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So Twitter is in my face all the time, right? I have no idea what it is or what it is for, but I know that Jim Gaffigan is on it, and I know that I need to know what he is doing at all times. So I decided to finally go read up on it and find out what this gosh darn Twittering business is all about.

Yeah I totally joined it.

I am so weak. And honestly I don't get the point, but it seems like a way for me to pretend I'm friends with celebrities while simultaneously giving me something to do besides work at work. Naturally I am on board with both of those things. One drawback: I am only allowed to update 1,000 times per day. 1,000 times per day seriously? Are people updating this thing 1,000 times per day!? That is like...insane-o crazy go out and interact with real human beings stuff there.

Here is the worst part: I tried to make my screen name "okayseriously". It was taken, you guys. So was "okseriously". I will fight whoever these imposters are. I doubt any of them fell off their bike recently. I struggled over what to make my screen name for a little bit trying to make it as clever as possible and even going so far as considering "oksrsly", but ultimately I couldn't bring myself to abbreviate the word "seriously" like that. It's atrocious. Then I reached the apex of my creativity and decided on (drumroll, please): seriouslyokay. Whoosh. That one took a lot out of me. I really don't know how I think this stuff up.

Anyway, my point is not to ask any of you to follow me-I would never wish that upon you-but to explain that once again I am like 4 years behind on what everyone else in the world is doing. Most likely Twitter will be gone next week, and there will be some new technology in its place with a weird name that sounds vaguely dirty and that invites pedophiles further into your life. I'll join it in 4 years.