Boston is wicked awesome

I'm back from Beantown. On the way home I sat next to these two tiny 700 year old Chinese ladies who were trying to get to Houston but ended up in Boston. They had a niece with them who barely spoke English, but I was able to decipher that much. I'm sorry to Tom, who I totally forgot was in Boston, and AG, who I didn't realize was that close to Boston, because I think the first annual Eastern Seaboard blog reunion would've been kickass. Next time I'm there, we're gonna party like it's 1999. Only it'll be way cooler than 1999.

I returned home to an evite from Steph for the next holiday tree decorating party. Here is the text from the invite*:

O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
Thy leaves are so ever changing;
O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
Thy leaves are so ever changing;
Not only dressed when summer's here,
But also when an occasion calls for beer.
O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
Thy leaves are so ever changing!

O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me;
O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me;
How often has the Holiday tree
Afforded the internet's greatest glee!
O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
Much pleasure thou can'st give me.

O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
Thy pee-pee ornaments so tacky!
O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
Thy pee-pee ornaments so tacky!
From base to summit, gay and bright,
There's only splendor for the sight.
O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
Thy pee-pee ornaments so tacky!

O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
How richly Woodford had decked thee!
O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
How richly Woodford had decked thee!
But now it's time for Lake Ave to be,
the place to house the brand new tree.
O Holiday Tree! O Holiday Tree!
How richly we will deck thee!

Seriously I cannot wait to resurrect the holiday tree.

*Original poetry by Steph. Who rules.

Boston Pubic-I mean Public. You guys are gross.

So I'm in Boston. I'm here visiting my alma mater, Harvard. It's been a while since I've been in school, but does "alma mater" still mean "school that would rather shut down operations than accept me as a student"? Actually I have a work conference starting tomorrow. I came in early this morning so I could explore the city since I've never been here before. The first place I went was the Ted Williams Tunnel since that's currently the safest place on Earth. By the way-just a sidebar-who is this guy kidding? Does he really think he shouldn't be demoted?

Anyway, despite my hatred for the Boston Red Sox, this is a great city. It's so pretty and the buildings are neat, and it has so much history. Well, I mean I didn't actually experience any of the history, but didn't Paul Revere do something here once? Honestly, if I had more time I would do the Freedom Trail thing, but today my main focus was learning the layout of the city. And shopping. Here's the thing about traveling by yourself: on one hand it's awesome because you can do anything you want. On the other hand after a few hours of walking around the city all by yourself it really gets boring.

So far every single person I've met here has been really nice. Here are the people from Boston that I looked for but couldn't find:

Matt Damon
Ben Affleck
Dane Cook
New Kids on the Block
John Krasinski
Conan O'Brien

Where are you guys hiding?

Today I went to Quincy Market which was totally on Food Network a couple weeks ago. Then I went to Boston Common because there was a TV show called "Boston Common" on a few years ago that I used to like. Turns out it's just a big park. Then I walked all over the place and ended up on Newbury Street which is my favorite street in Boston I've decided. So many cute shops and restaurants. I stopped at one of them, and they gave me steak and mashed potatoes and wine, and all I had to do was give them money in return. Suckers! As I mentioned above, after about 5 hours of walking around the city by myself, I got bored. So I came back to my hotel room and watched "Stick It" which is a teen movie about high school gymnastics. For real. I remember when Steph, D and I saw the preview for it at another movie, I turned to them and said, "So right now I'm pretending like I would never go see that, but we're going, right?" It was no "American Anthem", but it was still good. Mitch Gaylord forever.

To the people of Boston: I don't know what the big deal is-none of you have any distinguishable accent from what I have seen so far. Just the same old way of pronouncing things.

To the people not of Boston: Holy shit, you guys. You should hear these people talk. It's just like the movies. I thought maybe in Hollywood they were exaggerating the accents, you know, for drama. No. That's how they really talk. The concierge guy was talking to me about what sites I should go see, and his accent was so thick I swear to God I almost started making out with him right there by the revolving door. Cute young guys with accents-my only weakness.

