Wine bars...mm mm good

I just want to start off by saying that each year I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and kindness bestowed upon me on my birthday. This year was no different. Thank you so much to everyone for making me feel so special.

So...I met someone. Steph introduced us Saturday night. His name is Bricco. Well, Bricco Riella Moscato d'Asti is his full name. Oh don't get too excited. It's not a person. It's a sparkling white wine. Steph took us to the Oenotria Wine Bar in Little Italy (which rules so much everyone who's reading this should drop what they are doing and go there immediately), and then she bought a bottle of my new boyfriend. I fell in love instantly. Holy crap is that stuff good. We will be getting married soon and will be registered at our favorite place: State Liquor Store.

We hung out with the owners and all their friends at the wine bar. I can't remember how we became part of their group. Oh wait yes I can--it's because they were in the middle of a conversation, and drunk Steph was leaning so close to their table straining to hear that I jokingly said, "Hey, Steph, why don't you just pull up a chair?" and the next thing I knew she and Becky were moving our table over to theirs so we could be one big table. Tony and Sherrie, I have no idea why you guys didn't kick us out, but thank you. And thanks for letting us play charades with you. And for giving us free wine. And for being amazing.

A special shout out goes to poor Tito, our server, who took some abuse from the 4 drunk girls including being informed by Steph that he was her lover and letting us butcher his full Puerto Rican first name by calling him Gertrude. By the way, Tito, you should know that Sandra Bernhard hates you.

Oh also I'd like to apologize to all of Matt's co-workers for not realizing Steph had snuck off to crash your company Christmas party until it was too late. When Sharda and I found her she was eating all your food and poking Matt's butt with a shish kabob skewer. Matt then told me she had stolen his Christmas gift. When I went to take it out of her purse without her noticing and ended up pulling out a roll of toilet paper instead, I knew it was time to go home. I found out later the toilet paper had been stolen from the restaurant bathroom. She said she took the toilet paper because the hole in the roll was ridiculously small and "stupid". Then she gave it to me so I could blog about it and "tell the world". Here's the thing: she was right. Look at this shit:














That dime is bigger than the hole. What the eff kind of toilet paper is this? What the eff kind of toilet paper holder does it fit on? I am confused.

Anyway, I had a great time on Saturday thanks to Steph, Becky and Sharda. We need to do that more often. And by that I mean let Steph drink herself into oblivion and then let her loose on the city.

Epilogue
This morning I received a text message on my phone: "I am missing my stolen tp! Did u take it?" Dammit Steph. You + wine bar = good times.

P.S. I would like to say hi to Becky's friend Jeff who I hear is about to become my new best friend. Hello, Jeffy (Becky said I could call you that)! As our first order of business, I think we should go to the wine bar. You don't like Sandra Bernhard, do you?