The shows have been watched. Yikes, people. We need to talk.

Lost
I thought it was excellent. It didn't advance the story much, but it was still good. First of all, I spent the entire episode crying my eyes out thinking that Charlie was going to die at the end. Some people don't like him anymore, but I do, and watching those flashbacks it became pretty clear that despite his many issues, Charlie really was a pretty good guy in his life off the island. I didn't realize that the lady whose purse he saved was Sayid's Nadia. I read about it the next day. I knew she had to be important because they focused in on her so much, but we haven't seen Nadia in like 17 years so I forgot what she looked like.

Desmond offering to go in Charlie's place was so touching. I knew Charlie would never let it happen, but it was still a really nice moment. These two men have grown close, and it's awesome.

Of course after I cried for an hour, Charlie didn't even die. Thank goodness. But who are the Sydney Bristow clones on the Looking Glass? How long have they been there? They have to be totally insane by this point, right? Looks like it might be Desmond to the rescue this week which is lovely. Christian asked a good question in the comments. Why didn't they just cut the cable to the looking glass? JV's answer was that he didn't think it was a power cable so it probably wouldn't have done any good. So now I'm just picturing that cable being tied around a tree and that's how the looking glass stays put. I know it's not true because I saw how it was standing on the bottom of the ocean. But can you imagine. It's only sitting out there because someone tied it to a tree. "Don't worry-I double knotted it so you'll be fine."

Ben's completely losing it, and it's fantastic. Even his own people are like, "Mkay-what the hell is wrong with this guy." They don't want to listen to you, Ben. Because you're insane. Guy who plays Ben = awesome actor.

Is there any question that Jack is and always will be the leader? NO! Everyone better stop being suspicious of him -he's the effing man! "When they show up, we're gonna blow 'em all to hell." Hell YES, Jack! I love how he said, "Look-for 90 days I've been asked to make decisions for this entire camp. There you go. I just made one." That's right, bitches. Respect his authoritah. You are hot, Jack. A hot leader. Also I'm so glad Jack listened to Sayid when he told him he had to lead the people out of harm's way and couldn't stay to do the shooting. He was right. Jack's too valuable. I swear to God if they kill Sayid, Jin or Bernard on Wednesday I'm going to lose it.

Juliet, you have been removed from my shit list temporarily. You are now on my "Allowed to live but I am watching your every move so don't try anything" list.

Um...previews for next week. Jack says I love you to Kate???? This better not be preview editing trickery, Lost writers, or I will open a can of whoop-ass on you. Also: bring Locke back please.

The Office
If I tried to recap everything that was awesome, I would be writing a verbatim script of the entire episode. Let me just say that Creed is fantastic. First of all he has a blog. "www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts. Check it out." Love how it's just a Word document that Ryan opened up. Brilliant. Also after they see Jan's boob job (hilarious), Creed says, "I find it offensive. Au natural, baby. That's how I like 'em. Swing low sweet chariots." Holy crap I lost it.

I love how Jan is completely losing her mind. Who would've thought that Michael would be the normal one in the relationship. It was so funny when Jan had her outburst at David about being fired, and Michael was hiding in the background then he goes, "I didn't tell her."

The interview between Dwight and Andy was priceless. As soon as Dwight was announced the Regional Manager, Andy immediately started sucking up to him. "How do you make a table?" "You make a chair, but you don't sit on it." "You're not off to a very good start, Bernard." "I agree. But in another way, I am off to a very good start, wouldn’t you say?"

I love the new badass Pam. She's so awesome. I totally get why Karen called her a bitch, though. From her perspective, Pam really is a bitch. But, Karen, if you call my Pam a bitch again I'm going to have to cut you.

I did not see it coming that Ryan that would get the job. What a great twist. Now he'll be Michael's boss. His smile to the camera after he said to Kelly, "You and I are done." was priceless.

I just want to mention that I love that this show throws things in like when Michael went into his interview, David made a point to mention how amazing it was that after the merger Michael didn't lose one client, and he still managed to trim the budget. It's good writing that they are constantly putting these small things out here to remind us why Michael still has a job despite being a complete moron/HR nightmare.

Oh Pam and Jim. Sigh. I'm still smiling, you guys. She put a note in his stuff with a gold medal from the Olympics episode! You see, Karen? She is not a bitch. She is the sweetest person on Earth. My God I love them together so much. He came back for her, you guys! Did he just leave Karen in NYC? Awesome! Diane feels bad for Karen. I do not. She is nice and everything, but she needs to get out of Jim's and my face. When he burst into the room to ask Pam out to dinner and said, "It's a date." I lost. my. mind. Her face afterwards-holy crap. She was so happy. So was I, Pam. So was I.

Other highlights:
- Angela in her evil voice: "Goodbye, Kelly Kapur."
- Dwight's Bed and Breakfast in hell that he co-owns with Satan.
- Meredith about Jan's boob job: "I would never do that. Waste of money. In my experience, guys are way more attracted to the back of you then to the front."
- Michael to Hunter: "Can you give Jan a message for me? Just say 'I want to squeeze them.' It's code. She'll know what it means."
- Dwight naming Pam his Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager. Then later telling her she served the office with dignity.
- Schrute Bucks. "What is the cash value of a Schrute Buck?"
- "Good luck with your band. Don't let them change you."

