Monday, December 12, 2005

Wine mm good

I just want to start off by saying that each year I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and kindness bestowed upon me on my birthday. This year was no different. Thank you so much to everyone for making me feel so special.

So...I met someone. Steph introduced us Saturday night. His name is Bricco. Well, Bricco Riella Moscato d'Asti is his full name. Oh don't get too excited. It's not a person. It's a sparkling white wine. Steph took us to the Oenotria Wine Bar in Little Italy (which rules so much everyone who's reading this should drop what they are doing and go there immediately), and then she bought a bottle of my new boyfriend. I fell in love instantly. Holy crap is that stuff good. We will be getting married soon and will be registered at our favorite place: State Liquor Store.

We hung out with the owners and all their friends at the wine bar. I can't remember how we became part of their group. Oh wait yes I can--it's because they were in the middle of a conversation, and drunk Steph was leaning so close to their table straining to hear that I jokingly said, "Hey, Steph, why don't you just pull up a chair?" and the next thing I knew she and Becky were moving our table over to theirs so we could be one big table. Tony and Sherrie, I have no idea why you guys didn't kick us out, but thank you. And thanks for letting us play charades with you. And for giving us free wine. And for being amazing.

A special shout out goes to poor Tito, our server, who took some abuse from the 4 drunk girls including being informed by Steph that he was her lover and letting us butcher his full Puerto Rican first name by calling him Gertrude. By the way, Tito, you should know that Sandra Bernhard hates you.

Oh also I'd like to apologize to all of Matt's co-workers for not realizing Steph had snuck off to crash your company Christmas party until it was too late. When Sharda and I found her she was eating all your food and poking Matt's butt with a shish kabob skewer. Matt then told me she had stolen his Christmas gift. When I went to take it out of her purse without her noticing and ended up pulling out a roll of toilet paper instead, I knew it was time to go home. I found out later the toilet paper had been stolen from the restaurant bathroom. She said she took the toilet paper because the hole in the roll was ridiculously small and "stupid". Then she gave it to me so I could blog about it and "tell the world". Here's the thing: she was right. Look at this shit:

That dime is bigger than the hole. What the eff kind of toilet paper is this? What the eff kind of toilet paper holder does it fit on? I am confused.

Anyway, I had a great time on Saturday thanks to Steph, Becky and Sharda. We need to do that more often. And by that I mean let Steph drink herself into oblivion and then let her loose on the city.

This morning I received a text message on my phone: "I am missing my stolen tp! Did u take it?" Dammit Steph. You + wine bar = good times.

P.S. I would like to say hi to Becky's friend Jeff who I hear is about to become my new best friend. Hello, Jeffy (Becky said I could call you that)! As our first order of business, I think we should go to the wine bar. You don't like Sandra Bernhard, do you?


russ said...

I bet the mini-hole is meant to stop people from stealing it.


Anonymous said...

Whoa! Aren't you exagerrating Steph's state a bit...ok, you aren't. But, I did offer to be the designated driver before we left and would have remained sober. Sharda insisted I drink so it's kind of like you asked for it. And Tito was thrilled to hear MASH deemed us to be lovers. You are just upset you are marrying Woody and not Jack from Lost.

Also, you forgot to mention the waiter at dinner that was fawning all over you (I think, I don't speak Italian, but I think he proposed) Giving you all the extra cheese and free dessert are good signs that poor Woody has competition. I am moving to Little Italy. Send all my mail to Oenotria Wine Bar. -Steph

Sarah said...

Steph, I actually LEFT STUFF OUT about things that happened Saturday night. We will discuss later this week.

Anonymous said...

I had the best time with you people(Sarah, steph, sharda and Tito Tony Niko Guito Rico and crazy lady trying to match maker us. (Yes I will send all my single friends to your party on this Tuesday,January 14th, Februrary 13th, every friday and Christmas eve. You people are lovely and wonderful cheaters at cherades. I will marry all of your Italian children! I am thankful of your eductaing us on the making, tasting, and limits of wine drinking. It turns out 14 glasses was too much. Passing out fully clothed in a chimney of smoke leads to confusion in teh middle of night when one wakes up to pee. but I still love you and hope to see you soon! Becky

matt said...

well, i'm two hours into the day and nobody has commented about my drunk friends crashing the party yet. With any luck they were all so drunk they didn't even notice. Or I really don't care. But there was a moment of panic when I realized that Steph was no longer at the main bar, and was therefore at my Christmas party.

Rebecca said...

Do you mind if I borrow your boyfriend every once in a while? You know, a couple nights a week. You can have him during the day.

Azrael75 said...

Umm....Happy (belated) Birthday!!!!!!

ThatGirl7278 said...

That toilet paper roll is unbelievable. Only you have a picture of it - so I guess I'll have to believe it.

Liv said...

Happy Belated Birthday!! You have the same EXACT birthday as moi. I thought I was the only crazyfabulous one in existence.

Oliviasmommi said...

My brother used to steal those gigantic industrial rolls of toilet paper from the high school field house. They are like 2 feet wide with a little tiny hole in the middle like you showed. He was building up his stash for "TPing" houses.

jeff said...

. . .omigod sarah-- i don't know you but read your blog regularly (becky forwarded it to me w/ the caption 'i might have been ineberiated, but sarah is one of the funniest people i know'--i, however never thought she actually 'knew'you, in the literary, biblical, or any other sense-- so imagine my surprise when, days after celebrating my 29th birthday extravaganza, i'm reading vicariously about your experience and BAM!! there's the name 'Jeff' right up there in the lights of blogosphere!!!

--sarah, you DO rock and we'll have to meet soon!!!

birthday 'cheers'

Brenda said...

Hi Sarah - you dont know me - but OH how I feel that I know you. My roommate and I spend occasional evenings reading over your blog. I must say - you keep us entertained!
Thank you!