Thursday, March 20, 2008

Ski much?

So I'm not on vacation or anything. I've just been working my ass off late every night, and I think I'm getting sick. That is why I have been neglecting you hot pieces. So what I will do is tell you what I did at Holiday Valley a couple weeks ago.

We went on our annual ski trip which, by the way, was awesome. Lots of drinking, playing games, hot tub time and eating Cheez-its. Also I found out that I'm not that good at Beer Pong. I have never played it before. I know that's crazy, but hear me out-I hate beer. So what we did was anytime it was my turn to drink, I drank my choice of alcohol, and Tony drank my share of the beer. It's good to have a friend like Tony. Also cuz he wears his underwear in the hot tub and his job is so top secret that he can't even tell us exactly what he does. Seriously sometimes you ask him questions, and he actually has to answer, "I can't tell you that." Holy eff. No wonder he's a dynamo with the ladies. Top secret job? Hot!

Saturday during the day we went skiing. Getting ready for skiing is the biggest pain in the ass ever. But actually skiing is really fun. Especially when you're with all your friends watching each other fall.

Okay some background...

1. I have been skiing since I was about 11. My dad was adamant about his girls learning how to ski. Once when I was about 13 or 14, we were getting off the ski lift. I stood up out of the chair and immediately fell over on my stomach. I lifted my head up to look at my dad only the guy running the lift never stopped it so the next chair came and smacked me on the back of the head. I lifted my head up again-surely the lift guy had stopped the lift now, right? Wrong. Aaaand SMACK! Finally my dad screamed at me, "Keep your fucking head down!" and then turned to the lift guy and said, "Stop the fucking lift!" So ever since then I get really anxious when I'm on the chair lift and it gets close to the time when I have to get off.

2. All that day I made sure to tell everyone the story about how one time Diane was skiing and started laughing so hard she peed her pants. I told it over and over and mercilessly made fun of her.

With that, I will tell you the following. Everything was going fine. I was getting on and off the lift all day without incident. Then on one of our last runs of the day, I stood up out of the chair and immediately fell back into it. At this point I started panicking because I was still in the chair, and it was moving and it was starting to turn back down the mountain. I had visions of me riding the chair lift all the way back down to the bottom like in Bridget Jones' Diary 2. So I did the only thing I could think to do. I jumped. I was minimum 6-8 feet in the air. When I landed I immediately fell, but I think it's because I was laughing so hard. All of a sudden Diane was angrily yelling at me, "Sarah! Get up! They stopped the lift!" She was so embarassed by her clumsy older sister. So I turned around and waved at the lift guy, "Go ahead and start it! I'm okay!" Next thing I knew, the lift guy was over by me. He came up behind me, put his arms underneath my arms and literally lifted me up to standing position. I was like, "Oh my God I'm so sorry you had to do that." He was very sweet and nice and said, "Oh it's okay. It's my job." But still. You guys, I almost rode the lift all the way down the mountain, I jumped off it and then a poor high school/college age kid had to pick me up. That is horrible. And then in a karmic twist, I was laughing so hard I peed my pants a little bit.

So does a(nother) story about me being a jackass which ends in me peeing my pants make up for me being a bad blogger? If not (and even if it does), tomorrow I will tell you why Kevin was a jackass on the same trip. It was awesome.


Anonymous said...

Oh my god! I avoid the ski trip every year because I'm not interested in Tony in underwear (let's be honest, we've all seen him in less) but had I know you fall down and pee yourself, I would have totally signed on. This is amazing! -Steph

matt said...

First and foremost, falling is not always funny. Even if your friends still laugh and take videos on their cell phone of you, the ski patrol, their tobagan and the group of kids all gawking at you. Secondly, that story of you falling is absolutely hilarious. Although I do wish that you would have ridden the lift back down. Had I been there and that would have happened it would have been the most amazing skiing moment of my life. And you would have known that as I skied underneath you all the way back down laughing.

Tracy Lynn said...

Dude. I almost peed myself by the end of the post. Very nice.

Lollie said...

I laughed out loud at the peeing part so in my book you are an awesome blogger.

Anonymous said...

Oh goodness.. I've never been skiing but the ski lift part FREAKS me out so your story about your dad and you're first time on the lift? Hi-La-RIOUS. Thanks for the laughs so early in the morning.

Anonymous said...

So it's taken me almost a month of reading to get through every single post you've ever made (I'm not slow, I just don't get a lot of downtime at work to slack. geesh).
This post may be in my top 20. For real. I laughed so hard chocolate milk came out of my nose. I don't know how I'll explain the strange chocolate milk stain on my purple sweater.
I think you may be my American doppleganger...but taller..and younger..and able to hold more alcohol. I heart you! (in a totally hetero, non-creepy internet way!)