More highlights/observations:
- Remember when woodland creatures were scared of humans? Yeah they're not in Boston. I actually said "Excuse me" to a bird that's how close it was to me.
- The guy at the front desk loves me. His name is Francisco. Every time I see him I want to yell out, "Francisco! That's fun to say! Francisco…Franciscooo…"
- Ken Barlow, channel 4 news' chief meteorologist, said this today I swear to God, "People say, 'It's a dry heat.' Yeah well so is an oven, but you're not gonna go in there." I heart Ken Barlow
- Also on channel 4 news is a reporter named Joe Shortsleeve. That sounds like a name I would give to a guy at work who wears short sleeves year round.
- I'm not cool. We can all agree on that, right? Well today I saw a store called Johnny Cupcakes, and I was like, "Yes! Cupcakes!" I walked up there, and there were two girls with aprons standing outside. I walked inside, and there were no cupcakes. Only bakery display cases filled with clothes and underwear. I tried to play it off like I totally knew that's what I was going to find when I walked in there, but I don't know if the girls bought it. Especially when I said, "Are these panties low-fat?" So I looked it up, and I guess it's some hip new clothing store. Whatever. I may not be cool, but here's what I know: there was no one in the store. No one. All I'm saying, Johnny, is maybe you would make more money if you actually sold cupcakes.

P.S. I just saw a preview for "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip"-the new Matthew Perry show starting in the fall-and I just want to say: Awesome.

If you're lost you can look and you will find me

- I didn't post yesterday because I got a massage on Wednesday night. Basically I was a complete pile of mush-so relaxed I couldn't even move my fingers to type. I am not someone who gets massages often. In my lifetime I can count the number of massages I've had on one hand. But due to the many stresses of the past couple months, my back was stiff and sore to the point of me not being able to move. So I indulged myself. I have no idea what makes someone want to voluntarily rub a complete stranger's body with oil, but thank God those sicko people exist because this massage was the best. thing. ever. I am not kidding. It took all my remaining energy to not make out with the girl afterwards. Essential Elements, Clevelanders. Southland. Go there. Tell them I sent you.

- So Quietdrive, a band I am enjoying recently, has remade Cyndi Lauper's "Time After Time". Normally I would not tolerate a remake of my lovely Cyndi's amazing music. However, I love this song so much that it's almost like I really can't get upset about who's singing it as long as I'm listening to it. This is hands down one of the greatest songs of all time, and anyone who disagrees is a goddamn moron. If you go to Quietdrive's site they are streaming samples from their album, and you can hear "Time After Time". How awesome does it sound as a rock song? Also you should buy Quietdrive's CD.

- This is absolutely shocking, shocking news. I mean...Haley Joel Osment is 18? When did that happen? How is it possible he's old enough be considered a "former" child star? And old enough to begin the downward spiral just like those who came before him (i.e., the Coreys)? Before you know it our little boy will have his own E! True Hollywood Story. He's all growed up. Sniff.

- So people have been telling me I have to watch this World Series of Pop Culture on VH1. Tonight I finally remembered to. My resulting questions are as follows:

1. Why the hell aren't I on this effing show?

Seriously. I am AMAZING. I mean I don't want to brag, but I don't really have a choice. I am effing awesome at this show. I am so much better than (or at least as good as) the people on this show. Maybe I'm not on it because I lack the required number of annoying qualities. Seriously I wanted to pull a Poltergeist and go into my TV to slap the shit out of some of these people. So for the folks who watch it, was tonight's episode a typical one? Like were the questions on par with other episodes? Or was it easier? Because I'm telling you-I was impressive. I impressed myself. And Henry-who was so impressed he puked all over his bed. Talk about a prize. Who needs $250,000 when you can have dog puke to clean up? I put it in my trophy case. Next to my Pulitzer Prize. That I made myself. On my computer. Okay with Crayola Markers.

