So I was in Albany for work last week. I was taking a training class. I had never been to Albany before. Here is my initial assessment: it looks a lot like Cleveland. The first night I was there, I found a PF Chang's and got some food to go. While I waited, I sat at the bar. I turned to the old guy next to me and said, "Do you mind if I sit here?" He shook his head so I sat down. Five minutes later his egg rolls came and he silently prayed over them. Five minutes after that I sneezed a few times (remember I was sick) and without saying a word he handed me a cough drop. At this point, I didn't know what to do. On one hand, you never take candy from a stranger. On the other hand, I really wanted it because I felt like shit. I threw caution to the wind and took the cough drop. That's just how I roll, you guys. "Mild To Almost No Danger" is my middle name. Finally my food came and when I left I said to the guy, "Thank you for the cough drop, sir." He silently saluted me. I have never been saluted before. It was nice.

Things I wanted to steal from PF Chang's:

- a big bottle of grenadine
- my wine glass
- olives and cherries from the bar garnish tray
- every guy who worked there

Seriously every guy who worked there was totally hot. What's that about, Albany?

Johnny Virgil was in training with me so that was fun. I think he rather enjoyed my excessively runny nose and heavy mouth breathing. Also nothing is more appealing than dirty snotrags scattered all around you. Sorry, JV. It was fun to see you, though, even though I was sick and you were having a crappy week.

Other notable things about my trip to Albany:
- Someone farted on the plane on the way there and by someone I mean the guy in front of me. I literally thought I was going to die. I was trying to find a way to activate my oxygen mask.
- I got room service. I have never had room service before. It is delightful. I want it all the time please. Is there a service where you can hire someone to bring you room service? Wait yes. I think they are called Papa John's.
- We had to take a test at the end of our training. It was impossible. I spent hours upon hours of studying, and I have no idea if I actually passed. I texted JV afterwards: "That sucked balls." His reply: "Big hairy ones."

A couple things I must mention:

1. Last Wednesday, my little sister turned 30. 30! That makes me feel ancient. We had a huge party for her last weekend-thanks to everyone who came out. It was a great time, and Diane had so much fun. It meant so much to her for all of you to be there. Also thanks to my mom for making rice krispie squares and cupcakes. You are never too old for rice krispie squares and cupcakes, you guys. And also thanks to Dan who showed up to the bar early to drink beer and watch basketball and ended up having to blow up balloons and hang up birthday signs because we needed someone really tall. Tomorrow I will post pictures of Diane when she was little.

2. Speaking of Diane, she is at a work conference in Seattle today. Drew, her husband, is on spring break. So what did he do? Saturday night at 3am he boarded an Amtrak train and rode it across the country to Seattle. He literally rode it for 40-some hours, by himself. Like he just got to Seattle this morning. That. Is. Awesome.

3. Steph is leaving for Ireland Thursday. She is going by herself. This girl can't even eat dinner by herself, but she is going to Europe for 5 days by herself. Isn't that fantastic? Also she is convinced Drew scheduled his across-the-country train ride this week to one-up her and take away the attention. Awesome. My friends are awesome.

Also next time you guys go to Houlihan's can you mention to them that you are angry they got rid of the Mandarin Chicken Salad from their menu? Thanks.