Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Animals of the Caribbean. And I don't mean Diane and I.

I had a great time on the cruise despite this happening on the first night:

Come on are you kidding me?? They bring this guy out the first night? Were they trying to get me to jump ship or what?

Fortunately I was able to look past it as my beautiful cousin came out and danced.

Yes she is totally hot. No you cannot date her.

I honestly can't believe anyone in my family can dance like that. She was absolutely amazing. The fact that she shares the same DNA as Diane and I-giant fumbling oafs-will boggle scientific minds for centuries.

I have no idea how to organize my cruise into a coherent storyline so these next several posts will just be complete rambling. Let's talk about the wild life we saw on our trip. In Jamaica we ran into the very elusive animal known as a "cow":

I haven't the slightest clue why I took this picture. It's not like we don't have cows here. This one isn't even wild. It's tied to a rope. My cousin Kevin took a pic of his brother, Steve, that made it look like he was swallowing the cow whole. It has nothing to do with being in Jamaica, but it's the best picture of the trip.

Every night we found animals in our cabin.

Yes, yes I know-they're cute. But imagine coming back to your room at 3am slightly inebriated and flipping on the lights to see beady little eyes staring back at you. I don't want to say Diane and I were scared (more than once) by bath towels, but Diane and I were scared (more than once) by bath towels.

I actually got up close to a stingray without crying:

Okay I have to come clean: that's not a real stingray. If you notice, it has a tag. And it's purple. And fuzzy. Seriously, you guys, how did you not catch that. Hey if you look closely in this picture you can see Diane's tan line that subsequently made all her v-neck shirts look weird.

Here's a picture of a shark:

Just kidding that's a dolphin. If I was this close to a shark (I'm like a million yards away), the last thing I would be doing is taking a picture. The first thing I would be doing is pushing the person closest to me into the water.


slcup said...

The evil rabbit-type mascot? What the hell is that? That's as bad as having the evil Burger King dude on your cruise. Ew, can you even imagine?

-Kami- said...

Whatever the crap that mascot is needs to be killed. It looks like a giant twizzler unraveling. You totally got me with the "shark" picture. Of course, I'm very gullable.

Okapi said...

You should let Diane know that the tan line will haunt her for months. I had the same tan line from getting burnt in June - it was still visible in October when I went abroad, and it was intensified by the new tan, rather than than fading into it.

I have a stripe above my boobline that makes me look two tone, and I don't know if it will ever go away.

Diane said...


That sucks! Thanks for scaring me! I tried to get rid of it the rest of the week, but it was like that part just kept getting darker and the cleavage area was actually getting whiter. I wear v-necks all the time (obviously to show off my huge boobs). This won't work.

Tom said...

AHAHA. I just read your "making cookies" post from 1/1/05.

You're like the funniest blogger out there.

BAM. link


the council for new skulls said...

uh i love your blog. you're funny. good job.

the council for new skulls said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Cruises rock. I loved how our waiter knew exactly how I liked my coffee and it would magically appear as I sat down for breakfast every morning.

That must be how good Trump has it.