I will make out with all the New Kids simultaneously

The day of the concert, as I mentioned before, I worked from Diane's house because we were having a pre-party. Things you need for a New Kids on the Block Concert Pre-Party:

- New Kids music
- Old New Kids VHS tapes
- Champagne
- 10-15 women in their late twenties/early thirties who are acting like they are 12/13

Not only were there a bunch of us girls, but there were even 2 boys going with us. That's a switch from 1989. They kind of hung out on the outskirts of the pre-party. I don't think they wanted to get caught up in any violent frenzy should one break out. Probably a smart idea.

One of the guys was my friend, Paul, whose friends Leandra and Matt came from 3 hours away to go with us. Leandra is a graphic designer. She designed and had these made for us:



















If you can't read that it says "WE'RE LEGAL THIS TIME! NKOTB '88-'08"

Hey, Leandra, maybe you should be more awesome. The best is that she also made two in blue for the guys. Paul, of course, put his on immediately and with enthusiasm because that is just who he is. Matt reacted similarly by saying, "There is no way in hell I am wearing that."

Soon I was drunk with excitement and champagne, so it was time to go. Matt, still refusing to put on the t-shirt, walked out of the house in an effort to ignore his wife's pleas. We walked out to the car, and he was still hilariously and adamantly refusing. We met them at the arena, and as they walked up, you could see Matt in the distance. Wearing the shirt. Nicely done, Leandra. Nicely done.

The crowd at the concert was really diverse. And by diverse I mean 99% of the people there were me. It was like just being at a concert with 20,000 mes and some husbands thrown in. Our t-shirts were a big hit. We got so many compliments and laughs and were asked over and over again where we got them. There were lots of people "dressed up"-meaning wearing homemade or old NKOTB t-shirts or dressed in 80's clothes. To Meg's dismay, there were also a lot of girls with crimped hair. Ladies, it's okay as part of an 80's outfit (not according to Meg), but I don't think we've been given the okay to wear it as if it's in style, yet, k?

At this point, our giant group split up. We could only buy 6 tickets at a time, and some people wanted cheap seats (what?) so we split into 3 groups. Members of my group in the order we sat:

Suz
Kim + her unborn baby
Me
Diane
Meg
Lisa

The first thing our little group did was buy alcohol because we just wanted to drink at a New Kids concert. Especially Kim. She was like, "Get my unborn fetus alcohol right now." Then we found our seats. They were pretty good considering we were in a giant arena. We were in the lower level (not on the floor) and not close to the stage, but we were in the front row of the section. Meg said it would be a great spot for them to see us. Mkay, Meg.

Natasha Bedingfield was the opening act, and she was awesome. Really, really good. Her voice is so strong-even moreso live-and I was really happy to get to see her instead of Sweet Sensation who opened for the New Kids last time I saw them. The other good thing about Natasha was that she gave me something to focus on so that my growing excitement wouldn't cause me to explode into a million pieces which is what I felt like doing.

Then Natasha was done and the house lights turned off and we knew the New Kids were coming out and I peed. The opening started, and I remember thinking, 'Oh my God I might actually cry. Like I might be one of those women who goes to a concert and cries.' Diane took a video on her cell phone of the opening, but you can't hear anything except screaming. Mostly from me. Also I was gripping Kim's arm so hard, there's no way I didn't damage it somehow.

Then they came out, and I completely lost my mind. Lost. My. Mind. And the screaming. Oh the screaming. I remember 20 years ago going to their concerts and thinking, 'There is no way any concert will ever be louder than this.' This concert was. I swear to baby Jesus it was. The crowd was absolutely deafening. Paul and Matt later told us they were scared.

Say what you will about the New Kids music (we will come back to this in a second), but those guys know how to put on a show. Twenty years ago they went all out for their fans, and it was no different this time. The special effects were incredible, they interacted with the audience, they sounded great, they danced great and they are wicked, wicked hot. Maybe it's my age, but I swear they look better now even than they did back then.

