Wednesday, August 30, 2006

PIB 2006

So this weekend was Put in Bay, and as usual it was insane. Friday night Steph won the "first to hook up" award by making out with a random drunk guy for like 2-3 hours while we were all sitting next to her. She even beat out our resident man-whore, Tony. However, Tony bounced back later on when he won the "first to show us his junk" category. Honestly he owns that category and always will.

Gordo also made out with someone that night: your mom. Apparently he met a, um, somewhat more mature lady and spent some time with her. She was only like 20 years older than him. I didn't see her, but Kim did, and she said she was pretty. But definitely in her mid-40's. I don't write this to offend any mid-40 ladies out there-obviously you are all hot chicas. And actually to the lady who Gordo made out with, way to go on making out with a 20-something guy. To Gordo, you totally made out with a cougar (please see the last definition listed).

Jokes ensued appropriately. For example,

Gordo (after taking some serious ribbing): Why'd I even come over here to this cabin?
Me: I don't know cuz the women are older over here?

That's how it went. Non-stop. And it will never ever stop.

Saturday we went to the winery on the island which is always my favorite part of the Put in Bay experience. While we were there, some drunk lady thought that Sharda looked like Elvis Presley's daughter so we all kind of just went with it. Sharda even did the lip sneer thingie to perfection. Maybe she is Elvis' daughter? The lady kept coming up and asking her questions like, "Are you rich?" (Sharda: "I don't like to talk about my money.") She even went so far as to say, after the lady walked away, "Gosh I thought we could get through the day without people recognizing me. I just want to live a normal life." Then the drunk lady asked her to sign her stomach. So she did:

This might've been the greatest moment of my life. Ten minutes after this happened, our friends Brian and Anita showed up at the winery, and immediately the lady asked Brian to sign her stomach. And he did without hesitation:

Then completely unprovoked she came over to me and signed my boob, "Kim was here." Why is the winery the happiest place on Earth. Seriously.

After the winery we went to get food, and we kept bugging this poor kid behind the counter. He was from Bulgaria and was there on a student exchange program. He was absolutely adorable, and somehow we got him to kiss Sharda. It was awesome. Diane kept calling him Bulgaria which we decided was rude since he had told us his name so we made her go into a timeout. So she went across the street, sat on someone's golf cart and kept screaming this Browns cheer we made up when we were like 8:


This is why Diane and I aren't cheerleaders.

When we got back to the cabin, Steph had the hiccups. We tried everything to get rid of them without success so she decided she needed to do a headstand. She went into the bedroom to do a headstand. She did it on the bed so she could lean on the wall. A minute later we heard a loud crash and a scream. Nobody ran to do anything. We just laughed. I went in the room a half hour later, and Steph was laying on the ground in the middle of the twin beds covered in my sleeping bag and pillow. She had sort of fallen asleep in the middle of the headstand and fell completely off the bed. So she just reached up, grabbed my sleeping bag and pillow and went to sleep. I'm just saying that’s pretty normal.

Other highlights:
- Loyd jumping out of the cab yelling, "I'm gonna boot!!" and then almost puking in the grass.
- Drew opening the bathroom door and saying, "Hey-I need your opinion. Should I boot or not boot?" Us answering, "Boot-you'll feel better in the morning." Him saying, "Yeah let's do this." And closing the door. Then 5 minutes later coming out and saying, "I couldn't do it. Where's my Italian sausage sandwich?"
- Carrie and I making a bet that she wouldn't stay up Saturday night past 10pm. I said she wouldn't make it. She said she would. She fell asleep at 8:50pm. I am awesome.

There are so many things I'm missing. Other PIB-ers, help fill in the blanks please! I will leave you with this. We saw this guy sleeping under a tree so Drew just went over there and laid down next to him:


AG said...

Yay for the 40 something making out with a twenty-something!

I'm getting old.

