Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Some quotes for you

"I have a secret to tell you: I'm going to down this." - Renee, 5 hours in to her bachelorette party Saturday night, right before chugging a Grey Goose martini. 45 minutes later we would begin Phase 1 of her announced plan. Phase 1 = go home. Phase 2 = puke.

"Thanks for cumming! Hope these aren't the only things you'll blow tonight." - Message on the little packs of favors innocent Shannon made for the bachelorette party-goers. Included in the favors: 3 penis cookies in small, medium and large (the large one was chocolate-obviously) and a Blo-Pop. Shannon! Are you going to kiss your baby with that mouth??

"Oh-I got rid of that meanie." - My great uncle Fred referring to one of his ex-wives after I had relayed a memory I had of them coming to our house in an RV 20 years ago.

"Now all we need to do is get you married. We should try to do that before I kick the bucket." - My grandpa to yours truly at his and my grandma's 65th anniversary party*. Grandpa, you're a sicko, but thanks for the added pressure.

*Yes-65 years. Holy crap. Grandma and Grandpa, I should only be so lucky. You two are amazing. I love you! Love, Corky.

6 comments:

Sassy Blondie said...

I'll just go ahead and say thanks for that, Sarah. I needed a good laugh!

And my family says what your grandfather said at every event and non event. Pressure? You ain't seen nothing yet, sister!

Lindystar the HOR blogger said...

Those.
Bastards.

Here at my job they have taken away Yahoo Mail, Myspace, Facebook, U-tube and literotica. Also anything that has the words "Games, sex, or fun" in it. Not all at once, just kind of a graduall loss. Kind of like a man losing his hair, very very depressing.

I worry every day that blogger will be next.

I am sorry for your loss.

(btw thanx for exp. on John, I think I get it now ;)

CruiserMel said...

Kick the bucket? I haven't heard that in a long long time. LOL I had to actually think what that could mean. Funny grandpa you have there.

Skeezix said...

Somehow I got my grandparents to give up on asking me about my love life. Perhaps it was the stoney silence I met their questions with, or that I slapped them across their faces every time they asked me.

I think Renee's plan was brilliant.

Nessa said...

This post has magically transformed you into Bridget Jones in my head.

For the record, I now expect you to go to thailand and eat a magic mushroom omelette.

Call me once you have, okay?

Kiss, kiss -

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