Tuesday, October 10, 2006

My review of The Departed

Friday we went to see "The Departed". There were about 11 of us, and I was the last to arrive-as usual. I am not what one would call punctual in the traditional sense. Or in any sense. But I got there before it started, and the theater was packed so my friends saved me a seat. As I was walking in right behind a couple, Paul screamed across the theater "That girl's hot! The one in the green." (I was wearing a green sweater.) The poor girl in front of me-and her boyfriend-thought he was talking to her. So she was looking up at him like WTF? so then this happened while about 75% of the theater looked on:

Paul: "No not you. I mean you're hot, too. But I was talking to the girl behind you. You're pretty, though. I'm sorry."

The girl turned around and said, "Oh! He means you! Congratulations!" It was so effing hilarious I almost wet myself right there. I wonder what her boyfriend was thinking. Awesome.

Anyway, the review.

Summary: Holy shit.

I don't want to give too much away. I'll just say that it was fantastic. So many times during the movie I turned to Gordo and Loyd and said, "What the hell is going on right now?" in a good way because it is insane. The characters were so badass, and there was tons of action and some great twists and turns in the story. It was clever and surprising and funny. Actually I was surprised how much I laughed. Alec Baldwin was hilarious. As with a lot of other gangster movies, you walk away with a lot of great one-liners. Almost all of them courtesy of Jack Nicholson. It's a gangster movie, and I don't normally like gangster movies. But this one felt a little hipper to me. And it didn't have Sharon Stone. And, okay the hot men didn't hurt. It's not like Joe Pesci has me running out to see him in a movie because I think he's so hot.

The acting: Phenomenal. There's no other word for it. It was some of the best acting I have ever seen in my life. Jack Nicholson was amazing. Every performance by everyone in the movie-even the bit players-was top-notch. The only complaint I have is that the woman in the movie has a Boston accent that comes and goes. But it's barely noticeable in a movie this good.

The men: You guys already know that the main reason I went to see this movie was because of the men. As predicted, they were beautiful (though Mark Wahlberg's hair was doing something weird). I mean there was a hot guy in every scene. It was awesome. But let me just try to put into words just how good Leonardo DiCaprio looked. Um...I can't. He was so hot there are no words to describe it. Historically he has never really done anything for me. I mean I always thought he was nice looking, but I just didn't get all the hoopla. But after this movie, I swear I'm thisclose to buying a poster for above my bed and starting my own Leo fan club. He was just beyond gorgeous. I actually had a physical reaction to him up on screen. I mean he was just so. goddamn. HOT. Like Diane said, "You know Leo's looking hot when they pan back to Matt Damon, and I'm like 'Meh.'" Seriously. Matt Damon and Marky Mark looked good, but Leo. Leo was in a different league. Mmmm. There's just nothing more I can say.

Violence: Surprisingly none. Oh except I'm lying. If you don't like violence you won't like this film. I can't handle gore at all (I don't watch horror movies), and I was okay. It's more violent and implied gore than actual gore.

Swearing: Suprisingly none. Oh except I'm lying again. You keep falling for it.

Kids: Don't be one of those assholes who brings their kids to a highly inappropriate movie just because you want to see it. Because this movie couldn't be less appropriate for kids.

To be fair: Steph and Matt hated the movie. Steph said it was a waste of 3 hours. This is not a movie for everybody. Only people who are cool. Just kidding, Steph and Matt (not really, you guys).

Mom: Do not see this movie. You will hate it.

Dad: See this movie. You will like it.



Dad said...

Mom won't go. So, I either have to go alone or wait for DVD. Thanks for the review----any hot women?

Sarah said...

The woman in the movie is pretty cute, I think. She's really skinny, but has a pretty face. I'll have to defer to my guy friends for an honest opinion: guys? What did you think? Hot or no??

russ said...

I agree that the chicky is pretty skinnt, but she doesn't look unhealthy. And her one hot scene was pretty cool -- it was fairly realistic. For instance, her bra and panties didn't match.

And if she doesn't do it for you, you can always think about the ladies in the audience having "physical reactions" to the guys in the movie.


PS Pam is totally up my alley.

Anonymous said...

We were so not watching the same movie! It was so gratutiously violent that I was desensitized to people being bloodied and killed and managed to fall asleep an hour and half into the movie despite the constant gunfire. Bleh! (and when I woke up, i was still able to follow along...people were shooting people...got it, didn't miss much)

I'm picking the next flick. We are going to see Man of the Year. -Steph

Gordon said...

For the record, I thought the movie was amazing. I'm going to post a review in a bit, I think.

slcup said...

I don't always trust professional critics, but I trust Sarah. I'm definitely going to see this on Saturday. Matt Damon is one serious hottie!

Reel Fanatic said...

As a certified dude, may I just add that this movie kicked ass, and your review was great too .. and oh yeah, Vera Farmiga is one seriously hot chick

Adam said...


Can't you organise a date for your Dad to watch this movie with?

Surely you must have a mate that hasn't seen it yet but wants to?

Matt said...

Actually the longer I go the more I liked it. I think I was just more pissed off and surprised at the end of the movie than anything. I will agree though that it was amazing acting. I definately recommend watching it. Will I watch it again...not sure yet. I mean, I doubt I'll run right out the first Tuesday the DVD is released and buy it, but I think it could be a renter with somebody that hasn't seen it yet.