Tuesday, February 12, 2008

How about the greatest picture ever taken with a side of Lost recap?

It's true-I have been avoiding you until I got a chance to watch Lost. I'm sorry. I know it's childish, but I didn't want to show up here all like 'Hey here's what happened this weekend blah blah blah martinis blah blah wasted by 6pm blah blah dude at bar told Sharda she had the smallest ears he's ever seen, etc.' pretending like Lost never happened when I knew you guys would be like, 'Is there a Lost post in our future or what? Because what is up with the guy who talks to dead people seriously.' So I watched it. We will discuss in a minute.

There really isn't more to the story about that guy telling Sharda she had the smallest ears ever. He was just some drunk dude at a bar who made it a point to stop by and tell her that. Then he proceeded to walk a small distance from her and say, "Can you even hear me right now?" If this is mens' idea of flirting, we are all in trouble, ladies.

Saturday I went cake* tasting with my sister and Drew to look for wedding cake. Other people who came: my parents, Drew's brother, Meg. We have been cake tasting 3 times. Each time with no less than 4 people. I mean really. Free cake, you guys. It's awesome.

After cake tasting we went to the Cleveland Home and Garden show. I believe I've spoken about this before. It's basically just a big giant room filled with booths of people selling home-related stuff like windows, furniture, gardening stuff and denim shirts with giant pictures of eagles and wolves on them. Yeah once you get to the back of the show it's just a bunch of people selling crap that you can't even believe someone actually took the time to create in the first place. There was one whole booth of just puffy nail files with like little charms in the puffy part. WTF. Why. Why on earth is someone wasting their time on this. I'll tell you why: cuz somewhere there's some effing douche actually spending their disposable income on it.

There are just certain things you expect to see at this Home & Garden show. Booths with crap normal people would never buy is one of them. Other things include Amish people, dude walking around with a cape on and camel rides. Obviously these are all things I saw. But then I saw something I've never seen before. Something only the lucky few of us will ever see in a lifetime. I saw this:

So many people I've showed this picture to have said, "What is that, hor? I don't get it." It's that guy's actual hair. I am not even shitting you. At first when I saw it, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to reach out and touch it to see if it was real. Then I was afraid it would bite me. So I did the only thing I could do. I grabbed my cell phone and took like 17 pictures of it. Can you believe this? No. You can't. Johnnie Virgil's exact response to this picture: "Holy Portuguese man-of-war Batman." Amen, JV. PS this guy was wearing a long black leather jacket with fringe. Obviously.

Okay so Lost. *Spoilers ahead* What are we officially calling these new people from the ship? Shippies? Other Others? I guess I'll just call them shippies for now. I have to say-I think they're all pretty cool. The guy who talks to dead people is totally going to be awesome on this show, don't you think? There are so many dead people for him to talk to. Plus there are people who die and come back alive (Eye Patch) and a person only a few can see (Jacob). I see so much potential for this character.

The skinny squirrely dude who plays a skinny squirrely dude in every single movie I've seen him in, freaks me out a little. I can't tell if he's really good and will end up helping our Losties or if he's just playing them by acting a little weak and will really end up effing them.

The chick's a little annoying. But obviously she knows something about Dharma because she found that collar on the polar bear skeleton in the desert. WTF!! Clearly the Dharma Initiative experimented not just on that island right? They probably had similar complexes in several parts of the world. Holy effing crap.

Lastly the pilot. Um...Jeff Fahey has not aged well. I'll just lay that out right now. Yikes, Jeff. However, in every movie I've seen him in-even when he's playing a good guy-he has like a little bit of a crazy look. Like you're not sure if you should really trust him or not. So I think that makes him perfect for this part. Plus he knew the plane pilot and was supposed to be flying the plane so you know he has emotional reasons for taking this new mission which will be interesting.

What do they want with Ben? Who is Ben's guy on the boat? Maybe it's skinny squirrely guy. That's kind of my feeling right now. Why is Ben still alive? How many ass beatings can that small old white guy take anyways? Why is Jack so hot? Are the Oceanic 6 going to get off the island in that helicopter? Locke has completely lost his mind, right? I mean he's still awesome, but yikes. And seriously "Walt saved me." WALT!? What! Why is that kid still around creeping everyone out? Go home, Walt! I like how they made a point to say that he was older and taller. That way if they bring him on again it's already explained. Also Sawyer's reaction was priceless, "Taller? You mean like a giant?" Awesome.

Oh one more thing: Creepy black guy? Still creepy.

*I almost did not write 'cake'. I first accidentally typed a word that is similar sounding and is another word for male genitalia. And I just want to say that I most certainly did not go around tasting those. Especially not with my parents in tow.


Sgt said...

Wow.. I think you've discovered a new breed of mullet.

The hydrozoa mullet.

Idea #527 said...

Had you explained what you saw, I don't think that I would have believed you. That really couldn't have been his hair! For a minute I thought "She took a picture of someone wearing a curly haired wig over the top of their straight hair." Because really, that would be the only possible explanation for it.

Sizzle said...

it looks like that guy has a chia pet on his head.

just, wow.

lengli said...

This photo is absolutely breathtaking and Johnnie Virgil sounds like my kind of elocutionist. How much time do you think that guy puts in to maintain such an impeccable creation?

Ineke said...


what kind of person was he with?
what did he have in his basket?


Stufsocker said...

Dude, I totally think Ben's man on the boat is Walt. Or maybe Michael. It's gotta be one of them, right?

Regarding the hair... can we get a few more angles? ;-) Is this a strange evolutionary misstep for the mullet-wearers of America? It boggles the mind.

Anonymous said...

that hair is scary!

citygirl said...

You are so right about Fahey! Man, I used to think he was kinda hot and suddenly he's like the little old man that lived in the shoe...Dammit Jeff!

Tracy said...

Holy shit! The pilot was Fahey?!

I saw his name in the credits and kept wondering when he was going to show up.

He's aged hard like Eric Roberts... eeeeuuuuu