Blinded by the light

Hello, lovers. Yes it's really 4:30 am, and I am up. I passed out in my recliner like 6 hours ago and just woke up. Obviously I am now watching "Numb3rs" and blogging.

I'm on my new migraine medicine which I wrote about a couple weeks ago. I started a week and a half ago, and as promised by my doctor, I feel really weird. He says it's actually changing my brain functionality and how my heart pumps. So every afternoon, I get dizzy and hot. Then my eyes get weird, and I can't focus. And I am soooo tired. None of this is news. My doctor said it will take a few weeks for my system to get used to the drug. But it is making it hard for me to not pass out whenever I sit still. Thus I am blogging at 4:30am.

So I am on formspring now. You can go there and ask me questions, and I will answer them. Or you can use the box over to the left. I know there are so many questions everyone is dying to ask me. For example, 2 weeks ago, my lovely Biscuit asked me a question that I just answered 15 minutes ago about what life skills I will be passing on to my niece or nephew. I just want to say right now that I usually won't take 2 weeks to answer questions, and also Biscuit is pretty and funny and nice. (Do you forgive me, Biscuit?)

Note to Coolerboy: Last week's "Community" was amazing.

Last night, Channel 5 tried to kill me with its breaking weather news report. Because of them, Lost started 15 minutes late. That translated into angry Sarah while I was watching it on DVR. I had to wait until today for the the full episode to be posted on abc.com.

So I watched it tonight. Here is a quick summary of my feelings: Lots of info which was awesome. The acting was superb. But: wtf. I miss my Losties. I miss Lapidus. Sigh...Lapidus.

Uh oh-someone on Numb3rs is having sex right now. I am uncomfortable. Let's go back to math please, Numb3rs!

As usual, my thoughts as I had them.

- Hey that girl's pretty. Who's she? I just got really scared they were going to show a shark fin.

- Oh and there on the beach is the basket Moses floated in down the river.

- Uh oh. Pregnant lady on the island. Her baby's not going to make it, is it?

- Allison Janney!! Not. Looking. Good. Yikes. I'm sure she's really going to help this poor girl. "Hey I'm terrifying. Come with me if you want to die-I mean live! Live. Hahahaha. Why do you look so nervous?"

- There was a weird noise and now they speak English? That's like in "The Hunt for Red October" when they start out speaking Russian then the camera zooms in and zooms out and they're speaking English. At any rate, it's very helpful to me as I am too lazy to read while watching television.

- Hey wait is this maybe Jacob's mother? OHMIGOD I am amazing. I'm sure no one else in the world guessed she was Jacob's mother. Say wha?? Another baby? This has to be smoke monster baby, yes?! Smoke monster and Jacob are twins!!! "It's another boy. He's made of smoke." Damn those babies are cute. Even if one of them is evil. I have evil baby fever. Oh by the way, I don't like to read about Lost theories because they confuse the issue for me, but I do remember reading one thing a while ago about how Jacob and Smoke Monster might be brothers so don't be all like, "Duh everyone knows these are the famous Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum brothers from biblical times!" cuz I'll punch you.

- Oh what a huge surprise Allison Janney turned out to be a kidnapping psycho. I must say, Allison Janney is the shit as far as actresses go so this is fantabulous casting. Well done, Lost!

- Aw, young Jacob and Smoke Monster are cute playing Mancala. I like how they even got a blonde and a brunette. One question: why does the brunette have to be evil, huh, Lost? What exactly are you trying to say here!? By the way, young Jacob is who Fake Locke/Smoke Monster sees in the forest all the time, right?

- Speaking of, that kid looks exactly like old Jacob. Unreal.

- Holy crap I am terrified of Allison Janney. By the way, she totally loves Smoke Monster the best. He's her favorite.

- How does she know they'll live forever? Who is she dammit?

- Ah! Natives! I am so scared of natives.

- Okay I actually kind of love Smoke Monster, too. I am already angry on his behalf for whatever happens to him that turns him into a meanie shapeshifter.

