Baby Baby Baby

Hey, gang (this is how my dad would greet you).  As you can see from my post earlier today, I have a new toy/boyfriend.  I bought myself a Droid 2.  It is amazing.  I am so obsessed with it I almost died 3 times today because I wasn't paying attention while I was walking.  You guys, for real, there's a very real chance I will never do anything else again. 

Warning:  It's about to get girly up in here.  It's time for a nephew update.  He is due in 15 days.  I am so excited I could throw up.  As of October 15th, the doctor predicted he weighed 6lb 2oz.  Also he jams his butt up into Diane's ribs and punches her in her va-jay-jay.  He is also laying on her bladder so she has to pee every 2 hours.  Pregnancy sounds fun.

We had the baby shower a few weeks ago.  The theme was the same theme they picked for their bedding.  Drew wanted jungle animals, and Diane wanted sports because she's kind of a boy.  So they found bedding that is jungle animals playing sports.  It is adorable.  Everything baby is adorable.  I predict I will be taking out a second mortgage on my home and/or selling my body for money by July of next year because I cannot stop buying presents for Thunder.

Anywho, the shower.  We put up some of the wallpaper border that matches the bedding in the party room so everyone could see what it looks like.  This was my idea, and it is essentially the most creative idea I've ever had. You can see the wallpaper here under the mantle:

Our centerpieces were all these stuffed jungle animals holding balls (ahahahaha-grow up, you guys).  They were holding footballs, soccer balls and basketballs, and then we had green and blue balloons tied to them.  For the favors we made my mom's famous cut out cookies in the shape of hippos, elephants and giraffes.

Drew's mom got the cake.  The woman who made it is amazing because this seriously looks exactly like the bedding. 

Diane and Drew were both ridiculously cute babies.  That's my sis on the left and Drew on the right.

Check out this lady...

She has grown exponentially since then.  Basically what I'm saying is, she is huge.  I mean it's only her belly that is big, but it. is. huuuuge.

Look what I made while we were making the cookies:

Ahahahaha-The Hippo Centipede.

Testes 1...2...3?

I'm blogging from my new Droid 2. If this works, we are golden.

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I be illin'

I have some SHOCKING news for you:  I'm sick.  I know.  Let it sink in.  "But, Sarah," you're saying.  "You're always so healthy.  You've only been sick like 17 times in the last year."  Seriously here is my reaction to this latest illness:  This is some serious bullshit.  How many effing times am I going to need antibiotics in a calendar year?  Cuz this is the third.  I will punch my immune system right in its...throat, I guess.  Normally you'd be like, "No don't attack your immune system because it will attack you back" but apparently mine won't, you guys.

Anyway, on top of feeling like absolutely crap, this is John's last week at my office.   Some of you know John aka Shop Dungarees.  I've talked about him many times before.  He's one of my very best friends.  We met 9 years ago and were friends almost instantly.  I eat lunch with him every day, and, truthfully, most days he's the only reason I get through the day without losing my soul completely. 

Well, he got a new job.  A promotion, actually, that he really deserves and is a long time coming.  He has not been happy at his job for at least 2 years and watching your best friend be that miserable day in and day out is incredibly hard.  So this new job is not only a great opportunity for my co-worker, John Dungarees, but is also a relief for my friend, Buttcolk Baby Arm.  I feel a weight lifted knowing he'll be in a better situation.  I'm just so so happy for him.

However-and you knew there would be a catch-this new job means he will be working in a different building, one not close to mine.  That means after 9 years of seeing each other pretty much every single day, well, we won't be anymore.  The number of times I have cried over this is ridiculous.  Also no less than 7 people have come up to me and asked, "I heard about John's promotion.  Are you okay?"  That is not normal.  But people are just used to seeing us together, and they know how close we are, and I'm fairly sure 40-50% of people at work think we are having an affair.  When Scott was still here, I think people were taking bets about which one I was sleeping with.  (Answer: both)

John was nice enough to create a visual depiction of our everyday lunch crew and how it has changed over the years:

Sarah John Scott Wayne SpecialDark Danielle
Sarah John Scott Wayne SpecialDark
Sarah John Scott Wayne
Sarah John Scott
Sarah John
Sarah

This really helped me feel better about the situation.  Thanks, John.  Please everyone picture me slumped down in my cube slowly eating string cheese with a tear running down my face because that is my fate.

