Thursday, March 09, 2006

I still got it...kind of

Conversation with guy on street corner blatantly staring me up and down for-literally-a good 2 minutes straight while we waited for the walk signal:

[We start walking]

Him: Goin' to lunch?

Me: Yep!

Him: Are you going by yourself?

Me: No I'm meeting some friends.

Me (thinking): Sorry you won't be able to rape me!

Him: Where's your boyfriend?

Me, finally getting it: Haha-I don't have a boyfriend.

Him: Are you looking for one?

Me, in panic mode because I never know how to answer this completely absurd question: No. Not really.

Him: Aw-why not?

Me, lying through my teeth: Oh I very recently went through a pretty bad break-up.

Him: Oh-my girlfriend and I broke up about a year ago.

Me: Oh I'm sorry.

Him: Blah blah ranting and raving about ex-girlfriend being crazy he doesn't want to get back with that blah blah blah.

Me: Oh-there's my friend Scott! It was nice to meet you!

He couldn't have been more than about 20 years old and had an almost debilitating stutter that I could not capture in the above re-enactment. However, I would like to thank him for boosting my self esteem for the day. Next time, kiddo, don't be such a creepy Staring McStaringson. That's all I'm saying.

P.S As an epilogue to the Yanni discussion take a look at this picture:

Diane, Steph and Kim took a picture of this and sent it out as their Christmas card. Next to the picture it said, "Merry Christmas and Happy Yannikkah!" I am never taking it down off my refrigerator.

P.P.S. Happy Birthday, Gordo! It's tomorrow-or today. Depends on when you're reading this. His birthday is the 10th. He'll be 68. Or something like that. Have a great day. Don't break any hips.


russ said...

You total hor, you made me LOL. Literally. OK, maybe it was your sister and roomies, cuz 'Yannikkah' is frickin high-larious.

Anonymous said...

you know, i think these "standards" are simply getting in the way of your getting some lovin'...he sounds super dreamy

and yes, that holiday card was our finest work, better than when we dressed up as christmas characters the year before. -steph

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

How the conversation should have gone:

[We start walking]

Him: Goin' to lunch?

Me: Hey player, fuck off.