Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Twenty Things

I got tagged by Bevis who, I'm pretty sure, has been wanting to tag me for a while. It's a list of Twenty Things you didn't know about me. I always feel weird writing lists like this because I feel kind of narcissistic assuming anyone cares to know 20 things about me, and then I remember that I am a shallow, selfish narcissist so it's okay. If you already know some of these things, I'm sorry. I had a hard time coming up with 20 things about me because the truth is I'm just not all that interesting.

1. If I end up on the highway following a truck or van carrying a ladder on its roof, I will change lanes. I do not need to be impaled by a ladder going 70mph. (It happens.) Instead I let the people behind me get impaled.

2. I used to smoke cigars in college.

3. If Jim from "The Office" was a real person, and I knew him, I'd have already asked him to marry me.

4. I took 10 years of piano lessons, 7 years of clarinet lessons and 4 years of voice lessons. In high school I took gym and health in summer school so that my schedule would allow me to be in both band and chorus. Can you say "music dork"?

5. I am ashamed to admit this, but if you have a Jesus fish on your car, I automatically assume you are a bad driver. I have no idea why. There's no rational explanation for why I think this except that I am a bad person. I'm sorry.

6. I still miss B. A lot.

7. I have a marriage pact with my friend Sudha that if neither of us is married when we are 45, we are going to get married. We actually wrote out a contract. It is awesome. I'm pretty sure with the path we're both on that we will actually have to satisfy this pact.

8. I once made out with a guy on a bus for 11 hours (sorry, Mom and Dad).

9. I once threw up at my cubicle after a night of drinking. I blamed it on receiving a flu shot the day before and IT TOTALLY WORKED!! (sorry, Mom and Dad)

10. I have many pet peeves which include but are not limited to: people that burp in public and then don't say excuse me, women who wear more than just their wedding ring on their left hand, people who go to watch a sporting event and then listen to that same sporting event on their headphones (seriously-why did you even buy the effing ticket??), couples who go to dinner and sit on the same side of the table, and men who don't pay me after sex. I'm sorry if I offend anyone with these. Please don't take it personally. Except for the guys who don't pay me after sex-that's just rude.

11. Cleaning the kitchen absolutely grosses me out, but I have no problem cleaning the bathroom. Someone analyze that behavior and get back to me please because I obviously have problems.

12. I did not win the f*cking lottery last night. Goddammit.

13. If my sister moved far away from me, I would probably die.

14. I start listening to Christmas music in August. I know-you hate me. It's okay. I've come to terms with the fact that this makes me "one of those people".

15.One time after a bad perm (is there any other kind?) I went home and locked myself in the bathroom for 5 hours.

16. If I had to eat spaghetti for every meal for the rest of my life, I would be okay with that.

17. I still laugh every single time someone goes up to a microphone and says "Testes, testes 1, 2...3??????"

18. Nerd alert: sometimes I wish my job involved more math.

19. I used to kiss my Ralph Macchio poster before I went to bed. Now I do it before I leave for work.

20. I love Phil Collins, and anyone who says they don't is a goddamn liar.

19 comments:

Rebecca said...

I loved your list!

I pretty much listen to Christmas music all year long. Don't tell anyone! :)

Rebecca

Beebers said...

throwing up at work - wow! that's hilarious.

i don't drive behind ladders either. or any truck with the tailgate down. freaks me out!

ORF said...

Back off, beyotch! Jim is SO TOTALLY MINE!!! OR....we could share him...

ThatGirl7278 said...

I too hate it when couples sit on the same side of the table. I mean - shit - take a break already and get a room.

And now I know to bring my new Phil Collins' greatest hits CD on our trip to Vegas next year.

~The Goofy Ass Chick said...

I agree, Jim is just so darn lovable I want to pet him. I love The Office. I have too many tv addictions though: Grey's Anatomy, The Office, Nip/Tuck and Lost.

It's okay that you still miss "B". I miss my "B" too. ;-)

My brother and sister-in-law actually sit on the same side of the table and freaking share a meal together. They make me want to barf.

-Kami- said...

I've been stalking your blog for like 3 months. I love your posts.

BEVIS said...

Hey, these are great! You make me laugh - that's why I tagged you.

Good work. :)

[drowninginjello] said...

great post, except for the part about eating spaghetti forever. you might as well just suck down some worms because that is all spaghetti is--creepy, long, slimy worms.

i'm borrowing (or stealing, whatever) your throwing up at work excuse. i can't believe i never thought of that!

Mon said...

#14! (me too!) awesome!

-jess said...

I love this list.... You're totally interesting.

Weary Hag said...

This is seriously one of the absolute BEST lists of 'stuff about me' that I've ever read. Inclusive, informative and quite the knee slapper.

Your blog rocks. Keep up the great work!

Weary Hag said...

And Jim on "The Office" ? Do you think he'd do an older woman?

Golightly said...

I thought I was the only one with a crush on Jim! I'll marry him, too! LOVE him.

"AG" said...

I listen to Christmas music year round.

I don't like Phil Collins. No lie.

I suck at math.

Sarah said...

You people rule.

Thanks, Weary Hag!! I've been reading your comments over at Johnny Virgil for a while now. :)

AG, I think I will allow your "I don't like Phil Collins" statement since you listen to X-mas music year round. I still think there's no possible way that there's not ONE Phil Collins song that you like. Including stuff by Genesis.

"AG" said...

Oh, I do like Gensis. Got me. :P

moreteavic said...

My friend told me to read your blog because it was cool. She was right.

And, if I may impart a personal anecdote . . . one of the first concerts I ever attended was Phil Collins. Of course, I got my parents to buy me a t-shirt, because I was in 9th grade and what's the use of going to a concert and NOT getting a t-shirt as proof. Now, this t-shirt had a giant silk-screened image of Phil Collins head. The first comment I got on it at school? "Who's that, your DAD?"

Despite this experience, I still enjoy his music.

this.is.damon said...

Good Lord ... hilarious. I might have to get tagged by you without your permission again :)

Wait, that would kind of mean you raped me or something ... I guess I'm ok with that.

Mr Furious said...

Came over from ORF's place. Good stuff. Love the list. Here's my Phil Collins testament.