Monday, March 05, 2007

My weekend in bullet points

- Went to Babies 'R' Us with Diane to buy presents for 3 upcoming baby showers and contracted baby fever in a big way.
- Spent last 10 minutes of shopping trip listening to baby scream at top of lungs. Baby fever tempered quite a bit.
- Spent 20 minutes trying to wrap especially large present. Let loose stream of obscenities in very close proximity to small children. Didn't care.

- Went to lunch with Diane, Matt and Steph. Had a mimosa.
- Went to the Great Lakes Science Center to see "Hurricane on the Bayou" in the OMNIMAX theater. It was about the wetlands of Louisiana and how they are disappearing and how they were affected by Hurrican Katrina.
- Steph, perhaps missing the point of the movie, said the movie made her want to drink hurricanes. She received no objections from Diane, Matt or me, and as a group we decided drinking hurricanes would honor the city of New Orleans.
- Decided that since we were maybe a little inappropriate immediately drinking after watching an important film that we would also use the drinking time to come up with a list of ideas for how we are going to change the world or at least support our new cause (wetlands).
- Before the drinks even came we created this amazing list (my comments in green):

Ways to Make the World Better

  • Elect (or if unelectable, make-out with) John Edwards to show support (I will leave the making out to Steph as I find John Edwards to be somewhat of a person who I don't find attractive in any way.)

  • Send $ to the girl in the movie

  • Send $ to preserve the wetlands

  • Buy the cd from the movie for the charity

  • Go on vacation to New Orleans and build things (Steph also said that if we just go there and drink and eat we will be helping their economy. I like how Steph thinks.)

  • Open a hospital

  • Eat beignets, cafĂ© au lait, and gumbo

  • Host a happy hour with hurricane drink specials, send donation money from happy hour (This is seriously a kick ass idea.)

  • Write Congress (I did not agree to this-Steph snuck it in there. But I guess it's a good idea so we'll leave it.)

  • Blog and finally use Sarah's voice for good (While mildly insulting, I gladly accept. Please help preserve the wetlands! Pleeeeeeaaaase?????)

  • Convince Punky Brewster to join our cause as celebrity spokesman (Our waitress at the bar looked like Punky Brewster. It's not like we are just always thinking about Punky Brewster and decided to use her. I mean I am usually thinking about her, but that's not really related.)

  • Get Mark Nolan fired for disputing the existence of global warming (Damn you, Mark Nolan. Don't you know how much you hurt Sharda with this crap?)

  • Go Yellow!

(I'm thinking if Leonardo DiCaprio sees our list, he may want to make out with us. So this is a win-win for everyone.)

- Exhausted after doing so much good will for the world, drank half a pitcher of strawberry daiquiries. Plus one.
- Drew, Gordo and Meg joined us. Drew called Gordo "Gordonzola". It stuck.
- I said the sentence, "I need to go home and put on my boa and underpants." in all seriousness.
- Went home and got ready for party #1 of the night-AJ's 30th bday party. Started to have sameday hangover.
- Ate fish 'n' chips and drank amaretto sours at AJ's bday dinner. Buzz started to come back at alarmingly fast rate.
- Put on beads and Mardi Gras underpants for Aloyd's Mardi Gras party (thus the reason for the boa/underpants comment above). Underpants were to be decorated and worn on top of your clothes. They had happy/sad (comedy/tragedy) faces on them. I put a happy picture of Matt and a sad picture of Gordonzola on mine for decoration. Wore them around neck.
- Drank wine. Pictures now exist of me playing a kazoo while wearing approximately 7 lbs of beads, a mask and basically this hat:

- Aloyd let me keep the hat.
- Alienated Diane, Drew and Gordonzola by playing kazoo the entire car ride home.
- Somehow have Gordon's black cauldron in my trunk. This is not a euphemism of any kind. I have a cauldron in my trunk.


Johnny Virgil said...

ooooh, I hateses the same day hangover.

sharda said...

I own a pin that reads "hot chicks dig john edwards". ...And I do.

thank you for calling out mark nolan on my behalf. my heart still hurts a little from his betrayal.

Sgt said...

If drinking Hurricanes after watching the movie is bad... I'm in big trouble, because I spent plenty of time at Pat-O's drinking hurricanes while in New Orleans the last few weeks.

I suppose I could classify it as economic revitalization as suggested. As always, thanks for your blog being such a moral compass.

Skeezix said...

I, too, wouldn't mind making out with John Edwards. Especially if I can do it while small children poke that fucking bitch Ann Coulter in the larynx with sharp sticks.

John said...

I'm pretty sure global warming is complete and total horse shit. Or at least I was until the Cleveland weatherman agreed.

Beth said...

man, I have GOT to party with you sometime! you have FUN!

And I hate Mark Nolan too...

ThatGirl7278 said...

Just curious... did your waitress look like Punky Brewster from the show or like she does now?

russ said...

I think it's reasonably ok that John, someone with no professional interest in the weather chooses to be skeptical about global warming.

Actually I think it's kinda silly in the face of scientific consensus, but I'm sure he's done about the same level of research into it that I have. Zero. I just have the willingness to trust in the scientific community (I love how Nolan or one of those Cleveland Weather Buffoons said that there's only 100 years of data... it's amazing what those scientist can't figure out when it's their full time job to study it! Arctic core samples used to project back thousands of years must not be relevant cuz the guy from the Wooly Bear festival pointed out our error!) and a willingness to say "OK, so even if we're wrong about global warming and we put some burden on companies to clean up their act, the economy will roll on".

Not to put this point of view on Prnuty, but I found it interesting that the Repubs are fine with putting extra burdens on companies... for phantom security reasons. While discussing all the regulatory and wiretapping stuff they'd like to do on the Intertubes, it was brought up that there were millions if not billions of extra dollars spent in building out the Ma Bell infrastructure so the FBI could listen in (hopefully when they're given authority, possibly all the time).

Anyway, it's not absurd that John is skeptical, but it's positively backwards that these people who are supposed to be informing us about the weather haven't bothered to look into what the papers say. They have the same bias as the man on the street ("only 100 years of data" and "it's hubris to think we can affect the earth" and "mother nature takes care of herself") and have taken no steps to do further research. Must have their collective heads up their Dopplers.


Anonymous said...

I heart Russ. -steph

russ said...

That's so sweet.

You're welcome to <other body part> me as well as long as it isn't a joint (i.e. elbow or knee). Yeah, nothing bony or jutting.