Thursday, August 23, 2007

News break

Welcome to Okay Seriously, apparently your #1 source for all penis injury stories. Today's installation: "Woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis"

Okay I don't even have one of those, and this is so awful it made mine hurt just thinking about it. I like how they just casually mention that he was watching TV completely naked while drinking vodka. Like that's totally normal for someone who's not me. I will say that this does reinforce my unfair stereotype that all Russians drink vodka constantly.

In other news, holy fucking shit. I was just telling Hot Vendor Guy that I love when someone is named something for a reason. For example, B's father gave him his first and middle name after two legendary baseball players, and I once met a Rhiannon whose parents named her after the Fleetwood Mac song. But this thing has the creepiest reason for being named something ever. "We call her Blinky because all four eyes blink at the same time." Ga-gew. This is probably why I won't sleep tonight.

One more thing from the are you effing serious news items today:

"Rapper Kanye West has paid tribute to Justin Timberlake as the only othercontemporary musician as influential as him, and claims the pair are themodern day equivalent of Prince and Michael Jackson. West admits he oweshis success to Timberlake. He tells the upcoming October issue of Americanmagazine XXL, "My biggest inspiration and biggest competition is JustinTimberlake. He's the only other person that gets an across-the-board response and respect level - black radio, white radio. If Justin hadn'tcome out and killed the game, I can't say that my album, singles and videoswould be on the same level that they're on. We push each other. I look at me and Justin like Prince and Michael Jackson in their day.""

What world is Kanye West living in that he thinks he matters this much? Not that my feelings on hip hop are really what should be used to measure the accuracy of this type of claim because, let's face it, if it doesn't have Nate Dogg or Nelly in it the chances of me listening to it drop by like 50%. But seriously I don't know if I've seen a bigger example of an overinflated ego in my life. It's not like he is me, someone who is single-handedly revolutionizing the face of blogging using semi-amusing stories and MS Paint.

7 comments:

Sgt said...

I always thought it was your creative use of body paint that revolutionized the world.

Skeezix said...

Oh Jesus, Blinky? Really?

Kanye West really does have the most ridiculous ego of anyone I know. I bet he's really awful in bed, guys who think they are that fabulous usually are.

D-HOR said...

I'd give it to Timberlake but K.West? I sure as heck can't name his last single - or sing all of the words to it AND have a special dance to it that I do believe in the little world that is my brain I rock the SHIT out of.

Eeww-kay, too much into there, but REALLY, I agree totally.

Citygirl said...

I don't think I'd let somebody I was constantly fighting with come near me with an open flame...Especially if I was naked and enjoying a fine television program.

Fizzgig said...

I think I love Justin Timberlake. Him and Kanye's new song rocks the shizzie! I dunno if that is the proper use of the izzie termonology.but, whatever. It's awesome!

setting a penis on fire? *wheels turning* I won't say I read it here.

D-HOR said...

Mon - a lot of us are crackers here so I think it's ok.

Anonymous said...

I'm going to go against every natural instinct and side with Justin here. Horrible excuses for music notwithstanding, he did a fucking awesome parody of the Matrix.