Okay the music...I get why people might not like their old stuff. As much as it pains me, I get it. But their new CD is fan-flipping-tastic. I am obsessed. And here's the thing, we have made all our boys listen to it nonstop for the past month. Here are some of their reactions:

Drew: "Okay I will admit it: I really like this CD. I am a fan."
Tony, while in my car listening to some non-NKOTB song on my iPod: "Why aren't we listening to New Kids right now?"
Dan, after I jokingly said, "Don't you want a copy of this?": "...I mean...I'll take a copy."

Tony and Drew actually text each other lyrics from their songs. Yes, boys, I am outing you to the entire world. Deal with it. Their new style is very different and it's fun and will make you want to shake your booty. Also, to my ladies who already know all the new songs: how awesome is "Dirty Dancing"? SERIOUSLY.

I don't remember what order the songs were in or anything so here's a list of standout moments for me:

- They sang "The Right Stuff" as one of the first songs, and they did the same dance from the video. I turned to Diane and was like, "They're almost 40." And then we laughed really hard. Then I almost cried from how awesome it was.

- When Joey sang "Please Don't Go Girl", at one point he dropped to his knees in like a desperate, pleading type move and I swear my ovaries shook.

- At our pre-party when we were watching the NKOTB videos, one of the clips was of Jordan alone on the stage in black pants and a white button down shirt that was completely open standing in front of a giant blowing fan. It was from the "Step by Step" tour, and I vividly remember that moment from when I went to that concert back in the early 90s. Because hot damn, Jordan. He was singing "Baby, I Believe in You" but really he just made me believe in him. We all joked around like, "What if he did that again? Oh my gawd that would be hilarious." Then at the concert, he did. And I received this text from Danielle: "I just sharted". Didn't we all, Danielle. Didn't we all.

- They came down to our end and sang a couple songs on a rotating stage right in front us. It was AMAZING. They sang "2 in the Morning" and "Dirty Dancing" which are two of my favorite songs on the new album, and I, of course, could barely contain myself. None of us could. Kim yelled out, "I want to touch you!"

- They played "Games" which surprised me and Diane. It wasn't one of their biggest hits, although it was with the Okay Seriously sisters. Obviously we know every word of the rap and were just praying Donnie would do it. Then he did, and I don't know if I have words to explain what happened to us. It's like we left our bodies completely. I was screaming the rap so loud, I thought I might have a brain aneurysm. Seriously. When it was over, Kim looked at us and said, "Nice job, Seriously sisters. Are you okay?" Then I was like, "I think I just blacked out." And Kim said, "Yeah I'm pretty sure you did. Try not to fall over the railing."

- They kept telling us that they couldn't believe how loud we were. That we were louder than any arena they had been to yet-including Boston. Obviously we assumed they said this at every concert, but then our friend Olympia, after the awesomeness of our concert, bought last minute tickets to the Chicago show the next night and said they didn't say that there. We are awesome. Cleveland is awesome! Donnie said he was going to move here and Kim yelled out, "I have a guest room!" Awesome.

- Jordan came out and performed his song from his solo album years ago. I think it's called "Give It To You". Then Joey came out and sang "Stay the Same" off of his solo album. Donnie came out and sang "Cover Girl" during which I cursed all the female dancers on stage and yelled things like, "Get off of him! Your services aren't necessary here!" because I am that girl. Then obviously since Danny and Jon don't really sing solos, they came out and did some bit where a) Danny breakdanced and b) Jon had a video camera. First of all, Danny was for real breakdancing. Not like the kind of breakdancing I say I'm doing when really I'm just laying on the ground trying to do a somersault. He was awesome. And he is almost 40 and the father of 4 children. Holy crap. Second of all, Jon was pointing the camera at fans and they were showing them on the big screen. Obviously some of the camera shots were from other cameras around the arena, but whatever. This is what leads me into the greatest moment of the night...

