Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Watch out, Diane

Some business to take care of: To my anonymous CAVS commenter-I am not ignoring the CAVS beating Detroit last night. I just don't want to talk too much about the CAVS being amazing because I'm afraid of jinxing them. Believe me-we will come back to this.

This weekend we went to Columbus for a variety of reasons, one of which was to support our friend Kim's fundraiser for Relay For Life. It was held at a bar, and after the official fundraising part of it, we were way too drunk to leave-and having too much fun. So we ended up staying all night and watching this band. Ho. Ly. Crap. I have one word: AWESOME. Being a huge fan of all things cheesy and all things hair band, I was in heaven. Son of Glam, you are amazing!

That night we stayed at Kim's house. Diane and Drew in one guest bedroom, me in another. In the middle of the night I was awakened from a dead sleep by someone shaking my foot and squeezing my toes. Then that someone started to crawl into bed with me.

For some reason (probably all the vodka) at first I didn't think anything of it. It seemed normal. Then I heard, "Baby, move over." It was a male voice. One I recognized. It was my sister's boyfriend, Drew.

"Oh hi, Drew, do you need a pillow?" I said. Then I threw one at him.

"No! Move over!"

"Drew? You know this is Sarah, right?"

"What?? Move over."

"Drew, this is Sarah. You're in the wrong room."

"Is this really Sarah?"


"Where's my room?"

"Over there," I said pointing to the wall next to me at which point Drew got up and walked right into the wall. Then I spent the next 5 minutes playing "Hot and Cold" with him to try and lead him out of my room and into his. This included one brief moment of elation for Drew when he thought he had found the door only really he had walked into the closet.

That is the closest I've ever come to sleeping with one of my sister's boyfriends. We raised the question what if I hadn't woken up and Drew had crawled into bed right next to me? As Kim said, "That would've been an awkward morning."

P.S. When Drew found out the name of the band was Son of Glam, he started telling people he was the cousin of glam. Dammit Drew.

P.P.S. Best line of tonight's "Scrubs" episode. I literally almost wet my pants. Carla is trying to convince Elliot not to dump her boyfriend because she thinks Elliot is doing the natural "freak-out" that sometimes comes in the early stages of a relationship.

Carla: Remember when I first started dating Turk, and I wanted to bail on him because he cried at the end of sex?

Turk (horrified): BABY!

JD: Relax, Brown Bear. There's no shame in crymaxing.


"AG" said...

That band looks so awesome! I love cheesy fun!

russ said...

I laughed aloud about 4 times to Scrubs. Incl. the "crymaxing" line.

"Is this really Sarah?"

This leads me to believe that occasionally Diane pretends to be you, which is what should really worry you.

Or turn you on.

Mon said...

That is friggin classic!!!

Anonymous said...

You know, when Diane and Drew first started dating, he would wander away in the middle of the night...sometimes, we would find him sleeping behind the couch in the living room, curled up on the floor. Diane used to bust into my room in the middle of the night to make sure he wasn't in my bed (which says something about her trust in me)...I'm just saying...what is Diane doing that makes Drew run away at night and try to find somewhere else to escape?

Also, I totally want to book that band! Amazing, they even do weddings! -Steph

ThatGirl7278 said...

At least he only shakes her foot and squeezes her toes when he crawls into bed.

I mean, he COULD have crawled into bed by spanking her (your) ass and pinching a butt cheek.

russ said...

And if that's the worst you can think of, you haven't spent enough time on the internet.

Tigerlily said...

p.s. Scrubs changed my life last night.

Crymaxing, so money

Johnny Virgil said...

Holy crap. Is that Toren? Baby! Welcome home.