Tuesday, March 31, 2009

So I was in Albany for work last week. I was taking a training class. I had never been to Albany before. Here is my initial assessment: it looks a lot like Cleveland. The first night I was there, I found a PF Chang's and got some food to go. While I waited, I sat at the bar. I turned to the old guy next to me and said, "Do you mind if I sit here?" He shook his head so I sat down. Five minutes later his egg rolls came and he silently prayed over them. Five minutes after that I sneezed a few times (remember I was sick) and without saying a word he handed me a cough drop. At this point, I didn't know what to do. On one hand, you never take candy from a stranger. On the other hand, I really wanted it because I felt like shit. I threw caution to the wind and took the cough drop. That's just how I roll, you guys. "Mild To Almost No Danger" is my middle name. Finally my food came and when I left I said to the guy, "Thank you for the cough drop, sir." He silently saluted me. I have never been saluted before. It was nice.

Things I wanted to steal from PF Chang's:

- a big bottle of grenadine
- my wine glass
- olives and cherries from the bar garnish tray
- every guy who worked there

Seriously every guy who worked there was totally hot. What's that about, Albany?

Johnny Virgil was in training with me so that was fun. I think he rather enjoyed my excessively runny nose and heavy mouth breathing. Also nothing is more appealing than dirty snotrags scattered all around you. Sorry, JV. It was fun to see you, though, even though I was sick and you were having a crappy week.

Other notable things about my trip to Albany:
- Someone farted on the plane on the way there and by someone I mean the guy in front of me. I literally thought I was going to die. I was trying to find a way to activate my oxygen mask.
- I got room service. I have never had room service before. It is delightful. I want it all the time please. Is there a service where you can hire someone to bring you room service? Wait yes. I think they are called Papa John's.
- We had to take a test at the end of our training. It was impossible. I spent hours upon hours of studying, and I have no idea if I actually passed. I texted JV afterwards: "That sucked balls." His reply: "Big hairy ones."

A couple things I must mention:

1. Last Wednesday, my little sister turned 30. 30! That makes me feel ancient. We had a huge party for her last weekend-thanks to everyone who came out. It was a great time, and Diane had so much fun. It meant so much to her for all of you to be there. Also thanks to my mom for making rice krispie squares and cupcakes. You are never too old for rice krispie squares and cupcakes, you guys. And also thanks to Dan who showed up to the bar early to drink beer and watch basketball and ended up having to blow up balloons and hang up birthday signs because we needed someone really tall. Tomorrow I will post pictures of Diane when she was little.

2. Speaking of Diane, she is at a work conference in Seattle today. Drew, her husband, is on spring break. So what did he do? Saturday night at 3am he boarded an Amtrak train and rode it across the country to Seattle. He literally rode it for 40-some hours, by himself. Like he just got to Seattle this morning. That. Is. Awesome.

3. Steph is leaving for Ireland Thursday. She is going by herself. This girl can't even eat dinner by herself, but she is going to Europe for 5 days by herself. Isn't that fantastic? Also she is convinced Drew scheduled his across-the-country train ride this week to one-up her and take away the attention. Awesome. My friends are awesome.

Also next time you guys go to Houlihan's can you mention to them that you are angry they got rid of the Mandarin Chicken Salad from their menu? Thanks.


Jesslyn said...

I lived in Ireland for a few months- from what you've posted about Steph on your blog, not only will she have a great time and meet lots of people in a place like Dublin, but she'll be drunk the whole time.

Also, there is no replacement for home made rice crispy treats. None.

Anonymous said...

Come on, Drew never likes attention or entertaining an audience. Ever! Nor do I for that matter.

Please, you know the only reason both Drew and I scheduled our independent trips is so you guys can talk about us and shower us with attention. We are attention hors. I'm just mad I have to share it with the moron who spent two days on a train when I need to go all the way across the Atlantic for the same level of fawning. I think we need to have a journal reading night, similar to a poetry reading, where we can wear black and berets and you guys can snap your fingers in beatnik fashion while we recite our travel stories. You so know you would be in if we provided wine.

Jesslyn has me get excited though that at least my trip can include the possibility of drunk Irish men. Yay! -Steph

shine (the artist formerly known as meshealle) said...

I want to go to Ireland.

Bummer about the big hairy balls test. Sounds painful.

apathetic bliss said...

bwahahahaha now that was amusing!

Thatgirl7278 said...

Hey Sarah... even if it's off the menu, some restaurants will still let you order it. Did you ask if they would?

midwestgrrl said...

Did you get the tiny ketchup and mustard bottles when you ordered room service? Because that is my favorite part of room service. That and no clean-up.

Fizzgig said...

ireland? i use to dream of visiting australia alone...but then I woke up and realized I'm too chicken shit!

You had a test with your training, thats no joke. they didnt want any tom foolery going down!!

Anonymous said...

I've missed you.....