Yes I used to tape "General Hospital"

One of the boxes I found in Diane's attic while we were cleaning it out was a box of about 30 VHS tapes. D and I were really bad with VHS tapes back in the day. We would tape all kinds of junk and then not want to erase it so we'd keep every single tape. The net result is we have about 100 unlabeled VHS tapes that our parents made us take when they moved into their new house a few years ago. The problem is, mixed in amongst the crap are things we taped that we actually want to keep so we have to go through them. I got lucky and got the box with only 30 tapes. Diane has all the rest. Score.

Last night I decided I was sick of looking at the box sitting on my dining room table so I started going through them. All of them were taped when I was in college. About 20 of them were of "Friends" and the rest of Must See TV. There were a few "General Hospital" tapes, one "Party of Five"* and like 5 or 6 New Kids on the Block tapes (that were definitely taped before college but, sadly, were taken to college with me apparently). One of the tapes of "Friends" had an ad that said, "The man who brought you "ER" proudly introduces the next great American drama...'Trinity'". What? Does anybody remember this show? I don't think I've ever even heard of it. I'm just saying looking back, touting it as the next great American drama may have been a little overzealous.

One of the tapes I found really freaked me out. I put it in and found myself looking at a school classroom. It was like someone had set up a camera in the back of the room. A girl was standing up in front of the class giving a presentation. Only it wasn't a television show. It was real. I was extremely confused. At first I thought maybe we taped something off of public access television. You know how they are always showing weird local school events on those channels. I looked around for more clues. I didn't recognize the girl speaking, but there were 4 other students sitting up at the front of the class-facing it. They looked really bored. I went through them one by one. Three guys-none looked familiar. Then I got to the 4th girl. Hmm...she looked kind of familiar. It took me a couple minutes, but then I figured it out. It was me. Yes-it really did take me that long to recognize myself.

Horrified I watched each of the guys get up and speak and then I got up there. I was talking about marketing or employee workforce or something really boring, and let me just say that it turns out I'm not that great of a public speaker. Here's the thing-I have absolutely no recollection of this. I don't remember writing or giving the presentation. I don't remember any of the students. I had no idea what class it was. I didn't recognize the room. Literally it's like there is a piece of my brain missing, and this event in my life is being stored on that piece which is probably, I don't know, under the car seat because that's where everything is when you can't find it. Shouldn't I remember having to give a speech and being videotaped? Well I don't. It's like I was watching some other person up there. The only thing I remembered from that tape was that particular haircut because I liked it so much at the time and the skirt I was wearing. How the hell did I graduate from college? Man am I glad I slept with my professors now.

Has this happened to anyone else? Where you literally can't remember a whole chunk of time like that? It's kind of unsettling. Especially when alcohol was not involved.

*I watched this show the entire time it was on, and I just realized I never saw the series finale. Um...does anyone remember it? Can you fill me in? Also, where the hell is Neve Campbell? I mean did she just fall off the face of the earth or what?

Out of control

Oh my God I don't think this past weekend could have gotten any crazier. Let's see…

Times I left the house…1
Times I got out of my pajamas…0
Times the dog* looked at me like "God this is boring"…4700

I was sick. Again. I know it's shocking since I am the pillar of good health and wellness. But it's true. I contracted some effed up form of the flu and was stuck inside the house the entire weekend.

The only good thing about it is that I was able to do some soul searching. Here are the jaw-dropping revelations I made about myself:

I am anti-fevers. I've decided they completely suck, and I will no longer support their agenda. I know-it's a hard line to draw, but if I don't have my beliefs then I don't have anything.

I will make out with and marry Maxalt, my new migraine medicine. It is so damn good. I might pull a Matthew Perry and become addicted. I can't believe I just made fun of Matthew Perry-my lovely Chandler Bing. I'm sorry, Matthew/Chandler. But I mean seriously, you guys, that guy loves his prescription drugs.

