Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Shake your love

Things that are in my face a lot that I don't really understand:
- Adam Lambert
- Real Housewives from New Jersey who also used to be coke whores maybe?
- Miss California/slutty topless homophobe
- People writing RT and # in front of other words on Twitter
- New "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" movie without Joss Whedon or Sarah Michelle Gellar.
- Quizno's commercials where the oven and the kid who work there clearly have a sexual relationship.

Oh my God Conan just referred to his penis as Tiny Dancer.

You guys, is this movie really necessary? I really need to have visions of a giant shark fighting an octopus? Or a shark that can jump out of the water and eat the Golden Gate bridge? Look, I know that's impossible. But I also thought it was impossible for a movie to ever get acting giants Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson in a movie together. What a coup for the studio. I expect the theme song to go something like this:

I get lost...in your dead eyes.
And I feel...my pulse rate rise.
And soar like the wind.
Is this your mouth that I am in?

I get weak...in a glance.
Or maybe it's the severe blood loss
I really don't know.
My vision's blurred and you won't let go.

I kind of mind not knowing what I'm headed for.
You really love to terrorize.
It's like being lost in hell
When I'm lost in your dead eyes.

Seriously this hurts. Sarah warned us.

[Fade out]

8 comments:

mellafabulous said...

People writing RT and # in front of other words on Twitter:

RT: Retweet. Someone else said, they liked it, reposting.

# is a hashtag marker. Example: #ilikeunicorns

if you search for something with that hashtag in the Twitter search (http://search.twitter.com/) it will pull every 'Tweet' with that hashtag, making it easy to follow, almost like a conversation. :)

And I followed you on Twitter. :) My user name is the same as my name here. :)

shine said...

Can you please record that song and send me the CD. ASAP. Genius.

Also, I tried to follow you on Twitter, but it said you don't exist.

Kristen Marie said...

ahahaha...you are so right about that Quizno's commercial. Although sometimes, when they are really amazing, I hear a Barry White-esque voice coming out of my sandwiches too. I just haven't had the urge to have sex with them.........Yet.

Jesslyn said...

The Real Housewives has me sucked it- it's nice to see that some of the rich are ghetto too, also that it doesn't matter how much money you have, it can never account for taste.

Brandi said...

As a Californian, I feel the need to apologize for the fact that she's a slutty/topless homophobe.
So glad that bitch got fired.
Is it sad that I knew which melody to sing that song to?

Fizzgig said...

retweet.


thats like tweety bird saying retreat.

thats all i got.

spaceface01 said...

I actually heard someone refer to their penis as their "Jeremy Piven" the other day. It was Kevin Nealon. It was classic.

Johnny Virgil said...

Holy crap, how did I miss this?