We listened to some Ray Parker Jr. tonight

Weird things happen when 15 girls get together for a Christmas party. New, higher pitched sound levels are achieved, and there is a lot of simultaneous oohing and ahhing. Such was the case tonight at our girls Christmas celebration. There was a lot of food, presents, laughing, clapping, wine and Kim dancing like an elf. I'm not even sure what an elf dances like exactly, but whatever Kim was doing in the kitchen at the end of the night was probably the closest a human being has come to mirroring the moves of an elf.

Thanks to all the girls who came and made this such a fun night and thanks to Sharda for letting Diane and I bully her into hosting it at her new house. Sharda, even though you have the scariest Christmas decoration ever in your kitchen, your house is still beautiful. I mean obviously it's haunted by the spirit of Pixie the Demon Chipmunk Elf Thingie now, but it's still pretty.

P.S. Sometimes I'm like, 'I wonder what it would be like to have a 16 pound growth on my face.' Well, it turns out it's really not that fun. Look at this article. Look at that poor girl. Holy. Effing. Shit. Are you kidding me?? I am never complaining about having a zit again. If you're so inclined during this season of giving, you can donate money towards her $95,000 worth of surgeries by going here. If not, it doesn't mean you are a bad person. It just means you hate kids.

P.P.S. 16 pounds

P.P.P.S. I may have accidentally flung dog poop in my neighbor's yard tonight. I don't know what to do about it, though. I tried to get it back, but ended up causing more of a mess. Neighbor, I'm so sorry. It was not intentional I swear. I am NOT a poop flinger. See I was aiming for those people across the street-you know the ones that have a Hummer that has to sit in the driveway all the time because it doesn't fit in the garage? Anyway, I was aiming for them since I know it was their dog, but instead it went completely to my left and is now in that giant snow pile in your yard. You will have a nice surprise when it all thaws. Sorry again.