Despite how sad I am, I am staying positive because I don't want to bring John down during this exciting time.  Also we are not just work friends.  We are real friends, and I have a lot of real friends that I don't get to see every day, and it doesn't make us any less close.  I mean we still work for the same company, his building isn't so far from downtown that I can't drive out there for lunch sometimes plus it's only 10 minutes from my house which means I'll see him on days that I work from home.  That's still makes me luckier than most people.  Also it's not like he's moving to New York like some other jerk I know (IiiU, Scotty). 

Sigh...I'm sad and sick and want my mommy.  Can someone knock me out until this week is over?

Picture time

Saturday my family and I went to Amish country.  Can I just say every time I go there I spend the next few nights sitting up worrying about the Amish people getting hit by cars?  Come on, Amish people!  Please build your buggies out of something more sturdy!  We spent several hours going to stores and eating amazing Amish food, and this is the only picture I took.  Because I am a 13 year old boy.

A couple Sundays ago we threw my sister and Drew a baby shower.  It was really fun-especially when Drew, in all sincerity, called a teething ring a "chew toy".  Please check out what I got them:

Holy crap.  Look I know I'm the one who bought it so I am biased, but I seriously can't even deal with how awesome that is.  I sent this picture to my friend Sudha, and he wrote back, "Oh man that is awesome!!  Can you imagine how old those guys will be when we take him to his first concert?" 

Three weeks ago, we went to a Browns game.  I parked in the street at my sister's place and rode down with them.  When we got back to the house, there was a note on my sister's door.  You can probably guess where this is going.  Diane's neighbor backed into my brand new car.  I was so sad, I couldn't even go look at it so Drew volunteered to.  To be fair, the woman who hit it came running out when we pulled up and apologized profusely.  Plus she left a note.  A lot of people wouldn't have done that.  She was very sweet, and I could tell she was upset.  I obviously wasn't mad at her.  I mean seriously-with my driving history?  I have no room to be angry at anyone.  While it was being fixed, I had a rental car.  You guys, I have spent time on this blog making fun of the Chevy HHR. I have spent lots of time in real life making fun of the Chevy HHR.  Have a look at my rental car:

I asked the guy if they had anything else at all for me to drive, and he laughed in my face.  Oh no wait-that was karma.  Okay, I'm sure there are some Chevy HHR drivers out there, and in no way am I saying you and I couldn't be friends or that I would love you any less because you drive one of these.  That being said...what's wrong with you?  This car sucks more than anything has ever sucked before.  Do we even need to talk about the body style?  I mean, come on.  And now that I have driven it, I can say with 100% confidence:  This is the worst car ever invented.  The windows are so small, I couldn't see anything around me.  If I was at a stop light, I had to bend over so I could see when it turned green because my eyeline was literally above the top of the windshield.  When I changed lanes on the highway, I flipped on the signal, said a prayer, and went for it.  Meg sat in it, got out, walked up to me and said, "There are an awful lot of blind spots in that car.  I'm not sure how I feel about you driving it."  That's from Meg.  Not my mom. 

Obviously the first thing I did when I got the car was call my sister.  I was like, "I feel like everyone is looking at me and judging me."  She goes, "They are."

As I mentioned we went to a Browns game.  Well each year when it's time to buy tickets, it's a really stressful clusterfuck because we always have a bigger group and you can only get 4 tickets at a time and we have to organize who's buying what, etc.  This year, Diane called the group sales area to see if we could just buy all our tickets at once.  Group sales are usually used by actual groups-like charities and churches and Browns backers from other cities.  But they said if we could get enough people, then we could do it.  Well we ended up with 27 people going, and the group sales made it so we all got to sit together which was amazing.  The other thing about buying tickets through group sales?  They put the name of your group on the Jumbotron.  When Diane bought the tickets, they asked her what the name of our group was:

That's right.  She said "Diane's Friends".  I love my sister.