1. Butler University
2. Kirstie Alley and Maksim Longname
3. Southwest Flight 812 (20,000 feet in the sky)
4. Not gas prices
Yes it's true-fucking UConn won the tournament. Oh and I fell this weekend. I know everyone is surprised as I am usually the very picture of grace and poise. Let me describe the events as they happened:
Saturday evening, 6:30pm: I clamp my 450 degree flat iron down on my left forearm
Saturday night, 12:30am: An almost full bottle of wine tips over in my fridge, the top pops out, wine spills all over the bottom of my fridge and into a huge puddle on my kitchen floor. It's my favorite wine.
Sunday evening, 5:30:00pm: I walk into my house, my arms filled to the max with stuff including an 18 roll pack of toilet paper (it should last me a couple days). My ankle gives out and in slow motion I begin my long descent onto my ass but not before realizing that I'm also falling onto my wooden laundry drying rack which is full of clean clothes.
Sunday evening, 5:30:15pm: I'm on the floor looking around for witnesses which makes sense since I was in my house and I live alone. My knee is throbbing, my arm is screaming. I realize with horror that I have squeezed the Charmin. The laundry rack...is no more. We did battle. It lost. Goodbye, sweet laundry rack that I've had since I was a freshman in college.
Sunday evening, 5:35pm: I realize the reason my arm literally feels like someone is sandpapering an open nerve is that I landed on my horrible, most likely 2nd degree burn (I'm not exaggerating) from the day before and all the burnt skin has been ripped off my arm.
Monday morning, 8am: I wake up unable to move because my back is spasming so bad. I work from home. I ice my knee. I take muscle relaxers. They are awesome.
Monday afternoon, 3:30pm: I watch "Raiders of the Lost Ark". I silently thank whoever made the "creative" decision to have Harrison Ford's shirt unbuttoned for 80% of the movie.
Present day: You are wondering why I included the bit about the wine spilling since it had nothing to do with me falling or my injuries. It's just that I am still mad about it.
Seriously, though, how fucking expensive is gas right now. I'll punch someone. Once I can move. And my epidermis is intact.