- So they showed random shots of people on the jumbotron-including 3 guys who were in a loge with no women and who were dancing their asses off-and suddenly we saw 6 girls in a row wearing bright pink shirts. They were just staring at the screen. I thought, "Wow look-those girls have pink shirts, too." Then one of them started jumping up and down freaking out. Curiously, Meg did, too. Then one by one each girl realized they were on screen and began to freak out. Finally the last girl-the brunette who was staring at the screen like a total dumbass-caught on. And that is when I lost. my. shit. because if you haven't figured it out yet, it was us. WE WERE ON THE GODDAMN JUMBOTRON AT THE NEW KIDS CONCERT!! I honestly cannot believe how long it took me to realize it was me. I was just staring at myself like, "Huh that girl looks kind of familiar." The camera was on us for a long time. Probably just waiting for me to get it. And once I did...oh. my. God. I mean I just for real lost it. I was basically punching everyone around me. Screaming, jumping, pushing everyone, basically punching Kim in her unborn baby. Immediately we got some text messages:

From Jen: "I hate you!"
From Adrianne: "Bitches!"
From Steph after I wrote her and asked her if she saw that: "Saw what? I didn't see anything."

To all of you: I just want to say...EAT IT!!

The best part is that for the entire week before the concert, Meg was convinced we were either going to meet the New Kids or they were going to see us somehow. Christy didn't get a t-shirt and when Meg found out she said, in all seriousness, "How do you ever expect to get backstage then?" She was so sure we would somehow be seen by them that we all just stopped trying to convince her otherwise because it was pointless. Then when we were on the jumbotron, she was totally vindicated. Meg, how did you know? You are a genius.

While leaving the concert, people were actually hi-fiving us and saying, "We totally saw you guys on the jumbotron!" Yeah. We are famous.

We had planned on going out after the concert, but all of us decided there was no way anything we could possibly do would ever be even a third as awesome as the concert itself. So not wanting to be disappointed, we just went home. The next day, I was totally depressed that it was over. Jen spent all day in bed and Diane apologized to Drew for "being distant". Awesome. For the first 48 hours after the concert, we were literally unable to talk about anything else. At all. We went to play games at Aloyd's the next day, and I think everyone wanted to kill us because we couldn't hold a conversation about anything but the concert. Since then, I would say it dominates 75% of all conversations. I have no idea if it will ever subside. Every time the boys complain we tell them that this is our fantasty football because seriously from August to February THAT IS ALL WE EVER HEAR ABOUT EVER SO GUESS WHAT NOW YOU HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT THE NEW KIDS CONCERT BECAUSE PAYBACK'S A BITCH!!

Honestly it was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. I think even the best. I'm still riding high from it. I think what struck me most is how sincerely and genuinely grateful they seemed to be out there getting to do this again. They were truly touched to find out that 20 years later, we were all just waiting for them to come back and fill the void that remained when they left the first time.

New Kids, that was like the best night of my life. Thank you for coming back. I will seriously be loving you forever.

Quick update

Employment: I am still employed! We did lose one team member, and it is the balls. More layoffs will be happening today so today won't be fun either, but somehow I managed to dodge another bullet and have convinced the people around me that I am valuable to the company. If they only knew, right?

New Kids: Will be posted this morning.

You guys: Patiently waiting and still like me? Please?

Poop

Guys, I know you're mad at me, but the New Kids post is 90% done and will be-without a doubt-posted tonight. But work has been incredibly intense and stressful, and today they are letting people go and all I want to do is go under my covers and lay there for 24 hours and pretend like I am still 10 years old and my biggest worry is what I'm going to be for Halloween.

There's a small chance I come home without a job today. There's a big chance I don't lose my job, but I leave early and they realize I'm a total slacker and fire me anyway.

Everyone cross your fingers!

P.S. In the meantime, watch the latest trailer for "Twilight" and bask in its awesomeness. I literally cannot wait for this movie to come out.

Letters for Wednesday, October 15

Dear Readers,
Whoa-did I leave you hanging or what? What an ahole I am. I'm sorry I was all "oh my God New Kids concert!" and then just fell off the face of the Earth. The truth is I am still recovering. Actually the real truth is, I have hardly been home since then and have had no time to blog. I am currently writing my recap of the concert, but here is a quick one line recap to tease of what's to come:

Best night of my fucking life.

