PIB 2006

So this weekend was Put in Bay, and as usual it was insane. Friday night Steph won the "first to hook up" award by making out with a random drunk guy for like 2-3 hours while we were all sitting next to her. She even beat out our resident man-whore, Tony. However, Tony bounced back later on when he won the "first to show us his junk" category. Honestly he owns that category and always will.

Gordo also made out with someone that night: your mom. Apparently he met a, um, somewhat more mature lady and spent some time with her. She was only like 20 years older than him. I didn't see her, but Kim did, and she said she was pretty. But definitely in her mid-40's. I don't write this to offend any mid-40 ladies out there-obviously you are all hot chicas. And actually to the lady who Gordo made out with, way to go on making out with a 20-something guy. To Gordo, you totally made out with a cougar (please see the last definition listed).

Jokes ensued appropriately. For example,

Gordo (after taking some serious ribbing): Why'd I even come over here to this cabin?
Me: I don't know cuz the women are older over here?

That's how it went. Non-stop. And it will never ever stop.

Saturday we went to the winery on the island which is always my favorite part of the Put in Bay experience. While we were there, some drunk lady thought that Sharda looked like Elvis Presley's daughter so we all kind of just went with it. Sharda even did the lip sneer thingie to perfection. Maybe she is Elvis' daughter? The lady kept coming up and asking her questions like, "Are you rich?" (Sharda: "I don't like to talk about my money.") She even went so far as to say, after the lady walked away, "Gosh I thought we could get through the day without people recognizing me. I just want to live a normal life." Then the drunk lady asked her to sign her stomach. So she did:















This might've been the greatest moment of my life. Ten minutes after this happened, our friends Brian and Anita showed up at the winery, and immediately the lady asked Brian to sign her stomach. And he did without hesitation:















Then completely unprovoked she came over to me and signed my boob, "Kim was here." Why is the winery the happiest place on Earth. Seriously.

After the winery we went to get food, and we kept bugging this poor kid behind the counter. He was from Bulgaria and was there on a student exchange program. He was absolutely adorable, and somehow we got him to kiss Sharda. It was awesome. Diane kept calling him Bulgaria which we decided was rude since he had told us his name so we made her go into a timeout. So she went across the street, sat on someone's golf cart and kept screaming this Browns cheer we made up when we were like 8:

GO BROWNS! GO BROWNS!
MAKE A LOT OF TOUCHDOWNS!
GO TO THE SUPERBOWL AND WIN!

This is why Diane and I aren't cheerleaders.

When we got back to the cabin, Steph had the hiccups. We tried everything to get rid of them without success so she decided she needed to do a headstand. She went into the bedroom to do a headstand. She did it on the bed so she could lean on the wall. A minute later we heard a loud crash and a scream. Nobody ran to do anything. We just laughed. I went in the room a half hour later, and Steph was laying on the ground in the middle of the twin beds covered in my sleeping bag and pillow. She had sort of fallen asleep in the middle of the headstand and fell completely off the bed. So she just reached up, grabbed my sleeping bag and pillow and went to sleep. I'm just saying that’s pretty normal.

Other highlights:
- Loyd jumping out of the cab yelling, "I'm gonna boot!!" and then almost puking in the grass.
- Drew opening the bathroom door and saying, "Hey-I need your opinion. Should I boot or not boot?" Us answering, "Boot-you'll feel better in the morning." Him saying, "Yeah let's do this." And closing the door. Then 5 minutes later coming out and saying, "I couldn't do it. Where's my Italian sausage sandwich?"
- Carrie and I making a bet that she wouldn't stay up Saturday night past 10pm. I said she wouldn't make it. She said she would. She fell asleep at 8:50pm. I am awesome.

There are so many things I'm missing. Other PIB-ers, help fill in the blanks please! I will leave you with this. We saw this guy sleeping under a tree so Drew just went over there and laid down next to him: