It sure is nice up here on my soapbox

Sorry I haven't finished the Krusty's post yet. I promise it will be up this week. Last night I was just way too busy meeting a charming young man and exchanging numbers with him. Okay so maybe he's 11 and is my sister and brother-in-law's nephew. I still got digits. By the way, the picture he put in his phone for when I call him is Spiderman. Awesome. Also Diane told me he totally used opposite day jokes on her yesterday to try and get her to give him more cookies. A) I am so in tune with the youth of today and b) his tricks obviously didn't work on Diane. I think he thought she had no idea what opposite day was. Andy, I know we're old, but we aren't dumb, and opposite day has been around forever. It just shows that some things never change (e.g., opposite day, milk milk lemonade).

Oh but want to hear about something that is changing for kids today that makes me so angry I want to punch someone? A lot of parents are now banning sleepovers. Banning sleepovers! My best memories of growing up were the sleepovers I had. I can't imagine a kid having to miss out on this. Here is a quote directly from the article:

"Newsome, a Miami mother of two, worries she's being overprotective, but says the "what if" factor outweighs it. "You read so many horror stories. The kid's father going into the room and doing something," said 37-year-old Newsome. "We just don't feel comfortable with people we don't know.""

Listen, I feel you, lady. I really, really do. I know there are a lot of creeps out there (not more than when you were a kid, but I'm sure you haven't considered that), but making your daughter an outcast amongst her friends and stopping her from enjoying her childhood doesn't guarantee she won't get molested. What is so hard about taking the time to get to know the parents of the child your daughter wants to spend time with. Why can't you do your research and make informed choices? Most people are innately good, and I just don't see how a) making your child miss out on such an important rite of passage and b) teaching her this level of distrust at such a young age is doing anything but harm. Stop hovering and being annoying, and do your homework on families you don't know so your kid isn't the one who has to be picked up early at every party while everyone else gets to stay and have fun. Guess what happens to your daughter when she goes to college? She goes insane at the first taste of freedom and ends up being known as Betty Blowjob around campus.

Also...you need to let go of the whole rated R movies concern. It's going to happen. And yes, she will be traumatized, and it will probably affect her for the rest of her life to the point that when she's 29 and her boyfriend makes her watch "The Ring" she cries and gets so mad that she doesn't talk to him for an hour and when she's 32 she will still refuse to go to a haunted house even though the people working there are literally half her age and probably work part time at the McDonald's by her house...you know what? I'm with you on this one, lady. Good luck regulating that.

P.S. I just want to point out that I do not have children nor can I even imagine how difficult raising a child must be. So take my words with a grain of salt. I am just sad kids are missing out on something so fun because parents aren't dealing with their fears. And also, quit raising wimps, America.