Yeah. F-bomb. What's up.

Dear Coldplay,
I'll be honest with you here. You have never really done much for me. I don't think you're horrible in any way nor do I hate your music. It's just that while some of your songs are okay, they don't awaken anything in me. In fact, it's quite the opposite: they totally put me to sleep. Sarah's tip for killing a party: put on Coldplay. Then...then you come out with "Viva la Vida", and it's not just an okay song or even a good song. It's a great song. Are you kidding me? All your songs should be like this. A+!

Dear Ryan Reynolds,
I read your post about why you're doing the NYC marathon, and I just want to say two things to you: 1 - Good luck. 2 - It physically pains me that I can't be married to you.

Dear car warranty,
Goodbye, my sweet.

















Dear peanut at the Browns game Monday night,
Holy shit, peanut. How big are you?























Dear me,
Why do you have old lady hands? This is depressing.

Dear Browns,
Hell. Effing. Yes. Are you kidding me!? The Superbowl champs!? 3 touchdowns!? On Monday Night Football!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!? Best game ever. The 2 point conversion "eff you" was just the icing on the cake. God I love you.

Dear Tara Reid,
No I'm sure you're not working now because of the strike (what strike?), but honestly-no need to come back. We are all holding down the fort without you so please take your time with your new lame-o, clearly drug-induced clothing line. It's just better this way, with you not here. Like I mean life is better.

D and I are hanging tough

I am currently at my sister's house working from here. She is, too. Why you ask? Number 1 -cuz it's fun. Number 2 - tonight is the New Kids concert, and we are having a pre-party here starting at 3pm. We will be listening to New Kids, watching New Kids, talking about New Kids...and drinking alcohol. Obviously.

I don't think I can tell you the emotions I'm feeling right now. It's been almost 20 years since I got to see them in concert and back then, it was what I lived for. Seriously. I can't even begin to tell you how happy it made me to get tickets to their concerts back then. And being able to just get a small piece of that feeling back this many years later-even if it's just nostalgic-is pretty great.

Oh who am I kidding-it's not nostalgia. I still effing love them and am going to scream my head off tonight because they are awesome. I hope they recognize me without my perm.

More details to follow.

P.S. Joey is hot.

My stock portfolio is really looking healthy right now

Our country is in the firm grasp of an economic crisis, and it is at times like these that I like to bury my head in the sand and pretend it's not happening. Join me, won't you? I mean my friend Sudha said he was going to fix it anyway so it should be on the upswing pretty soon.

I found some random pictures that I would like to share with you while you forget about your retirement fund that's currently wasting away to nothing.

- In March, when we went to Holiday Valley I told you I needed a picture from Diane to explain what Kevin did while we were on the trip. I have the picture, people! So the house we stay at is up on a hill. It's usually best to take SUVs there because they can drive up the driveway without issue. Sunday as we were leaving to go home (with our annual stop at Bob Evans along the way), Kevin and Kim left first in their car. Meg, Diane and I followed next and then the boys-Drew, Tony and Aaron-followed us.

As Meg, D and I approached the bottom of the driveway we saw Kim and Kevin waiting for us on the side of the road. But something was off. The three of us stared at them in silence for a moment before Meg said, "Are they like off the side of the road in that ditch?" And I said, "No no-they're just pulled over waiting for us." More silence. Then Diane, "They seem like really tilted, don't they?" More confused staring. Then all three of us at the same time, "Holy shit they are totally stuck in that ditch."

Have a look-see:



















You can't even tell completely from this picture, but that car is totally on its side, leaning against the snowbank on the passenger side. Kim had to crawl up and out the driver's side door. Apparently there is road and then nothing. No shoulder. Just a few foot drop. Awesome.

