New Year's seriously sucks. When I was younger it was the most amazing holiday ever-especially the year my mom and dad got us the New Kids on the Block concert on Pay-Per-View. But now it sucks. For one, there is nothing on Pay-Per-View anymore except wrestling. Boo. Second, there's always a lot of build-up, and it's never as awesome as you think it's going to be.
After about the age of 25 is when New Year's really starts to suck the most. At that age, people are starting to get together in serious relationships, and you start to slightly panic about being closer to 30 than 20. Pair that with the fact that New Year's actually has a built-in activity only for the people who have dates, and it quickly earns the title of Worst Holiday Ever. The part leading up to midnight is awesome, but once the ball drops, well, really I just want to go sit in a corner and throw stuff at people who are with someone.
Look I am a secure person. Would it be nice to have a boyfriend? Sure-I want someone to cook for me. Do I need a boyfriend? Absolutely not. I can get Diane to cook for me sometimes. But at New Year's, it's like a rule of the holiday or something that you have to have a date. And that really blows. Even Valentine's Day isn't that bad because it's not a for real holiday. Plus I can buy myself chocolates. I can't kiss myself at midnight-at least not without causing some serious injury to my neck. Or without being arrested.
I think I can sum it up best by quoting my friend Mike. A few years ago on New Year's Eve, we counted down, "...5...4...3...2...1!" and almost everyone around us started kissing-like junior high makeout party style-and Mike raised his glass and said, "God I hate my life" and downed an entire Jack and Coke. Yes-that is how I feel every effing midnight of every effing New Year's Eve.
The real rub is that 2 out of the past 3 New Year's, I actually had a boyfriend, but I didn't get to kiss him at midnight because he lived in stupid Baltimore. Stupid Baltimore-obsessed mofo.
All that being said, I have decided maybe this year will be different. I say that every year, but I really think it might this time.
1 - I am kissing everyone. I don't care who you are-I am kissing you. If you're near me, I'm coming for you. You've been warned (Woody).
2 - Our little group actually has a pretty solid base of single people, and we are a force to be reckoned with. And by that I mean we do not respect the sanctity of anyone's relationship and will make out with whoever we please.
3 - Diane bought me some Moscato D'Asti for Christmas. Hell yeah, Diane. You're a good little sister.
I don't want to sound like a total New Year's grinch. Despite it's suckiness, I do enjoy getting to spend this day with my friends, and I know this year will be fun. I hope everyone has an awesome holiday. Please be safe-no drinking and driving. Just do one or the other. And make sure the one you do is drinking.
I just received this email from Steph-things are looking up!
"I just learned…you are not allowed to do laundry or wash the dishes on New Years Day…if you do, you are washing away good luck (excuse to be slobs).
You are supposed to wear new shoes…(excuse to shop?) because it symbolizes what will come this year…new shoes show new outlook, fresh foot forward, whereas old shoes, repeat the same.
And kiss at midnight to show you have warmth…(I’m dead inside, suddenly I have an excuse to not have to kiss someone at midnight).
And make loud noise at midnight to scare away evil. Evil and the devil hate loud noises, hence the noisemakers. This is also good to know, because I am a very loud person which means the devil hates me*."
This is great info. I need new shoes.
*It's true, you guys, Steph is very loud.