I am a football movie whore. Seriously I love football movies so effing much it's not even funny. I have this problem where if I pass a channel that is playing "Friday Night Lights" I have to stop. I HAVE TO STOP. It's not an option for me. Mmm…football players. I loooove football players. My sister and I have always been suckers for football players. Oh and track stars-sorry, Drew. Go track!

I will watch VH1's "I Love the…" series any day of the week. This weekend it was "I Love the 70's Part 2". And it was amazing. Those shows are laugh out loud funny. It's nostalgia overload, and the people they get to do the commentary are perfect. I especially loved this guy-a 6'5" 300lb black man-freaking out about how much he loved the movie "Hair". When he admitted that he had the soundtrack you could hear the entire television crew laughing. Awesome stuff.

Yeah so that's pretty much all I learned about myself. Pretty deep stuff, huh? Give me a break-how deep can I go when all I did this weekend was feel like crap and drink Raspberry Diet Rite. Oh! Another revelation…

I love Raspberry Diet Rite. A lot.

*I didn't get a dog. I'm watching my parents' dog. He is awesome. And bored with me.

P.S. I don't want to get anyone's hopes up, but…let's just say there are currently some emails going around about planning our next holiday tree committee meeting. That's all I'm saying.

Thursday in the park

You may remember that last summer downtown Cleveland was showing movies outside. They are doing it again this year, and we went last night. The weather was perfect, and we only saw one crazy beard guy who ended up not really being that crazy. At least not outwardly crazy. His beard was weird, though, and he had a bright red nose. Honestly he looked like Mr. Tumnus from "The Chronicles of Narnia"-the half human, half fawn.

Last night's feature presentation was "Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit". Seriously. Ten minutes into it we were like, "What the hell are we watching right now?" But it ended up being kind of a cute movie. I imagine if you were a young British child, you would probably love it. I mean I don't particularly know what young British children enjoy having never been one myself. However, as a young American child I loved claymation so I'm making some assumptions here. Steph hated the movie. Then again Steph hates claymation (blasphemy).

They've added something new to the festivities down there. And that's modern dancing. Okay you guys know I have a deep love and appreciation for the arts, but I just cannot get behind modern dance. I can sway my body as if I am high, too, but that doesn't mean I'm a dancer. Modern dance is weird and really kind of pointless. I'm sorry, but it's true. Last night they had 3 girls there doing various dances around the park area. When I got there they were dancing with giant flags. Apparently I had just missed them dressed up like crows (damn). Luckily I didn't miss this:


















Those things were like 8 feet tall. The girls were inside, and their heads stopped about halfway up-that's how tall these things were. Also they were freaky as shit. They are essentially just giant mascots, and even my friends-who aren't afraid of mascots-were afraid of these things. Do I really need to elaborate on why modern dance is annoying? I don't think so. The highlight was when Kim and I saw a kid run up to two of them while they were dancing together. He yelled "Hi!", and as soon as they turned toward him, he ran away screaming. Incidentally that's what I did after I took this picture.

Pantalones

So I've lost a little weight recently. But not enough to go a full size down. So the result is that my pants are too big, yet it's too soon to buy the next size down. This is extremely frustrating. Not only that, but I saw myself in a window reflection today when I was walking in, and I look ridiculous. It didn't help that it was windy so all the extra fabric was ballooning up around me turning me into a human parachute. I don't know. Maybe it's not as bad as I think it is. What do you guys think?


















Sorry I forgot to mention that I was topless. This just turned into an Internet porn site. I hope the kiddies weren't around when you looked at this. Now go print this out and hang it on the ceiling above your bed like I know you want to. Perv.

Squirt's to blame for my drinking problem

On Friday my friend Squirt was in town. You'll remember I posted a picture of her rack on here back in January. Squirt and I have been friends since we were 11 and played in the same soccer league. Technically her name is Jenny, but I dubbed her Squirt in junior high and it stuck. She's not called Squirt for any reasons involving lack of bladder control or lack of control over any other bodily fluid, but rather because she was so small in junior high I used to carry her around in my pocket. Okay that's not entirely true, but our friend Jeff did used to palm her head and steer her around the hallways.