Hijinx ensued with the boys pushing and Kevin revving and lots of laughing and yelling with no success. I was sad because I really wanted them to come to Bob Evans with us. I am always looking at what's important, you guys. The entire time the boys were strategizing about how to fix it, Meg was quietly stating her idea. None of them would listen. After about a half hour, D and I finally said, "Hey-listen to Meg dammit." They did. It worked. Kevin's car was freed. Women rule. Not surprisingly there was some tire axel damage. But at least we had Bob Evans.

- Here is a picture of a catfish in ice:


















I have no story for this.

- For the Browns home opener, we went to Meg's new apartment for a party. As you know, parties at Meg's have names: Cinco de Mego, Kegs and Eggs at Meg's. This party was called Leggo My Meggo. We made waffles and had a waffle bar. And we drank a lot of mimosas. A lot.

If anyone else had thrown this party, it would've been frozen waffles and syrup. But this was Meg's party, and Meg doesn't half-ass anything. She made 3 kinds of waffles and the topping bar-oh my God the topping bar. Take a look at this:



















Syrup; walnuts; chocolate chips; peanut butter; whipped cream; blueberry, cherry, strawberry and peach topping, 2 kinds of jam and powdered sugar. Greatest. Breakfast. Ever.

After the party, we went to Bob Golic's new sports bar. It had just opened and needed some work, but we did get to see Bob Golic and yell out references to "Saved by the Bell: The College Years". Also I got a stamp on my hand that says "Golic's". I still haven't washed it off.

- Here is a close up of the sombrero I put on while out drinking with coworkers at a Mexican restaurant and after having tequila for the first time in 13 years:
















Ten minutes later, they bought me maracas and then I carried them around in my cleavage when I wasn't dancing with them to try and entice the opposite sex*.

*Note: this doesn't work.

Candygram

1 - "The Office" starts tonight. Remember when Ryan got arrested and Oscar goes, "I saw the video. I think his biggest offense is the beard." Awesome! I love you, Office!

2 - This is not good. Really, really not good. They are literally evolving just to get to me. Pretty soon there will be nowhere I can hide. I'm moving to outer space like that weird billionaire dude in "Contact".

Krusty's 2008

First: Is it too late in the season to wear white capris? I am obviously a fashion maven as evidenced by the fact that I wear $10 slip on tennis shoes almost everywhere I go, but despite my expertise, I have no idea if this is okay or not after Labor Day. Help me, Internet.

Second: Update on skee ball: We totally won our match last week. Christy added up the scores wrong. Don't worry-she is not a math teacher or anything. Just a 30-something year old woman who can't perform basic addition. No reason to be alarmed.

Third: Krusty's. Ahh...even the name makes me giddy.

This year Krusty's was-shockingly-completely effing awesome. As usual, it was the best day of my life. We recruited a ton more people to come with us. There were about 30 of us total, most of us drunks, all of us too sensitive to sun.

We started off drinking slowly because it's a marathon not a sprint, you guys, but I was drunk maybe 2 hours into it. Obviously. Because the drinks were going down smooth, and I was so excited to be there I could hardly contain myself. Some of us played volleyball. Not me, of course, because I am allergic to it. Diane tried not to play because she has bad ankles, but since she is part male, she couldn't stand it anymore so she went in and was basically better than everyone.

Two guys walked up and started talking to those of us ladies who were watching the game, and one of them wanted to play. We hung out with the other one who guessed our names. He guessed I was Gina. I told him he was right. Then I guessed he was Neil. I don't think he liked me very much after that. Let me just put this out there: I like the name Neil. I said that was his name because he had told us he liked Neil Diamond. I don't know what he was so upset about. This reminds me of this one time when I got drunk at happy hour and told this guy from work that he looked like someone who would wear a fanny pack. He hasn't spoken to me since. That was like 5 years ago. To be fair, he had just totally screwed over my friend Kim who he was dating. It was not an unprovoked FPA (Fanny Pack Attack).

Anywho, after this point, all the events of the day seem to run together. I have no real sense of "chronological order". Here's what I remember:

- Steph's sisters were in town and they brought a hammock. That is just awesome.

