Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I am a giant slot

So I just realized that I haven't mentioned that in three days, we are going to Vegas. I think I haven't mentioned it because we planned the trip so fast that it really hasn't sunk in that we are going yet. Until now. In fact I think it would be safe to say that I am officially freaking out. My freaking out is twofold, however.

1. It's effing Vegas, people! The happiest place on Earth. For alcoholics with gambling problems (i.e., my friends and I). There are 7 girls going which guarantees craziness and tomfoolery. Our beloved Steph isn't going, though, so no Steph in Vegas stories. Believe me I am just as disappointed as you.

2. Check out the weather for the days that we are there:

Um...excuse me? I don't do well when the thermometer goes above 80 degrees, let alone 100. ONE HUNDRED DEGREES. This is not good. And don't even give me the "it's a dry heat" line because all that means is that it feels like you are inside an oven, and I would wager a guess (since we're talking about gambling anyway) that you "it's a dry heat" people don't spend time inside your oven at home just for fun.

Despite my concerns about the heat, I am ridiculously excited. Last time I went, I gave you guys some tips for the Vegas beginner. Well I left a couple out.

- They still bring you free drinks when you play nickel slots. Keep that in mind, my budget-conscious friend.

- I know it's tempting to carry a fanny-pack, but resist the urge.

- Get out of my face with your stroller. Why did you bring your baby to Vegas? So they could get cancer from secondhand smoke? Seriously there's no reason for your baby to be in Vegas. He/she is really cute and I like to make ga-ga faces at him/her, but take him/her to Disneyland or someplace not filled with every sin in the Bible.

- Sharda once puked at 9pm and couldn't go out. That's not really a tip as much as it is a chance for me to tell the Internet that Sharda once got so drunk during the day and at dinner that she started puking at 9pm and couldn't go out with us. Awesome.

- This is a man:

This is a woman:

So...who wants to go with us?


Anonymous said...

I am coming off the wildest wedding weekend of my life, I'm exhausted, sick, and the thought of wine makes me gag days later...so why when I read this post was I so totally jealous and immediately want to sign up? I better get lots of texts messages and calls. -Steph

Reenie said...

Regarding the heat...imagine sitting in a hot bath and immersing your face in the water. Stinging burning sensation? That's what the air feels like when you step outside. Gotta love the dry heat.

sharda said...

Listen, here, it was 9:30 that I went to bed, not 9:00, and that was after a LOT of wine and a LOT of fun (diane, anita, and I -- in our drunken stupors -- may have gone on a spending spree at the magnet store inside Harrah's). Also I fell asleep watching election coverage on CNN. I mean, not many people are so in tune with governmental affairs while drunk....so stop trying to make me look all dorky to the internet.

Sarah said...

You're right, Sharda. Clearly you don't need my help in that regard.

Mon said...

So it wasn't hot enough for you this wknd? I melted. I'm actually in a pool of skin, but my fingers still work to type. Good luck w/the 100 degree weather. I'm sweating just thinking of it!

Yamell said...

At least you're not coming in July or August when it's 120. Oh good times.

h.justin said...

I just returned from Las Vegas last night. It was awesome. Have a great time. I posted pictures on my blog today.

russ said...

Play some blackjack, yo. Learn you soft doubles!

Anonymous said...

OMG! I just got back from Vegas last week. You need to get really drunk and go to the Venetian and take a Gondola Ride. Then you can sing along while rowing down the canal! Oops! Did I just tell you that? What goes on in Vegas, stays in Vegas - TG! No more tips from me, I can't give all my secrets away.

By the way, I hear there are some great Steph stories from the wedding. She did NOT get it out of her system when she was out with you. All you did was warm her up.

Aunt N

danielle said...

oh you know what, i'd like to go. is that ok?

mckay said...

have a blast. i'd love to go, but i'd have to bring my stroller boy ;-)....so NOT.

my tip: if craig ferguson is playing vegas that weekend, you MUST go see him. he cracks me up.

other tip: sit in the pool and drink sangrias :D

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Three words, Ellis Island Casino.

It's off the strip, and a trip back to 1974 Vegas. You site there, have a beer, and wait for Sammy and Frank to stop by. Sweet.

Yeah, it's tacky and old, but it's a nice change from the rest of Vegas.

Christian said...

I live less than six hours from Vegas but haven't been back since I lived there in '81. What is my problem?

Yeah, I'll go. Could use the cooler weather. Supposed to be 108 in PHX this weekend. Now I just need to find a sitter for the wife and kid - er - I mean the kid.

Have fun! Wish I could go with. - x.

Sarah said...

Yes! Christian! When I realized it was you commenting the other day I totally flipped out. How are you doing!? When I saw the weather forecast for Vegas, I immediately thought of you. How the hell do you do it?

P.S. to everyone - wish I could take you all with me!

Christian said...

PHX: Currently 96. Forcast for tomorrow: 111. It sucks. I am going to fill Julian's kiddie pool, sit in it under an umbrella, and look at my feet while Julian drives cars over them. I live in a house made of cinder blocks (I am not kidding on this) and they didn't bother to insulate the inside of the brick back in 1956 so our western wall where our bed is gets full exposure and the heat passes right through the brick like an oven and makes our bedroom a sweatlodge even with the A/C (we lived in a place like this once before and a bike was resting on the western wall and the foam handlebar grip melted to the wall). Gonna move rooms next weekend. But other than the duck butter running down the inside of my leg, things are good. I'm working at the hospice still, freelancing, hanging out with Julian and Debbie as much as possible, writing for my site, and smoking cigars on the back porch watching the evening sun light up Camelback mountain. Life is good, but I do miss everyone back in Cleveland very much and wish I could get out there soon, but money won't allow right now. I have to get some pics up sometime soon, Julian is so big now. Anyway, I really should just send a nice long e-mail. Hope you're having fun! Go Suns!