Manic Monday

Two weeks ago was Hot Vendor Guy's last week in Cleveland. For our last hurrah, we decided to take him to see this new band. They're called The Bangles. Oh by new, I meant 20 years old.

Seriously, you guys. The Bangles. It was Tim (HVG), the Hor, me, Diane, Meg and Jen. That's right-Tim and 5 chicks. That's so fitting for a Bangles concert. We went to happy hour and dinner first where Hor and Tim decided it would be a good time to take up drinking whiskey. We proceeded to call Tim a p*ssy because he wouldn't drink it fast enough. Did I mention he was already like 5 vodka tonics in? We are good friends. I had decided early on to not drink too much so obviously I was wasted by 5:30. Our waitress sucked so bad I actually had to chase her down inside the restaurant and say, "You're our waitress, right? I'm not really sure because I've only seen you once in an hour and a half." Oh yeah what's up. I'm a badass. I'd just like to point out that had I been sober, Diane would've been sent to deal with the waitress issue. Ah-liquid courage.

The concert was at the House of Blues and was one of those standing room only ones which means we were able to get really close because we are pushy and rude. Let me just interject here that The Bangles played an important role in my youth in that they made me want to be in an all girl rock band more than anything. They also made me want to be Susanna Hoffs. For all my obsession with them, I have never actually seen them in concert. So this...this was a big deal, folks. A big, big deal.

When they first came out, I was like, 'Holy shit is this really happening!?' Then I was like, 'Who the eff is that playing bass?' Cuz it was not Michael Steele. Apparently she officially retired from The Bangles 3 years ago. This hurt me personally because it meant that they did not play "September Gurls" which almost made me want to die, but I got over it because Susanna Hoffs is so pretty.

Honestly. She's 48 and looks exactly the same. Tim never knew she was so good looking, and when she came out he was completely speechless. We actually had to leave him alone with his thoughts for a moment. Or as Danielle said when I asked her where Tim was at one point, "He's jackin' it to Susanna Hoffs."

Truth be told all the Bangles look fantastic for their age. And for my age. They were wearing mini skirts and fishnets and looked freaking awesome. I'm 20 years younger than they are and cannot get away with fishnets. No fair.

They sounded absolutely great. Oh my God I wish I was still listening to them. And okay I don't mean to keep harping on this, but seriously Susanna Hoffs is a goddess. Not only is she totally hot, but she is so. effing. cool! No woman looks cooler playing guitar. She kept tossing her hair around so it would be all in her face. If anyone else did that, they would look like they were trying too hard, but when she did it, it was the greatest thing we've ever seen. I don't even know if I can talk about "Eternal Flame". It was fucking amazing. Yeah I used the f-bomb. It was that good. When it was over, Jen turned to us and said, "She just turned me into a lesbian." She turned all of us, Jen. She turned all of us.

At one point, she was playing guitar and twisted down onto her knees to play, and I turned to Tim who was staring on in complete awe, and I was like, "Are you okay?" and he said, "Shhh-don't talk to me right now."

Then the best thing ever in the whole world happened. There was a quiet lull, and I yelled out, "I love you!" (yeah I'm that girl), and Vicki pointed at me and said, "We love you, too!" She said it to me. DIRECTLY TO ME, YOU GUYS. I completely lost my mind. When it was over, I immediately got into my car and started playing the "Different Light" album. Then I got this text from Jen:

"Eternal Flame for Diane and Drew's wedding song!"

You're a genius, Jen!

And, Bangles, it is 20 years later, and I have never wanted to be in a girl rock band more*. You are my heroes!!!

*Does anyone want to start a girl rock band with me? Preferably you'll be able to play guitar, bass or drums since I can't play any of those. I can play clarinet if you want. There's always room for the clarinet in a rock band.