Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Breaking news

I just received this urgent email:

coprinus accipiter batavia abetted. above chauffeur digitalis bad beijing alleviate. bantus butternut
collapsible aqueduct carbohydrate commend denunciation demolish crank. chairman barracuda dairyman bilingual confucian blackfeet disputant.

Seriously that's what it said and exactly how it was written. It might be the greatest email I have ever received. I'm not sure, though, because once John sent me a picture that he had drawn of a toilet in the men's bathroom on the day that a piece of poop was lying on the floor next to it. He was trying to explain to me the logistics of how everything was laid out and felt that the only way to really describe it to me was in an artistic rendering of the bathroom stall. That was pretty sweet. The subject line of my email today was "balk big archetypal". Fantastic.

P.S. I heard a rumor that Nicole Richie was pregnant. Is there a way that we, as outsiders, can stop this? Seriously I'm open to all ideas at this point.

6 comments:

Skeezix said...

Bantus Butternut is possibly the best phrase ever written.

And as for great emails, look at what recieved today from a dude on myspace:

Hello cute baby ,how u doing ?i am Peter ,i live in Texas, i am a recording artist .i was searching through differrent profiles to see if i could find a lady that is seriouse and ready for a seriouse relationship and i can see you are my topest match and will like to talk to u if u dont mind .lets try yahoo messanger my id is masterp.lick u should add me to your buddy list or mail me at masterp.lick@yahoo.com so we can talk better and get closer.
thanx
Peter

Don't be jealous that I'm his topest match for seriouse relationship, ok?

Alan the Great said...

I get those all the time... I'm guessing it also included handy information on Viagra, or possibly stock tips?

As for the other thing....

KICK HER IN THE BABY.

Alan the Great said...

To clarify, I get emails similar to the 'bantus butternut' thing, not the Peter thing.

S:
You should reply with a 'recent picture' of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers. See what happens.

Sarah said...

Skeezix, I am insanely jealous that masterp.lick wants to talk better and get closer with you, his cute baby. No fair!

Alan, ahahaha-you totally get emails from Peter on MySpace! Seriously though I expected stock tips with this one, but literally all it was was those list of words. Awesome!

Lindystar said...

Can they get a court order for that ho to eat? Or strap her down and feed her with a tube or something?

citygirl said...

If Nicole Richie really is preggers I think, unfortunately for that baby, her own body will stop it. SHE'S WAY TOO SKINNY TO CARRY A CHILD!