In case you ever meet Squirt, here are some vital stats you should know:

- Our biggest fight was in junior high over a boy named Adam. We both liked him, and we got into a yelling match at Squirt's house. What made this fight so pathetic is that Adam had absolutely no interest in either of us. At all. Also I think I may have thrown a shoe. Is that true, Squirt? Or am I making up details as I go along?

- At one point in time in high school she was dating a guy named Jeff and the other Jen in our group (who I will call OJ) was dating a guy named Dave. Each of them decided they liked the other's boyfriend better and thus The Great Switch of 1993 took place. Yes somehow they switched boyfriends. It was almost seamless how it happened. I'm still perplexed this many years later.

- The first time I ever got drunk was at Squirt's house. It was Memorial Day weekend of my junior year in high school, and her mom was out of town. It was only me, Squirt, OJ and our friend Heather, and we were having a sleepover. That is some crazy party, huh? The alcohol was supplied by Matthew McConaughey's character in "Dazed and Confused". Well, that's who he reminds me of anyway-this guy from the 'Ville. His legacy is that he has bought beer for hundreds of underage high school kids. If you had a party in the 'Ville in high school between the years of about 1992-1999, the chances are good that this guy supplied the beer. Squirt was friends with him so he hooked us up with some Budweiser and Zima (seriously). His only request was that he was invited over. Obviously someone who is out of high school wants to come to a sleepover with a bunch of 16 & 17 year old girls. Actually, thinking about it now, a 21 year old kid with a bunch of drunk high school chicks? Maybe he knew what he was doing. When he came over, he brought an older friend, and when we saw them through the front window standing on the porch, OJ and I thought they were parents. OJ started screaming, "It's old people! It's old people! We need to turn the radio off! How do you turn this goddamn thing off!?" Then she punched the stereo receiver as hard as she could, and the it went silent. "Oh my God you're like the Fonz," I said.

Almost immediately when I drank a Budweiser I made the life decision to not be a beer drinker. I couldn't believe how nasty it was. So I moved on to the hard stuff-the Zima. I drank a few of those, and since it was my first time drinking, I got hammered pretty quickly. However, I didn't realize that and decided that the Zima just wasn't doing it for me. So I went into Squirt's mom's liquor cabinet. Since I was new to this world, I felt that taking a shot of each would be the appropriate course of action. After all you don't just go in the store and buy a pair of jeans without trying them on, right? That's all I was doing-trying on the alcohol. Figuring out which ones I liked best. I don't know how many bottles there were. At least 10. I just went right down the line taking note of which ones were keepers and which ones would be filed under the "never drink again" list.

Then I got to the whiskey. I had a quick flashback of my boyfriend and his best friend telling me that whiskey tasted like kerosene. Kerosene! I had to see for myself. I grabbed a glass, and Squirt said sternly, "Sarah, don't drink too much of that. I don't want my mom to notice. And do not spill it!!" "Relax, Squirt. I got this under control," I replied as I poured half the bottle into the glass. Realizing I had taken too much and that Squirt's mom would definitely notice that amount missing, I slyly started pouring some back into the bottle. And by pouring some back into the bottle I mean I poured it all over the kitchen counter and floor. Squirt was not happy with me. "It's fine, baby. I'll clean this up. No problem. It's not like it's all over the kitchen or something," I said. I took a sip of the whiskey, and immediately spit it out all over the kitchen windows and cabinets. However, if Squirt gave me a dirty look I didn't see it because I was halfway up the stairs on my way to the bathroom to throw up. OJ had just sat down to pee when I burst into the bathroom screaming, "Get up! Get up! Get up!" She clumsily hobbled out of the bathroom with her pants around her ankles right as my insides came out. Luckily, I got it all in the toilet. My first drunk puke, and I got it all in the toilet-pretty impressive if you ask me.