- Our friend had a beer pong table and there was a guy we didn't know playing on it and he keep oiling up his chest. Seriously. He rolled his tank top up to above his man boobs and left it there. Then he would periodically oil his chest. None of us could believe what we were seeing. Listen up, male readers: a) don't spend 3 hours at a stranger's beer pong table unless you are invited, b) do not roll up your tank top over your man boobs-tank top on or off, people (preferably never put on in the first place-it's a tank top and you are male but it was really hot so I'll allow it) and c) the only reason you should be putting oil on your chest ever is because you're either doing it for a Halloween costume or you are a stripper at Thunder Down Under in Las Vegas. Even then I will make fun of you, but at least it'd be part of your job description.

- I totally told the guys I would play in the cornhole tournament with them then I didn't. I remember saying, "Yeah I'll be right there!" then an hour later they came back, and I was like, "Hey where have you guys been?" I'm a pretty reliable teammate.

- I made our friend Steve's brother do gymnastics. It's okay because he is a gymnast. It's not okay because he was drunk, and I was only about the 17th person to ask him to do it. Whatever-he still did it because I am extremely persuasive (annoying).

- We tried to convince a guy who was with us to swim to the break wall and back. I'm not exaggerating-the break wall was easily 3 football fields away. We were like, "Dude, it's not even that far. You could be done in 10 minutes, easy." Then I told him I was a licensed lifeguard. He goes, "Really?" And I said, "Well by 'licensed' I mean I used to watch "Baywatch" a lot, and if I see you're in trouble I'll totally yell to those people on the jet skis out there to go help you." Shockingly, he did not feel confident enough in my abilities to save him from drowning to try it.

- The only thing that kind of annoyed us about Krusty's this year was that they had 2 bands: one reggae and one 80's/90's cover band. The 80's/90's cover band played first so by the time we were all drunk and ready to dance (aka, embarrass ourselves and our family names), the reggae band was playing. I like reggae music, but I cannot do the Fake Run to it. It's too slow. So Gordo and I decided we were going to do something about it, and we went up to the stage to yell at the band. And I have to say I think the band was really intimidated by us because as soon as we got up there we started dancing. Mission: Failed. Note to everyone who needs people to take charge and get things done: Gordo and I are not those people.

Eventually Krusty's came to end. And as usual I pouted like a little baby. I hate when it's over, you guys! As is tradition, we went to the after party at the bar where I walked in and announced to my friends, "I'm going to get so drunk that you'll either have to carry me home or dial 911!" Classy lady!

I broke my "no shots except at weddings rule" and made lots of people do lots of shots with me. The details of the bar get even fuzzier, but here is what I know:

- We were throwing popcorn at people. And I was throwing it on the ground while doing my impression of The Ground Round. You can totally throw your popcorn on the ground there, you guys.

- Ty took his pants off. Completely off. All layers. I heard my friend Mike yell, "Ty oh my God!" and I looked up and Ty was standing at the bar naked from the waist down. How in the world did they not kick us out after that?

- Our friend Sean passed out on a couch there, and Renee and I danced on him. Literally. Then I fell into his lap, and he didn't even wake up. I love that guy.

- I was wearing skorts. Here is the problem: Sarah + skorts + alcohol = Sarah lifting the skirt part of her skorts to show everyone the shorts underneath. This has happened time and time again-once at a wedding (sorry, Becky and Steve)*. Well at the bar, I pulled up my skirt and left it there. Like I walked around the bar like that. Skirt up facing the sky, shorts showing. When I showed Matt, he immediately poured popcorn down my skirt. So I was literally a human popcorn container. I showed Sharda what Matt had done, and without a word she reached down there and grabbed a handful of popcorn and shoved it in her mouth. You see, this is why I end up doing shit like pulling my skorts up. I don't have friends who discourage it. All they do is make it funnier.

I have no real recollection of leaving. I remember hugging a guy I went to high school with, him sticking his tongue in my mouth and then grabbing a cab. Thanks to my sister and Drew for getting me to their house safe and sound. And for not really letting me drink so much they had to call 911.

