I watch too much TV

Oh, you guys. So so much TV to talk about and that's even before we get to "Lost".

"Gossip Girl" - Okay who watches this show? I do because it's trashy fun. But let me just say this: Serena is a C-U-Next-Tuesday, and I do not use that term unless absolutely necessary. Blair, on the other hand, is delicious. And Nate is hot and dumb and has chronic party voice.

"Grey's Anatomy" - Did anyone watch the season finale tonight? Um, what. the. fuck. No. Just no. That was absolutely terrible. It was completely brutal. Completely unnecessary. Not that I don't expect melodrama from that show because I do, but COME ON. Ugh. It's too bad, too, because I thought this season had recaptured some of the fun of the first season. And then this finale. Yuck. Done with this show. Right now my sister is like, "Wait-you still watch Grey's?"

"Supernatural" - On the contrary, this season finale was almost sheer perfection. This show continues to be one of the most well written, well acted, consistently entertaining shows on television. Plus, Jensen Ackles is painfully hot. Painfully.

"Friday Night Lights" - You guys, I can't believe I forgot to write about this 2 weeks ago when it came back to NBC. For those of you who have DirecTV, you've seen this season already (no spoilers!). For those of us who prefer to have TV that works when it rains (burn!), the greatness just started. And I mean greatness. For those of you not watching this show, at the risk of sounding like a broken record: WHY AREN'T YOU WATCHING THIS SHOW!? It is hands down the greatest show on television. And the first 2 episodes of season 4 do not disappoint. It's absolutely lovely and perfect. This show can introduce a new character in a minute long scene and by the end of ONE minute, I am completely invested in this character's life. How do they do that? (Luke, anyone who saw last week's episode? In love with him after 1 minute.) I love you, FNL. I love you, Taylor Kitsch. No for real, I love you. Call me. Also, I know that Zach Gilford is supposed to give off the brother vibe, but I have dirty thoughts about him. And sigh...Coach Taylor. Oh sorry-what happened? I just blacked out. Guys and ladies who like ladies, there are also hot chicks. Come on watch this show!

"Lost" - How is it possible this is the second to last episode of Lost ever? I still remember watching episode one 6 years ago and thinking, "Oh man. This is going to be one crazy ride." And it has been for real. Despite my disappointment in this last season, Lost rules. What the hell show am I going to recap after Sunday? Maybe there will be an awesome new show for us to watch/freak out about. Even if there is, I think we can all agree the WTF factor will never reach Lost levels.

So let's get to it. I feel like tonight was about checking things off a list before we get to the grand finale.

- Oh great the scenes from two weeks ago. Previously on Lost, everyone you love died. Isn't this show fun?

- Ok for real how come Sideways Jack keeps bleeding at the neck. I was going to say something about how he should be acting more worried about this, but then I thought about the number of times a day I notice some place on my body bleeding or bruised and have no recollection of how it happened and realized it wouldn't be a big deal for me either. Maybe it should be. Maybe it's because stuff is happening to me in an alternate reality somewhere. Sideways Sarah is definitely on an island tripping over rocks and fighting mosquitoes. And by "fighting" I mean "whining about".

- Yay Claire bonding with Jack and his son! And we all agree Jack's ex-wife will be Juliet, right?

- Ooh Desmond with an American accent. Still hot. But weirding me out.

- Oh Jack's sewing Kate up just like she did for him in the first episode. Full circle! Kate seems to be the only person who remembers Jin and Sun have a baby. Because Jin and Sun definitely did not remember. (Love you, Jin and Sun)

- We have to kill Locke. Dun-dun-duuun. Thanks, Kate. This is where my mom says, "No shit, Sherlock."

- Sawyer is scanning the ocean. Probably looking for Lapidus-I mean let's be honest. It's what I would be doing.

- OMG is Desmond going to run over Locke again? Cuz I don't want to watch that. Oh no apparently he's just going to kick Ben's ass. In both realities.

- I love how in sideways reality Ben is Locke's protector. Irony! I get it!

- Miles! You're alive! "Well I lived in these houses 30 years before you did. Otherwise known as last week." Holy Christ I missed Miles.

- Wait so are we still trying to blow up the plane then? I thought we had abandoned that idea. Dammit I can't keep up with the various modes of transportation and which ones we want to destroy.

- Oh boy they're at the Dharma camp. Site of a million massacres. Miles' dead person sensor is going cah-razy. Whoa-how does Richard Alpert know it's Alex talking to Miles? Oh he buried her. This show is full of laughs.

- Ben's closet is organized exactly how they organize closets when they stage houses on my favorite HGTV shows. He would probably have good luck selling this place.

- Mah! Widmore and Ben! Face to face! Reunited and it feels so good. By the way I just realized I've been spelling Widmore wrong. He's totally going to put me in an electromagnetic field.

- Wait did Jacob really visit Widmore? Did we see that? Ah can't remember! Someone help! Also maybe Whidmore should stay and protect "the light" so then my Losties can get the hell home.

- Ben is a doctor in sideways reality? I like how the school nurse was just so not impressed by that fact.