As I hurled into the porcelain god, I thought, "Why yes, whiskey does taste like kerosene. And it burns like kerosene, too." Shortly after that the greatest thing ever happened. I've spoken to you about Josh B. and how he played an important role in my life-nay, in all our lives, including yours-as being the hottest guy ever produced by the 'Ville. Well, through a series of events I still don't really understand, he and his friends ended up at Squirt's house that night. They came...to our party. We were in our pajamas...drinking Zima. I had just puked. Not exactly the way we had dreamed it would happen, but it happened. He and his friends actually came into Squirt's house and hung out with us. This was 12 years ago. I am now 29 years old. I still have goosebumps. I remember his hot friend Derek saying it was cool that I tried whiskey and then giving me tips for feeling better after throwing up. He told me to drink Coke. To this day after a night of drinking, I drink Coke. Thank you, Hot Derek.

And thank you, Squirt, for letting me always sleep over and drink your mom's liquor and being in the same homeroom as me and always putting smiley faces on the notes you used to write and for being an amazing friend for the past 18 years (and for all the years to come). Oh and for letting me post a picture of your boobs on the internet.

More proof that I am a dork

Nail pop guy left yesterday, and I realized that I forgot to have him fix the ones in the downstairs bathroom. Upon realizing that he was down the street fixing up another house, I stood outside like a stalker freak and waited for him to exit the house. It was a good half hour of standing in my driveway pretending to read a magazine which had to be the least convincing cover ever because I was trying to "read" while standing straight up in the middle of my driveway holding a cell phone and wearing my work clothes. As soon as nail pop guy left the house down the street, I took off in a dead sprint toward him while yelling his name like a crazy person. When he finally noticed me, I could see the look of horror on his face. I caught up to him and breathlessly rambled on about how oh my God I left him a message on his phone but I was so afraid he wouldn't get it and I am such a moron and totally forgot the downstairs bathroom and OMG I am so sorry, and he said he'd be back in a few minutes. He came back and was so nice despite definitely being scared of me. He fixed the stuff in the bathroom.

Approximately 5 seconds after he left, I went in to inspect his work, tripped over my shoe and fell into the wall accidentally shoving a finger into the newly mudded area. Not having a trowel, I decided to do what the professionals would do in this situation and I grabbed my Pampered Chef spreader which is used to frost cupcakes and tried to smooth out the mud using that. It looks good for a cupcake. Bad for a wall. Oh well-I'll just sand that shit out. Listen to me. I'm like Bob Vila or something. They should give me show on HGTV. It could be called "How to fix crap in your house using kitchen products and sometimes a dustpan which is what I originally tried to use to fix my wall but it didn't work." Theme song: Theme song from "MacGuyver" since we are essentially the same person.

Wicked nail pops

I'm at home right now because a guy is here fixing my nail pops. That sounds dirty, but it's really not. New homes settle so you get smalls cracks in the walls and nail pops. Don't "nail pops" sound exciting? I pictured nails flying out of the walls with a loud popping noise, but they really aren't all that exciting. All that happens is that you can see a tiny circle on your wall from the nail head coming out of the wall a little bit. Bo-ring. As I'm writing this I'm realizing that this guy might have the worst job ever.

Anyway, I've told you guys I am a huge music dork. Well that includes musicals. I loooove musicals. I'm telling you I am poised and ready to be a gay man's best friend. Last night Diane and I got to go see "Wicked". If you're not familiar it tells the story of Glinda the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch of the West from "The Wizard of Oz" and how the wicked witch got wicked. It's a huge hit on Broadway, and I have been dying to see it. When my parents gave us their tickets for last night, I almost peed my pants. And with good reason. It was AMAZING. I loved it so much. I was just so happy the entire time. Usually at that kind of stuff I'm the last person to stand up for the standing ovation. Not because I don't think the performers deserve it but because I am a lazy piece of crap. But last night I stood up right away. D and I were just blown away. If you like musicals you should go see it. If not, what is your problem? They are awesome and fun and pretty.

