Thursday, June 21, 2007

Crash Bandicooter

Dear guy who was in front of me last night on Great Northern Blvd around 10:40ishpm driving the Jeep Wrangler with "Sahara" written on the tire cover,
Thanks ever so much for slamming on your brakes for a freaking useless mole thereby causing me to almost run into you and in turn the guy behind me to smash into the back of my car which propelled me into the back of yours. I think maybe my favorite part was when you drove off afterwards not even checking to see if the mayhem you caused resulted in any injuries or damage to your own fucking car. Why don't you EAC. Thank God the mole's okay so he can go spread rabies to the rest of Cleveland's wildlife.

Dear guy who ran into me,
I promise I will find the cheapest place I can to fix my car. I am okay. Stop having a panic attack.

Dear Faye,
Baby, I promise mama's gonna get you a new rear bumper and a new muffler and fix you up real nice.

Dear everyone who has to be near me while I'm driving my car until I can get a new muffler,
I know it's loud. I promise I am not white trash. I mean I do keep my Christmas lights up way too long and wear ill-fitting sweat shorts and no shoes to get my mail, but really, I'm not white trash. I'm just white and trashy which is a completely different thing.

P.S. My back hurts.
P.P.S. The post title made me laugh really hard.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was just searching "cooter" on the innerweb and somehow navigated to your website. Funny how things work out, huh? Oh, UI just hope that big brother wasn't monitoring my google searches while I am at work. --ALoyd

H said...

Wow, glad to hear that you are okay, except for the muffler thing. It's been a bad month for Asshole Idiot Drivers. Remember last month when I was involved in the hit and run? Where I was the one who was hit but not the one who ran? Rawr.

(My verification is "frsksf". Apparently I'm "frsky" today.)

Skeezix said...

ooff. That sucks dong. I'm glad your mostly ok, with only bumper and muffler damage.

CruiserMel said...

That's completely rotten of that guy. Prick. Glad you're okay enough to opine on the subject here, though. Maybe you should leave the muffler off the car and add some of those spinning rims and maybe a curb-feeler or two while you're at it. It could make for some funny blog fodder....

urban princess said...

Sorry about your car and sore back. The same thing happened to me years ago and it SUCKED. Glad you're OK.

Anonymous said...

I was just contemplating the irony of the post before your Bandicooter posting.

"Yesterday I was following a car into work that said "Channel 3 News" on it, and the only thing I could think about the entire time was, 'If I ram the back of this car will I be on the news?'"

Mon said...

I was rear ended once. I didnt get hurt really, but an ambulance chaser got me, and won me 5 grand, of which i got 2700. Nothing even happened to my car visibly, and the insurance company totaled it out cus the frame cracked. silly frame. Turned out being rear-ended was a good thing. sue that sumbitch!

Sarah said...

All, thank you for the well wishes. I'm okay!

Anon, karma's a bitch!

Tim M said...

Now you get to use that insurance you've paid into your whole life!

Golightly said...

wrecks suck - glad you are a-okay.

I'm so LOL at this: I'm just white and trashy which is a completely different thing.

hee hee hee

Lindystar said...

What a fucking cocksucker.

Glad you're o.k.

Hey!! And since I'm driving SUPER ghetto car with horrid loud ass muffler until my car is fixed we should get together and cruise.

Maybe we can set off some car alarms with our combined decibles. It's SOOO embarrasing isn't it? OMG.

We'd end up getting tickets together.

Sassy Blondie said...

OMG! I'm glad you are okay! A bit sore and stiff for a few days for sure though. What a complete ass..I hope his effin Jeep is a mess!

Just put some kind of redneck sticker in the window, and no one will think twice about it.

Oh..and get a tattoo...

citygirl said...

Car accidents bite much ass, but we're all glad you're ok. I got rear-ended a month after getting my first brand new car while stopping at a yellow light. The impact knocked my car into the intersection and scared the holy, ever-loving shit outta me. And since then I've been leery of yellow lights, I run them every time I can. Joy!

Violet said...

What a jerk! I'm glad you're ok, even if you are temporarily mufferless.