my part time job because I couldn't quit crying. Feeling better??

Fizzgig said...

eggs schmeggs. If we had no eggs between 34 and 37 what the hell comes out every month? i mean not to be graphic, but if you still have that you have a prayer.

I dont even PLAN to THINK about kids until Im 45. its the new 25 fo realz.

Crystal said...

Martika is a wonderful name for your car because not only did Martika make it HUGE, she also has a heart as shown in the Kids Incorporated episode where she sang a song to the fat kid who felt left out and brightened his day.

Erin Jeannine said...

All my cars have names. I believe this to be totally natural. You can't be saying, "let's take THE CRV" everytime you go somewhere. It's just too long. Tika will save you so much time.

LoveFromMN said...

If Michelle Duggar can still spit out kids at an alarming rate, so can we. But word up, I hear ya.

urban princess said...

I totally understand your love for your new car. When I got my new Tiguan in February, I was OBSESSED WITH HER. Yes, she's a girl, but she's still nameless. Alas. But anyway, she came with Sirius radio, and OMG, I don't know how I lived to be almost 33 without having satellite radio! It is the greatest thing ever. Brian and I do a lot of road trips, and seriously, it makes a huge difference. It's really even better than being able to plug my iPod into the car and listen.

And we need to talk about Lost.