Grey's
Okay, you guys. I don't know how much more I can take of this show. First of all, life just isn't that depressing and awful all of the time to every single person. I felt like I was watching "Party of Five" again-a show I had to stop watching even though Charlie Salinger was on it because it just became too hard to watch. That many bad things do not happen to one family. I think my biggest problem is that they basically tore down every single person in the show. The Grey's blog said they "burnt down the house". For what purpose? It makes no sense unless the sole reason the writers write anything is to shock the audience and garner ratings. That's what I'm afraid this show has become about to me. And that's not good writing. It's a cop out.

Izzie's in love with George. Please. I won't bore you guys with my feelings on this again. It appears, however, that the writers don't care that it's horrible and incestuous and will continue on with this ludicrous storyline. Incidentally, Izzie falls in love faster than it takes me to eat a can of Salt & Vinegar Pringles. And let me tell you-that is really fast.

Alex and Ava. You've got to be kidding me. I was just praising the show for not taking that storyline the way of Izzie and Denny, and now Addison is telling him Ava's the one for him? WHAT? Horrible horrible horrible.

My feelings about Bailey not getting Chief Resident and George not passing the exam are the same. Why spend the last 3 years making a point to say how awesome they are just to deny them later. For 3 years they've called Bailey "the chosen one". It is completely unrealistic that she wouldn't get the Chief Resident job. Completely and utterly unrealistic. And failing George? What? Writers, literally at every moment that you could you have shown George quickly developing into a talented and confident doctor. Then you fail him? That has to be one of the cheapest shots I've ever seen on television. Your development of his character as a doctor, I thought, was brilliant. Why in the world would you ruin that. It makes no sense. More proof this season is not about good writing or good character development. It's about creating drama where there doesn't need to be any.

Chief and Adele. I liked that they made the baby the chief's. That was pretty much the only thing I liked about this episode. I'm glad the chief and Adele are going to try to make things work. The only relationship with any hope. Also, I'm glad the chief offered the Chief of Surgery job to McDreamy. He deserved it. But you knew McDreamy wasn't going to take it. I'm so happy the chief won't be leaving the show. I love him.

Meredith and McDreamy. Meredith has consistently had a crappy life so I have allowed all the drama there. I feel so bad for her. She has never been able to count on anyone. However, now she can. It's unbelievable to me that someone who's been searching for love her whole life and now finally has it would be so quick to push it away. Do not break them up, writers.

Christina and Burke. Pretty much I have no idea what to say here, writers. Breaking them up may have been your worst idea yet. Relationships require compromise. That is a fact of life. It cannot be avoided. You say Christina was giving up all of herself. I didn't see that. All she had to do was get through the wedding so she was doing what she had to do to accomplish that so she and Burke could be together. If you care about someone you make sacrifices to make it work. Now I do agree he should have been thinking about her needs more and should have compromised more. Which is why it would've been so much more realistic if you had him walking to the back of the church and saying, "Let's run away and get married somewhere." But breaking them up was another cheap shot.

I will say that Sandra Oh's acting was brilliant. Her panic attack was painful to watch. If you ever wanted an idea of how I reacted when B left, that was it almost to a tee. I had one of those moments at least once a week for a few months. I hated seeing it on TV. I guess that just means it was uncomfortably realistic.

Grey's writers, I really don't know what to say. I think you've really dug yourself into a hole here, and I'm not sure you can redeem yourself in my eyes. I guess I will have to tune in to the beginning of next season to find out, but I can't promise I'll stick around. You've managed to take a fun, sexy, smart show and turn it into a depressing mess. Maybe I will forgive you if we get another towel scene with McSteamy. And some naked Alex.

Best Scrubs moments:

Dr. Cox and Turk are explaining to JD how being a father will change his entire life:
Cox: Listen, Newbie, having a kid changes the way you think about everything.
Turk: Hell yeah it does. Before Izzie was born if I saw a half eaten meatball sub in the trash you better believe I would dust that bad boy off and go to town on it. But now I'm not risking my health eating trash food. I mean unless it's a corn dog.
Cox: Thank God you procreated. Newbie, the point is when that kid comes, you'll start seeing the world a whole lot differently.
Turk: You develop patience.
Cox: You learn to forgive easier.
Turk: If you got baby poop on your thumb, it's no big deal. You can just rub it off on your jeans like that.
Cox: I've seen The Wiggles live in concert. Twice.
Turk: Did they perform "Big Red Car"?
Cox: They opened and closed the show with it. It…was awesome.

Cox is complaining about JD being his daughter's godfather.
Cox: Jordan, here are some things I'd rather see happen than Dinkus over there becoming the godfather: a nuclear war, a sequel to "Hope Floats", Hugh Jackman winning an Oscar-"
Kelso, patting Cox's shoulder: Yeah. Yeah. Funny long list. We get it. You need a new thing, big guy.