Pomp and circumstance

My sister graduated from grad school this past Saturday. She and her friend Jennifer both graduated at the same time so they both walked at the request of their mothers (who I think just wanted an excuse to go out to eat together). Drew and I also attended to show our support despite our extreme annoyance at doing so. Let me just say, I hate graduation ceremonies. The speaker is always boring. In this case, I'm pretty sure the speaker was up there giving a recruitment pitch for his company.

Then there's always an announcement that families of the graduates should be as quiet as possible when their graduate's name is announced so that the family of the next person whose name is called can hear it. I like to take that time to scan the room and point out all the families that I know will not politely and quietly clap when their graduate's name is announced (I'm at about 90% accuracy). And about 30 seconds later it begins. The screaming, the "Alright, Nancy!!!!!", Arsenio Hall Woo-Woo cheer-all completely appropriate. For a football game. Seriously people I know you're excited and that this is a big moment in your family member's life, but did you really need to bring a whistle (this really happened on Saturday)? Honestly.

So now Diane has her MBA, and I am so proud of her. Lord knows I am never going back to school so I'm glad my parents have one ambitious child. I toyed with the idea of going back to school for about 15 seconds one day, and then I remembered how much I loathed going to class in college. And writing papers. And group projects which every professor says will give you "real world" experience, but I have yet to encounter a project at work where I have to go to someone's house and sit around while that one bitchy girl tries to steer the project her way which is never the way the prof wants it, everyone's always pissed at the one guy who never shows up to any group meetings, that one girl talks about her boyfriend the whole time and then 2 hours later I leave after getting nothing done. Wait-now that part is like real life.

Things I would rather do than go to grad school (sorry, Mom and Dad):
- Chew on tinfoil
- Sleep next to a mascot
- Have Tom Cruise's love child
- Hang out with Russell Crowe
- Give up Salt & Vinegar Pringles
- Work. Which is why I do.

This list goes on, really. I was going to say something about swimming with sharks, but I would totally rather go to grad school than swim with sharks.