Wednesday, March 28, 2007

March Sadness

Oh, you guys. This one stings. I was kicking all kinds of ass in one of my brackets. I didn't even want to write about it at the risk of jinxing it. And then it happened-I got screwed because no one in the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament wants me to win ever. And so it is with a heavy heart that I present to you my 2007 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament poem:

"Agricultural & Mechanical? More like Agriclusterfuckural & Megasuckical. Yeah I said it." by Okay Seriously

It's over for me this year
Because of only one offender
I'll be winning no money
No cash. No legal tender.

Oh, A&M, you wound me
I'm way past being fixed
Was it just too much to ask
For you to get sixty-six?

Thought Wisconsin had ruined me
And yet I persevered
Then you came along
And jumped right up my rear

I mean I was way ahead
Was winning by a ton
In fact if you hadn't effed me
I probably would've won

Could go for the obvious joke
About what the hell's an Aggie
And how maybe you should change it
To the Texas A&M Faggies

But I won't go that low
I won't be a name caller
Just kidding-you guys are aholes
Now give me fifty dollars

This is what I get for straying
Should've stuck with the Bucks
I guess I'm just a whore
Because I sure like getting fucked


Previous year's poems can be found here, here, here and here.

10 comments:

russ said...

Did you know that in Texas they use "Aggies" in "Polish" jokes? As in "How many Aggies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"

Carly said...

awesome

Anonymous said...

I would feel bad for you, but you went against the Buckeyes. Your sister is rooting against them too this weekend for bracket purposes. I can't support friends that make unhealthy decisions. Just look at this as a life lesson. -Steph

Sarah said...

Steph, consider me humbled. I have learned my lesson that is for sure. On my other bracket I picked Ohio State to win the whole damn thing, but I did so badly on all my other picks that there's no way I can win that one either. Dammit March Madness. Why do you torment me so?

urban princess said...

Sorry you lost but damn I love your poetry!

Violet said...

Oh my gosh, I effing love you!!! I'm so happy you wrote your poem!

russ said...

BTW -- I just got back from a ten day vacay and am catching up on the Tivo. Lost is getting a bit better with the progress, but WTF with Rousseau interrupting Mikhail talking about knowing Locke??

Also, did you catch the Grey's reference on last week's Scrubs? Funny, and I don't even watch GA.

Lastly, I just finished the season of Battlestar Galacatica. Admittedly it's geeky to admit watching a show based on a 70's Star Wars ripoff referencing greek gods and starring Dirk Benedict, but this is _the best show on Tv_. It was a tough season, with more unevenness than either of the previous two, but the finale is effing amazing. And since it won't be on again until 2008, it's everyone's job to get the DVDs by then.

Get on with it!

Sarah said...

Urban Princess and Violet, I love you guys.

Russ, I did see the Grey's reference on Scrubs, and it was freaking hysterical. Or should I say, frakking hysterical. Oh yes I did. Scott asks every single person within a 10 foot radius if they watch Battlestar Galacatica because he is looking for another nerd with which he can talk about the show. Maybe you guys could be non-gay BG pen pals who are really gay.

Here's the extent of my knowledge on BG:
1. frak (referenced above)
2. The hot girl/cyborg/alien/wtf, Number Six, was on "Supernatural" 2 weeks ago.

Lindystar said...

Talent indeed, sorry you have to be one of those tortured artists. Hey your a drunk too right? Hemingway watch out.

Tom said...

OH HELL YES NIKKI'S DEAD. WAY TO GO LOST WRITERS! WOOOOOO!! BEST BEGINING EVER.

Next up Carlos, or whatever his name is.

WOO. Can't wait for the recap!BAM