Updates

Work: Draining my will to live

Valentine's Day: So much fun. I exaggerate my bitterness toward this holiday. To be perfectly honest I've never put much stock into it as a legitimate holiday. It's nice and cute and a good way to remind us to take a minute and tell the people we love that we love them, but that's it. Besides I had like 12 Valentine dates so I'm awesome. And kind of slutty. Also I learned something on Valentine's Day: lesbians don't have it any easier. Apparently girls play the same BS games that guys do. Same shit, different sex. So that means my Plan B is pretty much shot to hell. Christy's response to this news was, "I'm not surprised. I mean I wouldn't want to date me."

Lost: I need to talk privately with some of the castaways.

Sayid, first of all you're a badass, and we all know it. But I think you need to get some counseling for your anger and grief at losing Shannon. Clearly you aren't dealing with it all that well. Secondly, I see what you're trying to do with Charlie. Why are you breaking up the group, Sayid!!!??? Not cool! Everyone's fighting and being mean to each other. I don't like what I'm seeing. We are a family goddammit! Let's act like it!

Locke, are you good or evil!? I can't tell! My money's on evil, but I'm hoping I'm wrong because I kind of heart you.

Jack, you're so hot, but why so pissy all the time? Diane says you need to get laid. I agree. And I think I am the one to help you with that. Yes-I'll take one for the team and do you on the hatch bunk bed. It's my duty.

New hot air balloon guy, I wish you weren't a liar. You might as well have a tattoo that says "I'm an Other!" on your forehead. A hot air balloon!? Please!!

Previews for the next episode: HOLY EFFING CRAP!!!!!

Next episode: Not on for like 3 weeks. WTF??

This past weekend: We went skiing at Holiday Valley. It was a blast. Especially watching Bob and Drew try to ski for the first time. They did very well for first timers. Drew fell a lot. But he made himself feel better by pushing Diane over. I hadn't skiied in 10 years so I am just now able to walk without a limp. Holy crap-what the hell muscles do you use to ski? Because obviously I haven't used them in quite some time. Here's how we spent most of our time on our big skiing weekend:

That's right. Dancing around the table in our pajamas. Right now you're wondering 2 things:

1 - Are those Christmas decorations?
2 - Is that girl doing the robot?

The answers are yes and yes. The entire town was still decorated for Christmas. Which means that basically I was in heaven. And that girl is my friend Kim, and she is wearing a Michael Jackson glove while also doing the robot so basically I was in heaven.

When we weren't dancing we were hanging out under the mosquito net:














Okay seriously owner of house we rented, a mosquito net? Is that really necessary? Diane said it creeped her out. I can't tell who that is flicking me off so I will just say eff you too, buddy.

The second night it got a little uncomfortable when Drew and Kevin went into the jacuzzi by themselves. Brokeback Hot Tub, you guys. That's all I'm saying. I don't have a picture of that because I was too busy dancing and playing air xylophone to Toto's "Africa".

One more thing I want to say. My friend Bob is normal: