Friday, March 24, 2006

March Madness 2006

It's that time of year again-time to unleash my anger on certain teams who have screwed me out of money in my NCAA tournament brackets. Last night I took some serious hits. The only way to truly express anger eloquently and with class is to write an offensive poem about it. With that I present my 2006 NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament poem*:

"Holy crap, Duke, I hate you-amongst others" by Okay Seriously

Oklahoma, we've been here before.
Cuz of you I'm once again poor.
You keep on losing
So I keep on boozing.
Goddammit you're still a big whore.

Kansas, thought you'd go kinda far.
I didn't mean back home in a car.
You lost so sadly.
Who the fuck is Bradley?
You must've left your balls in a jar.

Gonzaga, I don't know what to say.
How could you hurt me this way?
Once again you left me.
Once again you effed me.
But I think Duke is even more gay.

Duke holy crap you're the worst.
I hate you so much I could burst.
Had you in the top two
You big piece of poo.
I swear my bracket's now cursed.

Was really sure that you were a lock.
But now I'd like to show you my glock.
Thought our problems would mend over.
Then you told me to bend over.
Why don't you go eat a cock.

*Special Note: If UConn loses before the championship game, there will be an unprecedented second entry into the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament Poetry Hall of Fame.


Third-rate Associate said...

Adam Morrison, your moustache is a disgrace;
if you'd made a shot in the last three minutes, you might've saved face.
The thing is, that you look like a taller Gilligan from the Isle;
And you play like a dumber Gomer Pyle.

Ah, Mr. Redick, you play like a chump,
I'd watch it when you and the Landlord chest thump;
I'm not sure, but I think maybe,
You might be pregnant with Sheldon's baby.


John said...

awesome and awesome

Marianne said...

This really made my day.

Thank you.

I will be nominating you for sainthood soon.

russ said...

I called all the games last night... except I had Pitt over Memphis, so that was already effed.

My chances just notched up from .001% to maybe 2%. W00t!

Diane said...

This is amazing! Why are you so good at writing poems!?

Anonymous said...

This is unrelated, but you have to watch the TV Land awards. Most of Grey's Anatomy cast is on and there is a whole spoof of the unexploded canon episode.

Carly said...

I'm watching UC / GMU now thinking it's POETRY TIME, baby!!

Oh, that girl. said...

Waiting for the new poem. It brings back memories of when I first found your site.