Vicky Automobile said...

hilarious. I think i wet myself, only a little, from the picture. your blog rocks

Anonymous said...

Last night went like this as we opened another bottle of wine: "Aunt Nancy, I have to tell you something BEFORE you read it on Sarah's blog". I knew I was in for it. Here is Steph's version of the weekend:
1. I made out with a random guy. But I HAD to. I had a bet with Tony and I HAD to win the bet and it involved free beer.
2. Gordo made out with an older woman, about your age (thanks Steph). Ewwwwww, it would be like him making out with my Aunt! (wtg Gordo)
3. I also made a new fashion statement by wearing an empty beer bucket on my head as a hat. I looked pretty!

Aunt N

Anonymous said... idea...let's stop telling steph stories on the internet you guys. i can tell you them, you know me and know there is more to me than a lush, but the internet does not and i seem like an absurd person. so new rule...please! no more steph stories. my feelings are starting to hurt. please. you can tell steph stories until you hearts content to each other or people that know me, not to strangers. -steph

Anonymous said...

and for the record and to clear was not his bet with the was the girl he was trying to talk to that i ruined his chances with because i'm a horrible wingman that bet me the beer to make-out with her friend...let's keep tony's name, those that know tony know how funny that statement is...tony's name clean -steph

Sarah said...

Vicky, soiling your pants is totally welcome here.

Aunt N, I totally forgot about the bucket on the head! It was amazing.

Steph, most stories are told with admiration because you are effing awesome. Seriously you are endless entertainment, and my life is more fun with you in it. Internet, Steph is an independent, passionate, confident, brilliant woman in addition to being totally ridiculous. It's fantastic.

The Information Super Highway said...

Seriously, Steph, these stories only make you sound like a cool person that I, the internet, wants to meet and hang out with. Maybe you should start your own blog and introduce yourself. Then you can tell your own stories your way, and crazy stories about all your crazy friends, and, also, we could hook up. Since I'm the Internet, and you would be on me.

The Internet

Anonymous said...

Have any of you considered AA? ..I'm just saying....

Gordon said...

Actually, we HAVE considered AA. Then we realized that they meet in the evenings, usually during happy hour. And we're not good with conflicting schedules. Besides, it would be lame, kind of like anonymously calling people alcoholics on a blog.

Anonymous said...

gordo, i love you. anonymous' comment is exactly the reason stories have to stop. anon, i hate you. -steph

Sarah said...

Anon, do I sense some jealousy in that comment? It's okay-you're totally invited to come out with us. And if you are concerned for our health, well, I mean I'm not going to say you shouldn't be. I promise we slow down in the winter. Kind of.

Mon said...

Anyone who passes judgement on someone for *small clips* of their lives isn't worth worrying about. Most smart people know that you don't blog your entire life, just the fun and interesting things. When your old you'll look back and be happy you had as much fun as you are having right now. Screw what anyone thinks!

twisted panties said...

Wait. People pass judgement on you based on what they read on your blog? I thought they were joking all those times they mentioned AA on my blog. I think you guys are great. If you guys lived in South Texas we would definitely be friends. Crap, there I go passing judgement. Sorry, I know how bad that is. You are probably really boring in person.

Keep the stories coming Sarah.

Johnny Virgil said...

AA is for alcoholics. You guys are just drunks! Awesome story..

Sarah said...

I think Anon was kidding so it's all good. If he/she wasn't, well, I will just pretend he/she was. In my head everyone likes me. :)

Anonymous said...

Wow...looks like i touched a nerve with the whole AA was a joke..sorta. sorry.

Sarah said...

No problem, Anon. I honestly didn't take it in a negative way. I'm way too drunk for that.

Anonymous said...

sorry anon, but you don't identify yourself so i don't know if you actually know me, and know the other dimensions to me besides the goofy drunk chick, so i got a little sensitive...i don't really hate you...sort of. -steph

John said...

I puked corn in the bath tub one time. I refer to it as my raw corn stage.