Monday, September 11, 2006

Another weekend, another attempt on my liver's life

I'm not really sure what to say about the 5 year anniversary of 9/11. I'm afraid if I try to say too much it'll come off insincere and cheesy so I'll just say that I made myself watch some 9/11 coverage because I know it's important that it stays fresh in my mind. It's a different world we live in now even though I allow myself to forget it from day to day. But not today. Today I have to remember. It still stings like it happened yesterday, those who were lost are still missed, and the people who ran into the buildings when everyone else ran out should get a special place in heaven. That's all I'm really going to say about it.

As important as remembering is the concept of "business as usual", and I have been doing plenty of that as well. Friday my sister and Drew had their first party in their new house. And it was awesome. Diane made me an Absolut and pink lemonade, and I was born anew in its glory. How have I not had this drink before. Obviously after one I needed another only when it was time to make it Diane was otherwise engaged so I was left to my own devices. I think you can imagine what happened. After I drank my version of the same cocktail, I was completely smashed and found myself drunk babbling to my mom about housewares and appetizers and the like. Apparently the recipe is not 10 parts vodka to 1 part lemonade. Just FYI.

After more of those (oh yes I kept making them-for me and for others-yikes), I opened a bottle of wine. Very much needed. Pictures of me wearing a scarf on my head and singing karaoke soon followed. All I know is even when drunk I will kick everyone's ass at Karaoke Revolution. My sore loser friends even told me it wasn't fun to play with me. To them I have one thing to say: perfect score, bitches.

Saturday morning we had to get up and play football-our first game of the season. We won. Diane was the lead scorer. I could make a joke about her being a boy here, but I'm out of them. I think we used all of them at the game. Saturday night was Anita's 30th birthday party. Wine was drunk. Mostly by me. Also I accidentally drank curdled Bailey's. I gave Anita a bottle of Bailey's, and since she's awesome she opened it at the bar and poured me a glass. I needed ice so I grabbed some from an empty glass that was once filled with Diet Coke and lime. Hi. Lime + Bailey's = Cement Mixer. Awful. Then some dumbass left their credit card at the bar. It was me. Reason #1 why I don't open tabs. Reason #2 = please see tab total.

After another night of hard partying, we had to get up and go tailgating for the Browns season opener. I will just say that waking up Sunday morning might have been my greatest accomplishment of all time. I'm really not sure how I did it. Another great accomplishment? I brought blueberry muffins to the game. Blueberry muffins that I made. Um...I don't make muffins. But I made them. And they were delicious. I don't want to get ahead of myself, but I might be the greatest muffin maker ever. I mean like among those who use the mix right out of the box.

I got buzzed at tailgating, but then my body simply refused to take in any more alcohol. It just stopped. I'm glad it finally stood up for itself rather than just taking the abuse. I don't want to talk about the actual game itself. It hurts too much. All I'll say is our offensive line is pretty good for a bunch of vaginas who can't block anything.

Sunday night I took a shower, got some Applebee's carside to go (oriental chicken rollup, no almonds obviously) and curled up on my couch. I was asleep by about 9:30. It was glorious.

Tomorrow night? Def Leppard and Journey. Seriously.

7 comments:

StrangerDanger said...

Tailgating is fun indeed...SD said we can call you SuperMuffin now to your face (instead of just behind your back)

russ said...

You wouldn't happen to know what kind of bar a bunch of vaginas that can't block anything might hang out in, do you? I'm just saying that's my kind of place.

The Jay said...

Take heart... at least your QB didn't throw 3 picks in a game where we could have knocked off the defending world champs. Damn you, Daunte Culpepper! And what's worse, if he goes down, our backup is pick-happy gunslinger "Don't Call Me" Joey Harrington. I should just give up on our season right now. One loss and we're down for the year.

JD said...

Raspberry stoli and raspberry lemonade - mmmm... yum. Thanks for reminding me of bliss.

Adam said...

Are YOU the Muffin Man? The one on Drury Lane?

Hey, I just noticed "Companys Resident Hottie" next to Occupation, are you really a hottie? Is it possible a person can be hilarious and hot? (I'm not suggesting you are, I'm just asking)

Anywho, I think I asked this before and then never stuck around for the answer; can anyone tell me what tailgating is?

heather said...

Girl - did I read this right - between Friday and Sunday - only one shower - on Sunday night?? OR - was that the only shower worth mentioning?

AND - If you ask me - that is the perfect ration for a Vodka Lemonade. - Cheers!

Sarah said...

stranger, next time I go to PIB I'm introducing myself as SuperMuffin. Bone-wise.

Russ, you could try hanging out with my friends. They're all a little slutty.

The Jay, it was a really weird day for football, wasn't it? Hey at least you are a Browns fan.

JD, that's what I'm here for-to remind you of how much you like alcohol.

Adam, I totally forgot I wrote Company's Resident Hottie. What is wrong with me. I need to change that. Am I hot? You saw the pic of me with a bag on a my head-what do you think? Oh and here is my friend Gordo's explanation of tailgating.

Heather, that was my only shower for the week. I'm really more of an au natural kind of girl. Just kidding. That was the only shower worth mentioning because it was amazing. The others were purely functional. I wish I had vodka lemonade right now.