- It would be pretty awesome if at the end of Lost, the two brothers realized that blood is thicker than water and made up and that's how it all ended. How angry would everyone in the world be except me?

- Magic tunnel of light! It's our time down here, Goonies! It's our time down here.

- Okay so the candidate is the person who will protect the light on the island. But I'm going to be honest-I’m not entirely clear on what the fuck the light is. Is it eternal life? Also let's think back here, no one besides Whidmore and Dharma have actually come to the island willingly. Jacob brings them there. She's all like, "So many people are going to come here to try and take it." Really? It seems like so many people are coming there and dying not knowing why they're on the island in the first place.

- Mancala! Uh oh-one day Jacob will make up his own game. I think we all know what that is. "Touch People Inappropriately and Bring Them to the Island" game. It's more fun than Scattergories!

- These kids have Claire hair.

- How come Jacob can't see dead people?

- Adolescence is so hard. Even when you're made of vapor and have been granted eternal life. Are you there, God? It's me, Smoke Monster.

- Quit being a pussy, Jacob! Go see the other side of the island, you mama's boy.

- Man I knew I'd end up feeling bad for Smoke Monster. Imagine finding out at 13 that your whole life's a lie then your twin brother punches you in the face 1700 times (sidenote: alarming). No wonder he's spent eternity trying to get off the island.

- Why is she convinced those people are bad? Does she just hate people in general? "Am I good, mother?" Uck-come on, Jacob! Grow a pair! Uh-oh. He totally called out Allison Janney for liking Smoke Monster better. This is so unfair. He totally has to be the kid who stays and does what his crazy mom says to make her happy because his brother rebelled. I know real siblings like this. It sucks being the one who stays behind. Poor Jacob.

- Grown up Jacob. Who might actually be related to the younger Jacob in real life. Oh, Jacob-always seeking mother's approval. Never quite getting what you need from her.

- I like Jacob and his brother getting along. And I totally feel for both brothers-one wanting desperately to see what else is out there and one not wanting to leave the only home he's ever known.

- Allison Janney's hair is…completely off the reservation.

- Oh and this is shocking-Jacob's a tattletale. "Mommy, Smokey's leaving the island!"

- Oh God she has the crazy eyes again. What's she going to do? I'm scared. Is she going to turn Smoke Monster into an actual smoke monster now?

- Donkey wheel explanation that doesn't really make sense? Check!

- Oh God here we go. She's going to kill him, turn him into smoke. It's the great smoke out.

- As Allison Janney was explaining how Jacob is now the protector of Marsellus Wallace's soul, MY DVR CUT OUT.

- Jacob has awesome pouty little kid face. "I don't want to protect this place." "I don't care!" Awesome! I do feel so bad for him. He lived his entire life never having any say in it.

- Allison Janney killed all of Smoke Monster's friends. God how many massacres have there been on this island? I feel really bad for Smokey. Also I am terrified cuz he is piiiiissed.

- Jacob's like, "I'll see you back home." Allison Janney's like, "Yeah. Don't count on it."

- AH! Stabby McStabberson!! Also: gross.

- Jacob's all, "You killed my mommy!" Into the vaginal tunnel of light! Aaaand…a smoke monster is born.

- Okay so I realize that both Jacob and Smokey are responsible for the deaths of a lot of my Losties, but, um, this is really sad. I feel so bad for both brothers. Ugh. Dammit, Lost.

- So the mother and Smokey's bodies are "Adam & Eve"-the corpses our Losties found in the cave? Yes! I am awesome.

- SHIRTLESS, SHORN JACK!!! More of this please!! Oh and they gave me more. Mmmm…

- Okay that scene is from like season 1 or something, right? Do you think the writers knew at the time what they were doing? Or do you think they wrote this later part of the story to match what happened in season 1? Cuz if they knew back then what they were going to do 5 seasons later…that's pretty bad ass.

Now is the time when you comment and tell me what is going on and what I missed. I am surprisingly dense so have at it. Also feel free to post any stills of shirtless Jack.