Also I just want to say thank God I live in a city that has such an active performing arts community. I felt so lucky that we even got the chance to see that last night. This city is fantastic despite the fact that D and I got in a fight with some a-holes in the parking garage. I'll just say that it's awesome caring less about your car than another guy cares about his because you will always win in a game of parking garage chicken.

You're the meaning in my life

I hope everyone had a happy 4th of July. This year we decided to do something completely different from the normal 4th of July celebration and went and saw fireworks. As I was playing with sparklers, eating cookies with red and blue sprinkles on top and drinking grape soda, I started to wonder if maybe I was too old to be doing such things. Then I wrote my name with the sparkler, and it was awesome so I stopped caring.

Favorite quotes of the night:

Loyd to a guy who lent us his lighter so we could light sparklers while holding a whole bunch of glow bracelets/necklaces he bought from some street vendor: Thank you so much. Can I interest you in a glow stick?

The guy who lent us his lighter for the sparklers: You kids be careful now!

Jace, after I remarked that I couldn't believe the fireworks finale was still going on (it was seriously so long): I know. Now I'm just starting to worry about my tax dollars and where they're going.

The rest of the weekend was pretty trying for me and my family as we are dealing with something pretty big and pretty serious right now. But it was really nice to be able to be with my friends and kick back with some grape soda.

Thursday we went to a concert. It was a couple of new bands. I'm not sure if you guys have heard of them - Huey Lewis and the News and Chicago? Awesome. You run a few risks going to see bands who have been around for 20-30 years.

1. They have so many songs that the chances of you hearing your favorite are pretty slim.
2. They might play new stuff and-let's be honest-I am not here to listen to new stuff.
3. They might play all really old stuff.

In this case, especially with Chicago, this is what happened to us. I never thought I could describe anything involving Chicago by using this word, but I have to do it: disappointing. They were disappointing.

Apparently they weren't aware that there were a lot of people under the age of 50 in the crowd because all they played was their really, really early stuff. That is okay when we're talking "Saturday in the Park", but enough of the jam sessions on the jazz flute and trombone. That's all I'm saying. Here is the list of songs on my Chicago Greatest Hits 1982-1989:

1. Hard to Say I'm Sorry
2. Look Away
3. Stay the Night
4. Will You Still Love Me?
5. Love Me Tomorrow
6. What Kind of Man Would I Be?
7. You're the Inspiration
8. I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love
9. Hard Habit to Break
10. Along Comes a Woman
11. If She Would Have Been Faithful...
12. We Can Last Forever

Here's the list of songs they played from this cd:
1. Hard to Say I'm Sorry

One effing 80's song. Are you kidding me??? Not even "You're the Inspiration"? What?!? That seems like it should be illegal. If I had balls, I would've given my left one to hear "Will You Still Love Me?" But alas it was not meant to be. Obviously part of the problem was the severe lack of Cetera. I'm just saying his absence did not go unnoticed. There was a point in HL's set (Huey Lewis) where he started introducing a man he looked up to and loved rocking out with, and Danielle and I were actually holding hands and our breath thinking they were going to bring out Peter Cetera. Then it was some stupid guy we didn't know. Dammit. We all thought they should've lowered Cetera onto the stage from a helicopter. It's probably better that didn't happen because I might have actually gone into cardiac arrest. Probably my favorite part of the Chicago set was when Danielle took out her iPod and started listening to their 80's songs.

HL was okay, but he didn't play "Hip to be Square" or "Happy to be Stuck With You". Come on, HL. You can do better than that. Though I appreciate that you played "Back in Time" in your encore. Nice touch. Michael J. Fox rules.

All in all, I'm going to have to give the actual concert 1 star out of 4. But I give Chicago Greatest Hits 1982-1989 4 out of 4 stars and Peter Cetera 8 and a quarter stars.