Wednesday, October 17, 2007

OFW '07

I went to the dentist today and got absolutely no action. What's up with that? I even wore a v-neck and told him I was feeling really vulnerable and needed to feel wanted again. But no dice. Just kidding-we totally did it. Oh wait I mean I was kidding about telling him I was vulnerable. Can you imagine if I said that? So, Sarah, how's it going? Any problems? Well, Dr. B, lately I've just been feeling really alone and like I just need to feel the human touch.

Ew I just gave myself the icky shivers.

So this weekend we did something really dorky which is shocking I know. Danielle and Sharda live basically down the street from each other in a city called OF. It's not actually called OF, but that's the abbreviation for their town. The boys went to NASCAR to pretend they are white trash. Just kidding. I know not everyone who likes NASCAR is white trash. Wait no, no-they are.

Anywho, since the boys were out of town we decided a couple months ago that we would have a girls night. Then Diane came up with the awesome idea of an OF Weekend where we spent the whole weekend in OF, and just like that OFW '07 was born.

Friday we would go to Sharda's house then Saturday we would head on down the street to Danielle's. We basically pretended like we were going out of town to Put in Bay but really we just went to a different suburb. Awesome.

As usual, I handled myself with the utmost grace and poise. Especially when I pretended like my body was making its own decisions and had to get up to dance to Chingy's "One Call Away" even without my brain's consent. At Sharda's we definitely drank an inordinate amount of wine and sang karaoke till 2am. I don't remember much about karaoke except that I made Diane pick my songs, and I sang some Backstreet Boys, Hilary Duff and The Carpenter's version of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas". Sharda made us egg/sausage/biscuit things and cinnamon bread for breakfast on Saturday and then I made out with her.

On Saturday we headed over to Danielle's where, in a twist on our usual routine, we drank and played karaoke. I also watched people played Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero. Hey if you ever get the chance, watch your friends play Dance Dance Revolution for the first time ever. It is so funny you will pee. It was Danielle's game so she was really good at it. In fact she was so good Steph was like, "Maybe you should leave the house more."

The best karaoke-er was John's 4 year old son Josh. We handed him a mic and played the Michael Buble song "Home" on a CD since we didn't have a karaoke version, and he sang the entire thing-every single word. It was so wonderful and amazing it made my ovaries ache. I have got to get me one of those. A kid-not an ovary. Frankly, I have no place to put a third ovary. Not to mention it really doesn't go with my decor.

I'm happy to say I didn't do anything embarassing or inappropriate for my age at the end of the night Saturday. Unless you count when I threw up. Yeah I did, you guys. My goal was to have my 30th birthday party be the last time that happened because seriously at my age it's just sad. Well apparently I'm still sad person. Here's to no puking in 2008!

P.S. Speaking of Michael Buble, please go download his song "Everything". It's not brand new or anything, but it makes me want to dance around in a circle in my living room like a 5 year old. It's so lovely.

P.P.S. Even without the fondling, I had an exciting day at the dentist. Did you know you can brush your teeth too hard? Yeah. They told me I am brushing my teeth too hard, and it's making my gums recede. New friend Dr. Nate, what's up with that?

P.P.P.S. I am not talking about the Tribe on purpose at the risk of jinxing them. But I can't remain silent about this: Manny, you are a fucking douchebag ahole. Seriously? Watching your home run like it's winning the game when it's only making the score 7-3? You're still losing by 4 runs, asshole. Honestly just go home and hit on some high school chicks.


Skeezix said...

I'm a little paranoid too about even talking about the Indians at all. I can't believe what a supersitious ninny I've turned into.

Why do you always have the best weekends?

Slick said...

lol....Ha, well, i reckon' it's a good thing I HATE Nascar!

Dr Nate said...

Yeah, you can totally do it too hard.


May I just say, that your whimsical turns of double entendre make me chortle. Not enough to wet myself, but right up there, seriously, mad props. :)

pretty much, it's not so much how HARD you do it, as it is the techNIQUE that matters. (that's what she said!) Oooh, time! (yeah, she said that too!) shut up!

Ahem. you want to focus on short little up and down motions, or little circles. if you jump right in w/ a hardcore horizontal scrubbing action, you can cause your gums to prematurely recede AND grind off the root surfaces of your teeth, since they arne't as hard as enamel, and once you get thru the gums, they aare vulnerable, totally. So there ya go.

As a Sox fan, can I just say... oh LORDY, yes, Manny was SUCH a douchebag.... if I were at the stadium, or playing myself or bowling or flag football or freaking DARTs and someone made that kind of display when down by so much, I'd be chanting, "SCORRRREE BOARRRD! SCOORRRRRE BOARRRD!" grow the f. up. Even if he'd just won the game in the bottom of the ninth, you're STILL just tied in the series, so WTF? argh. The Indians have gotten ALL the breaks...I mean, winning is all about taking advantge of what you get, and the sox have been JACKED on some of the umpire's calls and all their hard hit balls sail DIRECTLY to kenny lofton (what is he, a 41 y.o. magnet?) but STILL - they're supposed to be some kind of machine on offence, and just liek the '04 Yankees choked, my feeling (outside of loyalties) is "Man up or go home, bitches." you can only write off "bad luck" for so many games...that's why baseball ALCS is a 7 game series.

FURTHEr, hey, it's the Tribe's time (i read that on a towell somewhere...) ...i mean, c'mon, it's been over 50 years, and the sox won just 3 yrs ago. I'd MCH rather see the indians than the 'rockies' (who names a team after flying squirrells, anyway?)

Like when the Colts beat the Pats last year, everyone was like, "ooh, peyton manning is such a cock blah blah" and i thought, Damn, he was the Pat's WHIPPING boy for YEARS! they won THREE superbowls...can't he deserve ONE? at least? get over it. do you HAVE to win all the time? if you DO, you become the Yankees, and I think we can ALL agree...Yankees SUCK!

Good Day to you!

Anonymous said...

Umm...I love this Dr. Nate and his short comments. I know Andy (this dude in New England) as the funniest man ever and having heard Dr. Nate is friends with stomach hurts from belly laughing at the idea of how great a conversation between the two of them must be. -Steph

Sassy Blondie said...

Sarah, are you sure it isn't all the karaoke and wine that is making your gums recede? I don't know, but it sounds suspicious...;)

Mon said...

Hi! i brush my teeth too hard too. my gums are receding. In an effort to stop the madness, i bought a soft bristle brush. This didn't seem to fix the situation.

Tribes going all the way. They are the best field goalers ever. Kidding, I totally know it's called punting. =) sports are not my forte.