Thursday, April 08, 2010

Oh how I missed you, Desmond

A few things before we talk about "Lost".

1. Yesterday we went to happy hour at Stone Mad, and I had one of the best drinks I've ever had in my life which was Blueberry Stoli vodka and fresh squeezed lemonade. I told everyone that one night on a weekend, I want to go back and see how many I can drink in an hour. Cuz I bet it's a lot. New summer drink!

2. Steph was not sober after our happy hour, and she got into my new car to look at it, and I opened the sunroof to show it to her, and she goes, "Aw shit-I'm on a boat! Do you know that song?" then she immediately got out of the car. Also she ordered ham at the bar, and they didn't have ham.

3. I just found out that my dad's ringtone for when my mom calls him is "The Bitch is Back".

Now. Lost. Um...what??? As usual, my thoughts as they occur:

I'm so happy to see Desmond again. Is it bad that I don't remember Ben shooting him? Wait was it at the docks or something? Holy eff Desmond just freaked the eff out on Whidmore. That was hot.

Jin is hot. He's going to be on the new "Hawaii 5-0" remake. The other guy who's going to be on it is also totally hot. Also Spike from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" is going to be on it. So even though it will probably be a horrible show, I feel it's my duty as a television and hot guy lover to tune in.

Dude Chip is totally in charge of this test, and he is none too pleased his time table has been messed with.

Oh God what happened to that guy. Ew is he on fire? For a minute I thought it was going to be like Die Hard 2 where that guy gets sucked into the jet engine, and I was like, "No need to show that, Lost."

Oh man. That guy is toasty. If Whidmore kills Desmond, I will kill him. Which definitely makes a lot of sense since he is a real person.

Okay What. Just. Happened. Did Desmond get sent into the ether?

OMG what if you were at the airport and hot Desmond helped you with your luggage? He is dreamy. How come I never meet dreamy helpful foreign men in the airport?

Okay, quit being a creepo, guy from Short Circuit.

Mah! Whidmore and Desmond are friends! Desmond works for Whidmore! Up is down! Left is right!

I think if I ever went to jail, I also would make an immediate b-line to the bar upon my release.

Charlie is waxing poetic about love. Is he talking about Claire? I'm sure Desmond is like, "No now I totally believe in love since you saw it in a dream you had in the last seconds of your quickly fading life."

Driveshaft's music is surprisingly tame for all the drug and rock 'n' roll drama behind the scenes. It sounds like it should be on Soft Rock 102.1.

HOLY EFF, CHARLIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? Car in the water! Oh. My. God. I just pooped my pants. Desmond is remembering the island reality!! Remember "Not Penny's Boat"? God that was the best season finale ever.

Sidenote: "Happy Town" looks hilarious. Seriously what? What is up with that show? Every ad I've seen for it is totally terrifying.

Oh God Desmond has to push a button in every reality. Hey I've never had an MRI, but they look fucking horrible. Ooh-okay proof that no one looks good with a fish eye lens. Oh man Desmond remembers Penny. Desmond, she's on Thursday nights on "Flash Forward" if you're trying to find her!

So apparently Whidmore's wife is scary. It's gotta be Eloise, yes? Yes. She really is scary. OMG of course Eloise is aware of all fates that take place in all timelines. She is all knowing in every reality.

Faraday! Nice hat, Debbie Gibson.

Oh yay Faraday still has his trusty notebook. Holy Christ I seriously love Faraday. He knows everything. He totally figured out that the alternate reality they're in is an alternate reality. Amazing.

Penny's real, Desmond! She's not an idea! You love her! YES-Desmond and Penny reunion! Now when can I get a Jin-Sun reunion?

I'm glad Desmond understands what's going on. Because I don't.

Good Lord Sayid is stealth. You don't even hear him coming until he's breaking your neck.

What is happening? Is Desmond just switching back and forth between the two realities? Alterna-Desmond's about to lay some truth on our Alterna-Losties. It's gonna be epic. I think. To be honest I'm not quite sure. I'm not sure what the end goal is-to get everyone back on their "correct" path?

Okay please discuss in the comments as my brain isn’t processing fast enough for me. I need theories, people!


Russ said...

The extreme electro-magnetic field stresses Desmond so his consciousness escapes to save itself. For the SWAN hatch, he became unstuck in time. With the big solenoid, he is able to jump between timelines. This will give the alterna-folks the info they need to merge realities, bring Jacob back and/or replace him with Sawyer.

I'm super curious about Eloise, who does seem to be a bit of a puppet master. It seems like all the people who spend time as an "Other" get a peek at multiple realities/timelines and almost pick and choose things that happen...

So for our favorite A-team folks:
-Is Kate actually a candidate still or no? She's the only one who is shady in real-timeline and alterna-reality.
-Sawyer seems to always come through when people rely on him. I think he'll replace Jacob to protect the island. Hurley is the obvious choice, but I think Sawyer will let him go live life and sacrifice himself, like he did on the helicopter.
-Jack always seems to eff up when people count on him. He has now become a man of faith, like Locke was. Too obvious that we're supposed to think he will take Jacob's place.
-Desmond has to get home to Charlie & Penny.
-I think the Kwon candidate could be their kid, or the whole family.

In summary, this season is awesome.

Nessa, Nanook and Pooka said...

Um, the "Nice Hat Debbie Gibson" line made me laugh so hard I drooled onto my own chin.

So, well done you. And, I'm disgusting. I'm like an 80 year old man gumming a peppermint candy to death and telling small children inappropriate anecdotes. And drooling.

thb said...

honestly, this season has confused me more than ever. there are only 5 episodes left and i really have no clue what could be going on. i'm either just really tired when i watch it or just a complete dumbass.

Erin Jeannine said...

SHORT CIRCUIT!!!! Thank you, that was driving me crazy. Is Faraday ever going to get another acting job? I think not unless he plays the same creeper. And his love is Charlotte? Um, alterna-reality, Charlotte is kind of a whore, which I don't think Daniel would be into. (This is in no way a judgement because I would have slept with Sawyer not even all the way through date one.)

I need Sun's dad to be blown up or something. How did he know to take her money?!?!

PartyTard said...

hahahah I think I had the exact same thoughts while watching it!!

Anonymous said...

I love reading your posts about Lost. I don't even watch it. My boyfriend does, though, and I need it to be over. I swear I could actually dance naked in front of the TV and he wouldn't even realise I would there. Or he would, and he'd throw things at me until I left.

Fizzgig said...

blueberry stoli and lemonade, is the third best drink in the world.

#1 orange monster and chocolate vodka for the (orange tootsiepop!)

#2 Sweet tea vodka and lemonade

#3 blueberry stoli and lemonade

in that order.

lost.....omg. i loved it because it reassured us they are not just in hell or dead somewhere, and desmond has to pick up all the peices! all those times they told him how important he is....and with penny and the constant....eeeep!

happy town is like harpers island, its a miniseries who dunit for summer. personally i think happy town looks better than harpers.