I have some SHOCKING news for you: I'm sick. I know. Let it sink in. "But, Sarah," you're saying. "You're always so healthy. You've only been sick like 17 times in the last year." Seriously here is my reaction to this latest illness: This is some serious bullshit. How many effing times am I going to need antibiotics in a calendar year? Cuz this is the third. I will punch my immune system right in its...throat, I guess. Normally you'd be like, "No don't attack your immune system because it will attack you back" but apparently mine won't, you guys.
Anyway, on top of feeling like absolutely crap, this is John's last week at my office. Some of you know John aka Shop Dungarees. I've talked about him many times before. He's one of my very best friends. We met 9 years ago and were friends almost instantly. I eat lunch with him every day, and, truthfully, most days he's the only reason I get through the day without losing my soul completely.
Well, he got a new job. A promotion, actually, that he really deserves and is a long time coming. He has not been happy at his job for at least 2 years and watching your best friend be that miserable day in and day out is incredibly hard. So this new job is not only a great opportunity for my co-worker, John Dungarees, but is also a relief for my friend, Buttcolk Baby Arm. I feel a weight lifted knowing he'll be in a better situation. I'm just so so happy for him.
However-and you knew there would be a catch-this new job means he will be working in a different building, one not close to mine. That means after 9 years of seeing each other pretty much every single day, well, we won't be anymore. The number of times I have cried over this is ridiculous. Also no less than 7 people have come up to me and asked, "I heard about John's promotion. Are you okay?" That is not normal. But people are just used to seeing us together, and they know how close we are, and I'm fairly sure 40-50% of people at work think we are having an affair. When Scott was still here, I think people were taking bets about which one I was sleeping with. (Answer: both)
John was nice enough to create a visual depiction of our everyday lunch crew and how it has changed over the years:
Sarah John Scott Wayne SpecialDark Danielle
Sarah John Scott Wayne SpecialDark
Sarah John Scott Wayne
Sarah John Scott
This really helped me feel better about the situation. Thanks, John. Please everyone picture me slumped down in my cube slowly eating string cheese with a tear running down my face because that is my fate.
Despite how sad I am, I am staying positive because I don't want to bring John down during this exciting time. Also we are not just work friends. We are real friends, and I have a lot of real friends that I don't get to see every day, and it doesn't make us any less close. I mean we still work for the same company, his building isn't so far from downtown that I can't drive out there for lunch sometimes plus it's only 10 minutes from my house which means I'll see him on days that I work from home. That's still makes me luckier than most people. Also it's not like he's moving to New York like some other jerk I know (IiiU, Scotty).
Sigh...I'm sad and sick and want my mommy. Can someone knock me out until this week is over?