- Man even sideways Ben is ridiculously creepy. "He said he wants you to let go. I am crazy and will eat the heart straight out of your chest."

- Can I take a moment here and just say that watching guys put on ties is way hot. This post is boy-crazy.

- God for real, cop Sawyer. You are so effing hot.

- Okay Desmond is turning himself in for what he did to Locke and Ben. Why? To make them feel it? Oh. Sayid and Kate are in prison. It's a party!

- Back on the island. Oh boy Sawyer's feeling pretty guilty about the bomb. Haven't we all learned we should be listening to Jack? It's okay, Sawyer. Jack's right-it's on Fake Locke. Not you.

- Young Jacob Who Looks Exactly Like Old Jacob. Why does he need the ashes? Am I supposed to know whose ashes these are? Because I don't remember.

- Mah! Old Jacob! You were just Lucifer on "Supernatural"! "We're very close to the end, Hugo." Those are comforting words.

- Okay for real I am terrified of Terry O'Quinn when he's on the island. In just ONE show he plays both vulnerable man with a kind heart and literally a heartless monster. He's brilliant.

- Holy crap Ben is totally going to stand up to Fake Locke! Is this it? Is Ben going to die? Oh my God now Richard's going to talk to him? Why don't you two make like Miles and get the hell out of there? Man. I forgot how hot Richard was. But he might be like 5'4". AHHHH!! SMOKE MONSTER!! NO!! RICHARD!! Ben's what-the-fuck-just-happened look is priceless.

- Is that? Did Richard just die? Seriously? That can't be his death scene. I won't have it.

- Oh nice it took Ben all of 3 milliseconds to agree to kill everyone.

- Sideways reality. Ah! Crazy Danielle! How come even though she's cleaned up she still kind of looks crazy? Are Danielle and Ben going to get it on? I am going to freak the fuck out. Seriously I'm going to freak the fuck out!! Also Ben actually started crying when Danielle told him that he's the closest thing Alex has ever had to a father. How does this psycho make me feel emotion in my heart?

- Back on the island. I hate seeing the protective caring Ben in one world and then back to this other world where he's a ruthless killer. It's hard. I honestly hoped Ben would end up being good. Ah throat cut open! Gross! Bye, Zoey. You were annoying.

- You know what, Fake Locke, if you kill Penny I will end you. I am not even kidding. Last resort for what? You know what I would probably do? Lean in real close to the Smoke Monster to whisper stuff in his ear. Ugh, Ben! You're the worst. Oh yeah I forgot Widmore killed Ben's daughter. Okay I guess Ben can be angry. But if he goes after Jack, I'll punch him in his beady eyes.

- Yes, Kate. Demand answers from Jacob. It's too bad nobody thought to do that earlier. They could've really saved themselves some trouble. And some Lapidus.

- Okay so duh we know one of them will have to protect the island. Is he going to tell us why Kate wasn't on the list?

- Back in sideways reality. Is Locke going to get the surgery? OMG I had to rewind when Locke asked Jack if that was his son in the picture because I thought it was a middle aged woman with a mom haircut. And we're back to Jack being the man of science and Locke being the man of faith. It's weird. But kind of cool. That is all I have to say about this scene.

- Jacob by the fire. Telling us stuff we already know. Come on. We just saw this episode last week. Okay here we go. He picked them all because they were all alone and looking for something. They need the island as much as it needs them. And Kate's crossed off because she's a mother. I can almost see the dry erase board in the writer's room with a list on it that says "Remaining unanswered questions", and the writers just checking them off while writing this scene. I like how Jacob's like, "You guys pick." And of course Jack volunteers immediately. Right there is where I wish Jacob would say, "Oh really? Wow if I had known it'd be that easy, I'd have ask you months ago!" Jack, as much as I don't want you to stay on the island alone, you were totally born to do this. You're right. From day one, you were the guy. You were the hero. It has to be you. Don't worry I will come to the island to live with you and make lots and lots of kids-or die trying.

- Sidenote: What the hell is up with the movie "Splice". Holy shit.

- So…no one's gonna say bye to Jack? Or, "Hey, thanks for sacrificing YOUR ENTIRE LIFE to save us all?"

- "Now you're like me." Does that mean Jack is immortal now? Cuz I am okay with a world in which Jack Shephard never dies. Also it's totally not fair that Jacob got eternal life by drinking wine, and Jack had to drink dirty river water. I'd be like, "Where's the Franzia?"

- Sideways reality. Ugh Ana Lucia. Dirty cop. She's the worst. Someone should shoot her in the stomach. You guys! That's mean!

- I like how Hurley knows everyone from island reality now. What's the plan, Desmond? Get everyone together at the concert and…? I have no idea, but I am freaking out for this in the finale.

- Back on the island. Desmond isn't in the well. Did Jack get him? And how is Desmond going to help him destroy the island? My brain hurts! Also didn't Fake Locke just promise the island to Ben? Whoops. Sorry, Ben. You just cannot trust smoke to keep its promises.

3 days until the finale. Oh my God!!