Thanks to Krusty's for being the greatest day of my life. I can't believe it's over. The good news is that I waited so long to post this, I only have like 10 months to wait till the next one. See you in 2009, best friend ever!!!

*Do not berate me for wearing skorts at a wedding. It was a picnic reception at a park. The bride was wearing shorts. I'm not some like white trash ho who shows up to a wedding in khaki skorts, a tube top and a banana clip. I save that outfit for first dates.

Skee ball wizard

Several things to address:

1. Yes I am going to post about Krusty's and the wedding. I really, really am. In fact I have drafts written up already. I know-how effing dorky am I that I sometimes write up drafts? Pretty dorky. But that's how I have to roll. I have very few good brain cells left so my memory fails me more often than not. Seriously, though, I promise. I'm making a solemn vow right here, right now: next week you will hear about both of these. If I don't, there are people here who will have my head (Sharda) so it will happen.

2. The day I posted about the Twilight series, I finished. I read all 4 books in 12 days. That is effed up, you guys. You know what else is effed up? Now I am currently trying to figure out when it's appropriate to start reading them again. Also to those who read book four and didn't like it: What gives? I don't get all the negative reactions. I thought it was amazing and fantastic and I screamed and cried and clapped through the whole thing. On an unrelated note: while Edward is obviously the perfect choice for Bella hands down no question, does anyone else think Jacob sounds wicked effing hot?

3. Skee ball league is amazing. Is skee ball one word or two? I always write it as two and since this is my blog I declare it two words. The team we played against, Ballz In Your Mouth, was obviously 3 guys and they were incredibly nice and fun. Each person on the team plays 10 games so that's 60 games of skee ball. Eighteen games in, this happened:














Christy broke our skee ball machine. I mean maybe not for real but it mysteriously stopped working while she was playing. That's all I'm saying. We only lost by 20 points, but our team had the high score for the whole thing: 320. Oh by the way, that was me. Boo-ya. But I really shouldn't brag because other than that game, I was horrible. I am usually awesome at skee ball, but I am sick so I'm blaming it on that and all the medicine I was on. Incidentally, Mon suggested I should be team leader since I played even while sick. I appreciate the sentiment, Mon, but really I should never be in charge of anything. Nothing good comes from that. Remember when I was in charge of steering when Meg and I were kayaking?

Steph, by the way, is some sort of skee ball savant. Seriously it's really weird. She's a skee ball freak. She says it's because she's from Sandusky which is home to the amusement park, Cedar Point, and is therefore essentially a carnie.

All in all, skee ball league is the best thing ever and everyone should join it. Also Steph's new nickname is Carnie.

P.S. They make you sign a waiver in case you get hurt. I was making fun of it so much and then I started thinking about it: if anyone was to get hurt while playing skee ball, who would it be? Me. Absolutely. Now I'm just waiting to see how it will happen. I'll keep you posted.

I want my mommy

So I am sick and have done nothing this week except fake my way through work and sleep and whine like a baby. But no matter how sick I am, nothing is going to keep me from what we are doing tonight. Steph, Christy and I have our first game...in our Skee ball bar league. Yes. That's right. Steph signed us up for a Skee ball league. I am so excited I can't even explain it to you. Our whole thought process was that a) Skee ball is awesome, b) we think a Skee ball league is probably full of cool people that we want to meet and c) it's at a bar. Our team name is Ball Busters. Steph was very hesitant naming ourselves something so un-classy because you know how Steph is the picture of propriety (see: every single post I have ever posted about Steph), but we are playing a team called Ballz In Your Mouth. I just want to say that I am very excited to meet these people because it's like they said, "What's the grossest thing we could name ourselves using the word 'balls'?" then they just went for it-no apologies. Then they added a 'z' to 'balls'. Awesome. So I will let you all know how it goes. Steph and Christy, I will try not to sneeze all over you. Actually that goes for everyone out there. I will try to keep my mucus-sharing at a minimum instead of how I usually just spread it all around.

P.S. Everyone pray for Nate Dogg. How is he possibly going to regulate in this condition?