Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Pomp and circumstance

My sister graduated from grad school this past Saturday. She and her friend Jennifer both graduated at the same time so they both walked at the request of their mothers (who I think just wanted an excuse to go out to eat together). Drew and I also attended to show our support despite our extreme annoyance at doing so. Let me just say, I hate graduation ceremonies. The speaker is always boring. In this case, I'm pretty sure the speaker was up there giving a recruitment pitch for his company.

Then there's always an announcement that families of the graduates should be as quiet as possible when their graduate's name is announced so that the family of the next person whose name is called can hear it. I like to take that time to scan the room and point out all the families that I know will not politely and quietly clap when their graduate's name is announced (I'm at about 90% accuracy). And about 30 seconds later it begins. The screaming, the "Alright, Nancy!!!!!", Arsenio Hall Woo-Woo cheer-all completely appropriate. For a football game. Seriously people I know you're excited and that this is a big moment in your family member's life, but did you really need to bring a whistle (this really happened on Saturday)? Honestly.

So now Diane has her MBA, and I am so proud of her. Lord knows I am never going back to school so I'm glad my parents have one ambitious child. I toyed with the idea of going back to school for about 15 seconds one day, and then I remembered how much I loathed going to class in college. And writing papers. And group projects which every professor says will give you "real world" experience, but I have yet to encounter a project at work where I have to go to someone's house and sit around while that one bitchy girl tries to steer the project her way which is never the way the prof wants it, everyone's always pissed at the one guy who never shows up to any group meetings, that one girl talks about her boyfriend the whole time and then 2 hours later I leave after getting nothing done. Wait-now that part is like real life.

Things I would rather do than go to grad school (sorry, Mom and Dad):
- Chew on tinfoil
- Sleep next to a mascot
- Have Tom Cruise's love child
- Hang out with Russell Crowe
- Give up Salt & Vinegar Pringles
- Work. Which is why I do.

This list goes on, really. I was going to say something about swimming with sharks, but I would totally rather go to grad school than swim with sharks.


Anonymous said...

You are totally missing out on a great title. I've gotten completely used to referring to your sister as Master Diane now. (by the way, is she making everyone else bow to her too now or is that just me?)-Dr. Steph.

Mon said...

That walk on stage is long enough without your family embaressing you! But it's pretty funny to watch the kids cringe!

russ said...

I'm amazed that Okay Seriously is preaching restraint in public.

Oh, that girl. said...

Congrats Diane. Okay Seriously, college is not meant for those of us who would much rather watch Television that learn new and intersting ways that society reacts to fads and fashions. Yeah, that was my latest assignment. Who really gives a shit. I am going to be an elementary teacher. How does this apply to me? I could understand if I was going to teach highschool or junior high, but seriously? Elementary school is all about trying to keep them from eating the glue.

ThatGirl7278 said...

Loved the accurate portrayal of group projects.

Congrats to your lil' sis.

"AG" said...

The group project thing- had too many of those in grad school. It was always as you described! Hated them.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

You nailed it on the head with the chewing of the tin foil. It's so much better than grad school.

Chick Pea said...

dude. chew on tin foil? love it.

i'm past grad school.. now in post grad..


if i could do it all over again...

what a swan song

spaceface said...

Holy crap, my little sister graduated on Saturday too...

And I hate graduation ceremonies.

And I hate people who attend graduation ceremonies.

Did any of YOUR obnoxious ones have AIRHORNS? Evidently, it is the newest craze in annoying ceremonial behavior.

Scotty 2 Hotty said...

Hey some graduation speakers are freakin' awesome. Here I'm referencing Jon Stewart, Will Ferrel, and myself. Hey, you said it. Anyway your description of the ceremony in general was pretty dead on. You DO always know which families are going to be nuisances at graudations. They're the ones that showed up with noise makers.

I kid you not. A family came to my graduation with New Year's Eve style noisemakers. Because their booming hoots and howls weren't enough.

Anyway, thanks for the props.

- Scott

Anonymous said...

Hanging out with Russ is actually a lot of fun.

russ said...

Hey thanks.

That was random.