Ad nauseam

I know it's easy to make fun of commercials, but tonight I spent a lot of time on my couch watching TV, and there are things that are bothering me. They need to be discussed. Because I am annoyed. First of all, there seems to be an alarming trend of using sharks in advertising. I have seen two for cars, one for insurance, one for McDonald's and one for, I think, Mountain Dew where a guy is actually riding a shark. Um...is this necessary, world of advertising? How is using a terrifying man-eater good for sales? Why don't you just use some video footage of Jeffrey Dahmer? I'm just saying.

Second, the commercials for air fresheners-the kind that plug into the wall and have a little fan. They always show a regular air freshener sans fan plugged into the wall and some homeowner going completely batshit just to spread the smell around the room (i.e., riding a bike which is powering a giant industrial fan in front of the air freshener or tying a paper fan to a dog's tail and feeding it treats so it's tail will wag in front of the air freshener. I feel ridiculous just writing that.). Then the spouse of the insane-o plugs in the good air freshener with the fan, and little cartoon flowers fly out of it and are evenly distributed around the room. My problem with this commercial is if it's that important that you have an air freshener with a fan on at all times, maybe you should spend less time trying to figure out a way to keep the smell moving and more time trying to locate what the hell smells so bad in your house that you need to have an air freshener with a fan on at all times.

Lastly, I hate Excedrin commercials. They freak me out. Why in the world do we need to be so close up to a stranger's face while they discuss-way too seriously, I might add-the merits of Excedrin. Honestly these people couldn't be more annoying. They really need to focus their intensity on something more important than over-the-counter headache medication. I'm just saying they probably aren't much fun at a party. I imagine they get all up in your face around the shrimp tray, "Do you know... [intense staring deep into your eyes and through your soul] what it's like to have an allergy to shellfish?"