Tuesday, August 22, 2006

My weekend rainbow connection

Friday I had people over. Until the wee hours of the morning all we did was drink wine, eat and listen to 80's and 90's music. Oh and I made everyone listen to "Sexy Love" by Ne-Yo. It was one of those nights where you look back and say, "What the hell did we just do for 6 hours? And how come it was awesome?" Things almost came to blows when Jen and I started arguing about the merits of Taylor Dayne. Whereas I say she sucks, Jen says she doesn't. Apparently "Love Will Lead You Back" played an important role in a relationship Jen had in 6th grade or something. Also I sacrificed my body in order to provide my friends with beer bread. I was performing the dangerous task of removing the bread from the pan and putting it on the cooling rack while wearing Ove Gloves. Then this happened:

This is how good of a friend I am. When it happened, I believe Kim's exact quote, said through laughter, was, "Oh my God-you can't even take bread out of a pan. I mean that's all you had to do!" Then Diane told me I need a full body Ove Glove. I hate you guys.

Saturday I woke up to the sound of water leaking into my downstairs bathroom. What a lovely sight when I walked in there and saw that my walls were warped, and my ceiling was wet. I love when the air conditioner that I already had fixed 3 times still isn't fixed. I remained perfectly calm and kept my poise as I completely lost my fucking mind and almost started crying.

Saturday night we had birthday parties to go to. One had a chocolate fountain. I want to go on record saying that if I never marry or have children, but am able to have a chocolate fountain running at my house at all times, I think I would be okay with that. For Matt's birthday we went to Bier Markt in Ohio City where Loyd, Christy, Woody and I discussed the finer points of breast implants. After Bier Markt we went to Garage bar down the street which is a biker bar. There we watched a dirty, dirty slut try make out with random guys then try to make out with her friend who was a girl (this was the boys' favorite part) then get into a fight with a wedding party and then get kicked out. The most shocking part? It wasn't Steph. Perhaps the highlight of our time there was Matt's soaring rendition of "The Rainbow Connection" in the middle of a bar filled with bikers. Around the second verse he couldn't remember the words so he just started singing, "Something with a frog singing in a swamp!" Oh did I mention Matt was completely trashed?

On Sunday Matt and I went to the Palace Theater at Playhouse Square downtown and watched "The Muppet Movie". No I'm not kidding. When we walked in we realized we were the only adults there who didn't have kids. When we bought our tickets, we're pretty sure the ticket lady was looking around for our missing children, and we were just kind of like, "No it's just us-the dirty perverts." Matt bought a beer even though the thought of drinking it made him sick. He just wanted to say he drank a beer at "The Muppet Movie". I wish he was able to say, "I drank a beer and puked all over the kid in front of me at 'The Muppet Movie'", but that was not meant to be. We had so much fun, and I'm pretty sure we laughed harder than any other person (or child) in the theater. Seriously, Matty, thanks for inviting me and going with me, and consider me in for any and all future Muppet-related activities. P.S. Happy Birthday!


slcup said...

The Muppet Movie is a classic.

matt said...

Anytime Sarah. Sorry I didn't boot on any of the little kids though. I'll try harder next time.

Matthew said...

so, every monday or tuesday i know i can count on reading some bizarre tales of drunken debauchery and silliness. I look forward to it. You usually trump my weekends. This has led me to one conclusion. I am taking a road trip to Ohio so I can witness this first hand. im serious.

Adam said...

I'm less serious. Is anyone else concerned that if Sarah marries and has kids then this blog won't be as fun?

Anonymous said...

Please check your email- I sent you an invite to access my blog. I signed up for beta and set it to selected viewers only. This is temporary until recent vermin and crud crawls away.

Anonymous said...

What is beer bread?


Mon said...

I can't believe you got to see the Muppets on the big screen!!!!! Awesome! And drinking at the movies? That's worth the trip to Cleveland! I need to pay better attention to the goings on round here!

diane said...

you forgot to mention how you put together a book shelf for me after the muppets. That was probably the highlight of the weekend- can't believe you left it out.

Adam said...


There was bookshelf building?!?

Anonymous said...

I am glad you chose to
reVeal our conversatIon about the BrEast augmentation RAther Than OtheR thingS we talked about.

See that?!? It spells VIBRATORS!!

By the way, it just took me 20 minutes to figure out how to write it.

BEVIS said...

Yay! Muppets! You watched The Muppet Movie on MY birthday weekend? I can't help but think that wasn't a coincidence!

John said...

I have several things.
First - you were probably wearing "Oven Mitt" not Ove Gloves.
Second - Matthew poor poor Matthew, Sarah and I and others have a standing rule that any tool that goes by their formal name i.e. Matthew instead of Matt, is not allowed to hang out with us.
Third - ALoyd threw an extra capital E in there that didn't belong so it took him 20 minutes and he still blew it.


Matthew said...

dear jonathon,

how do you know that my name isnt matthewpher, and in fact, matthew IS the nickname?? kids these days...so quick to judge

Sarah said...

Lo, beer bread is amazing. The mix is from Tastefully Simple. You just add a bottle of beer. It is soooo good.

Diane and Adam, yes the bookshelf building was truly the highlight. Can't believe I left out the 4 hours mom and I spent on that and all the nails I broke and how mom displaced her kneecap. Good times.

Aloyd, that was awesome. I always knew you could accomplish great things if you just put your mind to it. My dad George McFly said that.

Bevis, that was for you!!!

John, sadly they really were Ove Gloves. They just weren't long enough. Like some other people I know.

Matthew, don't worry-John's really old so he gets cranky. Also if you are ready for drunk shenanigans just wait until after this weekend. Yikes.